General Art Super Smash Bros: The Final Tournament

[Ganondork]

It was an alright chapter. The fight was overall rather boring, though. You ended it far too quickly, and really the attacks were used over and over again. It needs some cleaning up, because at one point:

After a, they knew that this was serious, and that they would all die at the end

After a what? That seriously makes no sense. Other than that and the fight, it was an ok venture.

 

[Jedizora]

It was an alright chapter. The fight was overall rather boring, though. You ended it far too quickly, and really the attacks were used over and over again. It needs some cleaning up, because at one point:



After a what? That seriously makes no sense. Other than that and the fight, it was an ok venture.

Sorry about that. it was suppose to be all, but spell check forgot thanks. abyway, this is mostley a exercise in writing. I've never been good at writing fighting, so I figure this is a perfect chance.

 

[Myriadviper42]

That chapter was ok. So far I am perfectly fine with the losers. XD

 

[Caeda]

What Myriad said. I don't really like Snake or Peach.

I vote for a Link vs. Mario match, with Link the victor. (More for the match then the outcome, though.)

 

[Myriadviper42]

I have an idea. Maybe you could tell us the next matchup, and we can place bets. That would be fun. XD

 

[Jedizora]

I have an idea. Maybe you could tell us the next matchup, and we can place bets. That would be fun. XD

Oh, I like that.
The next round is pichu vs Diddy. Now taking bets.

 

[Myriadviper42]

I'd like to say Pichu, but I'll bet Diddy Kong because he's more likely to succeed. I know it's random, but still.

 

[Caeda]

Pichu. His cuteness demands me to bet on him! (Though I'd be surprised if he won, to be honest.)

 

[Jedizora]

That's 1:1. Come on, break the tie!

 

[Hero of Time]

Okay, caught up on the story. I like it a lot, but I have a few suggestions:

1. Double space your paragraphs, adding a blank line between them. This makes it easier to read and gets rid of the wall of text.

2. Make the fights longer. They are described pretty well, but they don't seem to last. Perhaps explain what's going on in the minds of the fighters, to get the reader more into it.

 

[blue-eyes]

Pichu all the way. I don't care who wins but i want to break the tie

 

[RegalBryant]

IF this were based on actual knowledge, diddy would win, so I'll just vote Diddy