This one time I got arrested and the judge gave me community service. So really just roam around naked for a while in a neighborhood until the cops show up. Then the judge will have lots of ideas for your community service. They even have a court appointed guy that keeps up with it for you.
I got this red spot on my arm, should I do something about that?
There's nothing you can do. I suggest grabbing the nearest sharp object and begin immediate amputation.
So I did what was suggested for my community service problem, but the judge said that I need to serve 18 months in prison for "sexual assault" because I was just trying to help a woman carry her groceries, but she ran off screaming before I could even offer my service. What should I do now?
Give it lots of attention, talk to it all the time, especially in public, and make sure no one hurts its feelings. You're personalizing that notebook, so gosh darn people better treat it like it's a person.
I'm not sure what to major in in college. How do I decide on a major?