The Official ZD Jokes Thread

[Jirohnagi]

****, Marry, Kill

A McChicken sandwhich
Harambe
Yourself

Easily solved
Kill Harambe (cuz who else don't love pissing off america)
Marry the chicken sandwich (gimmie votes in president elections WOO Inbred chicken lovers)
and obviously **** myself nothing else is perfect enough

Yes this was me taking the piss HOWEVER

I told a feminist my semen was gender fluid

 

[Kylo Ken]

Easily solved
Kill Harambe (cuz who else don't love pissing off america)
Marry the chicken sandwich (gimmie votes in president elections WOO Inbred chicken lovers)
and obviously **** myself nothing else is perfect enough

Yes this was me taking the piss HOWEVER

I told a feminist my semen was gender fluid

"Harambe was just a gorilla."
-Hitler

 

[Jirohnagi]

"Harambe was just a gorilla."
-Hitler

well 11k americans voted for him in the elections.


OMG I KNOW THE BEST JOKE.

America's Presidency Now

 

[Fraxinus]

I was at the hospital today and was diagnosed with traces of hypothermia. That's ok though, it's only a mild case and they prescribed me medication for it!!!

 

[Dio]

Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate...they're both cauldron.

 

[DeactivatedUser2]

A guy walks into a bar and starts hitting on this Asian chick. Being the cocky douche he was, he asks her for her number almost immediately. She responds, "SEX SEX SEX, FREE SEX TONIGHT!" The man, overjoyed, begins leading her back to his car to take her to his apartment, but the woman's friend quickly stops both of them. "She's still learning how to speak English; she meant 666-3629."

 

[Feverish]

My dear Meridith, you must have been so proud of your chin that you grew another one.

 

[Dio]

I was looking on the KKK website to see if I could sign up but apparently you have to be an American to join. I mean seriously, are these guys racists or something?

 

[Spirit]

A guy is drinking at a bar. He has a few drinks, decides to call it a night and leaves.

A few minutes later the guy returns and is seething with rage.

"Which one of you b******s painted my car bright pink?!" He screams.

"Me, what of it?!" Replied a deep booming voice from a dark corner of the bar.

"Nothing, i just wanted to let you know the first coat is dry." He replied

 

[Woyogoyo]

Life.

 

[AzureCobra]

This comic I found on Minds is humorous.

 

[Dio]

Black Friday special deal:
You and me
My place
All clothes 100% off

 

[Steve The Pirate]

Your Moth-arrrrrr










Yarr

 

[Libk]

I'm pretty sure Steve the Pirate will end up being a ZD joke

 

[Kylo Ken]

I'm pretty sure Steve the Pirate will end up being a ZD joke

Garr-matey, ye walk the plank for that statement!