- Joined
- Jun 15, 2020
- Location
- Canada
– Page 2 –
The Hunt for the Green Goblin Continues
By Joseph "Robbie" Robertson
The Daily Bugle decided to look into SMS, who we suspect to be Miles Warren. We determined that SMS was Town aligned as of the time he was investigated last night. Last night, SMS possessed no bonus or hidden votes and had no shares of stock leading us to conclude it is unlikely that he's the Green Goblin.
SMS is currently Town-aligned, possesses no bonus or hidden votes, and owns no stocks.
The Green Goblin continues to elude investigators to this day.
(This article received a front page fact-check. All bolded and green information is true, all bolded yellow information is null.)
– Page 3 –
Letters to the Editor
Anonymous said:Three dead in The Bronx last night. Woman and her son went first. Typical beaten housewife, frightened of everything but the valium and oxycotin and alcohol killing her faster than than the wretched life in a squalid apartment alone would manage. The son, 'sensitive' artistic type, no passion in life. Likely homosexual. Poisoned at dinner -- makes no difference whether it was intentional or due to narcotics-induced neglect. Father, drinker, comes home late to find the bodies. Takes the fire axe from the apartment hall and aims to vent his rage on nearest living thing. Found a dog and a few squirrels before being shot by the police. Since he was a white man, doesn't even make the news. They say no one died, no one tried to kill, lying to cover the ugliness humans bear. Town and mafia are vermin, alike skittering through the streets, picking through the **** and piss and used condoms of the gilded peers who fancy themselves somehow different as they dally with alleged aliens and freaks who wear masks as part of capering for fame.
You who read this are offered no absolution -- it's all just us who made the streets and made them filthy. Those who don't fancy the bed they lie in must make another without the weak-willed compromises that have poisoned minds and eaten up lives in the pursuit of empty dollars and unattainable happiness.
Dear Anonymous,
Reads a lot like Rorschach, but that's DC.
-Ed.
Anonymous said:Dear Robbie,
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if the Green Goblin could chuck pumpkin bombs?
Dear Anonymous,
I don't know man, they don't pay me enough for this.
-Ed.
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Editor's Note
By Joseph "Robbie" Robertson
Dear Readers,
I write to you today because I am concerned about the wellbeing of my boss, J. Jonah Jameson. While he is most likely Town-aligned, he also requires that Spider-Man leave the Active player pool at some point or else he will lose the game. While this would be foolish at a time where crime is running so rampant, perhaps Spider-Man would be willing to pay a quick trip to the Arrested pool or go on vacation in Exile at some point.
Keep up the good work everyone,
Robbie Robertson
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF THE DAILY BUGLE
Contact Us
– Page 5 –
Doctor Octopus Threatens City
By Ned Leeds
A reliable source has informed the Bugle that last Night, Andjalo, who is known as the villainous Doc Ock, successfully used an ability called "Conduct ILLEGAL Nuclear Experiment," which apparently results in the destruction of New York City if used X number of times. We do not know the exact value for X, but we do know it is a single digit. Doc Ock's lab in New Jersey was on fire, rumored to be from an explosion, during Day 5. Who knows if that was a failed experiment or a successful one? And how many attempts occurred before that? All we can say for sure is that multiple clocks are ticking toward our doom. Stay safe, New York City.
Doctor Octopus was the subject of a two-man team up against Spider-Man and the Human Torch today. The Green Goblin declined to join the battle, citing the fact that he isn't supervillain-aligned. While Electro arrived late to the fight in hopes of turning the tables against our costumed heroes, ultimately justice prevailed. Our heroes were left with a choice between arresting both of them or arresting one of them and setting back both of their plans. Andjalo was sent to jail with no bail and both their plans were set back by one day, but Storm still remains at large.
Once again New York City is safe, but with the Sandman, Green Goblin, and maybe even the mafia waiting for an opportunity to change that, no one knows for how long.
(Bolded information is mechanically confirmed, but not mod-confirmed.)
– Page 6 –
JJJ's Rants—In Business For Themselves
By J. Jonah Jameson
So these hot heads are out here playing dress up pretending to be heroes and what do we have to show for it? May Parker arrested based on the word of Torch with no proof, no due process, no RESPECT for her civil rights! Clearly he learned nothing from his rampage through Fisk International as he blindly accused another individual! May Parker is already been released from custody though, no bail needed as she very clearly wasn’t the criminal mastermind Torch made her out to be. So the question is what grudge does Torch have against May Parker?
And now, without addressing the matter at all, he’s tag team bullying esteemed scientist Otto Octavius just for trying to find a source of clean energy to replace out outdated and damaging current methods. I guess the world isn’t hot enough for Torch so he has to resort to contributing to global warming!
Seriously the only so called “Hero” that hasn’t made a complete mockery of our Justice System so far is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. But that’s mostly because he likes to hide in the shadows playing ninja in his pajamas!
– Page 7 –
Electro Robs Bank, Forgets to Bribe Entire Bugle Not to Report It
By J. Jonah Jameson
Yesterday three banks were simultaneously robbed. Reports do not indicate there was a connecting factor but reports also neglect that Spider-Man was nowhere to be found to stop them. Yet again this so called “hero” has failed this city. Some say he was napping again, clearly having learned nothing from the death of James Wesley. But in his absence the Bugle has learned that Electro was one of the three individuals that was present at said robberies. Afterwards multiple staff members reported receiving bribes from Max Dillion, leaving one to conclude the intent was to not be splashed into the pages of the Bugle.
Since the robbery Electro has continued to light the night. Electro has claimed that the aim of this event is to end the game but only after anybody that would challenge this action has a chance to fight him.
– Page 8 –
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– Page 9 –
Smear Campaign
The Daily Bugle is running a Smear Campaign against @Storm. This is a public service announcement.
Storm is a real bad dude. A menace to society, even! And you should really believe what you read about him here in the paper because the Daily Bugle is never wrong about these things, and they have endorsed this smear campaign! Don't trust him. Heck, let's put him behind bars!
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, STORM HAS A -1 PENALTY TO HIS THRESHOLD.
Classifieds - The Daily Bugle is now Hiring!
The Daily Bugle is looking to hire a photographer, a secretary, reporters, and possibly other staff.
Please write a Letter to the Editor validated by your character name with your character name, player name, alignment, desired salary and anything you'd like to say about why you think we should hire you.
Application enclosed below.
Application said:Character name:
Player name:
Alignment:
Desired salary:
Why we should hire you:
Daily Rumor
Robbie Robertson is a journalist with integrity who would never let his feelings get in the way of a story.
Solicitation
PLEASE BE SURE TO REACT TO THE DAILY BUGLE AND SEND A LETTER TO THE EDITOR EVERY DAY TO KEEP OUR BUSINESS SUCCESSFUL. THANK YOU FROM ALL OF US AT THE DAILY BUGLE.
– Page 10 –
Calvin and Hobbes
Nancy
Heathcliff
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