my friends and i are all experiencing severe emotional issues, 2 of them self harm, one has extreme anxiety issues, and one just told me the other day that she's extremely depressed and has been considering self-harm and has all these crazy inner demons, she says she can't sleep and her family treats her like crap and today at lunch she wouldn't eat because she said she wasn't hungry
but she said that the day before that
and the day before that
and it sucks because
se's always been the most optimistic, happy, enthusiastic one of our little group
and to see her deteriorate like this is absolutely killing me.
i'm just trying to fix everyone and i'm kind of breaking myself because there is so little i can do and the people i love are falling and i can't do anything to catch them and it hurts, so, so much
every time i read a personal blog post of theirs i blame myself for not being there, i blame myself for not being able to stop them from feeling this way
and at school it's sunshine and rainbows and everyone pretends everything's A-OK and they tell me they're okay and then they post something and I know, I know they aren't.
i'm the most stable out of us right now which is barely because i'm dealing with my own issues too and trying to handle mine plus everyone else's is just
i'm falling apart too and
i don't know what to do
i'm 50 shades of ****ed up, man
i know that if my friend self-harms
i won't forgive myself.
ever.
i don't want her to end up like the rest of us
and yeah that's what's on my mind right now
sorry