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The Official ZD Jokes Thread

Triforce King

Pathfinder for life
Jul 10, 2011
Long ago before the existence of man, there were two armies. One side consist of God and his army of angels, and the other side consist of Lucifer and his army of false angels. It was a furious battle between good and evil, but at the end good have triumph over evil. With Lucifer and his men capture, God speaks to Lucifer.
God: Lucifer before you receive your punishment, there's one more thing I need to tell you.
Lucifer: What is it?!:mad:
God: I'll see you next Fall.:cool:
Lucifer: What?o_O
God: Kicked Lucifer out of Heaven like a professional placekicker
Lucifer's Army::goodness:
God: Looks at Lucifer's Army:mods:
Lucifer's Army::eek:
God: Kicked Lucifer's Army out of Heaven too

Lucifer and his falling angel came crashing down from the sky like a bunch of meteorites to the ground.
Lucifer: ccccccccck! Crash to the ground head first
Lucifer's Army:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Crash to the ground
Lucifer: pulled his head out of the ground
Ooooh, now I get it.:D
Lucifer's Army: Shut up Devil!:dry:
The End.



Feb 16, 2015
An old am is looking after his 7 year old Grandson for the evening. He is sitting with a glass of scotch reading a newspaper when the kid asks "Grandad, can I have some of your drink?"
The man replies "well, can your dick touch your arse hole?" To which the kid shakes his head and the man says "then you aren't old enough to drink this scotch."
Later the kid is sat on a step outside eating a pack of cookies. The man sits next to him and asks for a cookie to which the kid says "can your dick touch your arse hole Grandad?"
"Yes it can" says the Man with a smile.
"Then go **** yourself" says the kid.


Sep 21, 2013
The Expansion

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