I lost someone key to my recovery today. I knew not to set expectations and I did. I already knew that "expectations are future resentments" yet I still expected my counselor to be there to help me through till at least November 8th. And today she was forced to quit.
She knew what she was doing, yet still I am unable to hold her accountable. Instead I am holding resentments towards TCC for enforcing the rules, even though TCC is the organization giving me this second chance at life. But mainly I am hateing and fully convinced that this cock sucker I have never met in my life is an arrogant piece of dog ****, cuz he butt hurt, and decided to cover it up by bragging about the situation setting the events in motion causing her departure.
I learned today that you can't learn from situations simply by finding your role in it. Sometimes you play no part, and there is nothing you can change about yourself to prevent it in the future. Powerlessness is a *****. But life is beautiful. So instead of being the old me that would obsess over said cock sucker and beat the life out of him just to make myself feel better, I don't have to live like that today.
If you actually read all this, thank u so much for listening. For those who didn't, just know "Expectations are future resentments".