The Official ZD Jokes Thread

[Dio]

life is a box of chocolates...
It doesn't last as long for fat people.

 

[mαrkαsscoρ]

 

[Dio]

The difference between England and a Teabag?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

 

[Dio]

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish. The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more scrumptious. The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?" And the waiter says, "Señor, sometimes the bull wins!"

 

[Feverish]

Judge: Your papers say that you want to divorce Minnie for being "extremely silly"
Mickey: No! I said I want a divorce because she was f*cking Goofy!

 

[Dio]

And the Lord said unto John; "Come forth and receive eternal life!" But John came fifth and won a toaster.

 

[Misty]

Here's a joke:
Turkeys.

Here's another joke:
Feminism.

Here's a final joke:
Turkey Feminists.

*drops mic*

 

[Terminus]

Permabans. What a joke those are.

 

[Dio]

Permabans. What a joke those are.

Why? has JJ returned?

 

[Dio]

I'm not racist. I love all races. Except marathons. **** running.

 

[Dio]

Pokémon Go has now overtaken Tinder in popularity. Another app where you can find monsters in your local area.

 

[Dan]

Permabans. What a joke those are.

Permanent = Forever = 1 day

 

[Libk]

Dan is a ZD joke right?

 

[Mipha]

Dan is a ZD joke right?

Yes he's an anthropomorphic ZD joke

 

[Dio]

I despair at the direction this world is going in. I was in church the other day and I saw a man lighting his cigarette from one of the altar candles. I was so shocked at seeing it I dropped my can of beer.