Pre-Card Announcement: If you're receiving this it's because Misty said you were going on her Christmas (Hitmas) list. You lucky goober.
I hope this Hitler Christmas Card finds you and your family spiffy and lovely. You're pretty swell. Whether is it Allah, Jesus, or No One at all that brings you good fortune, gifts, and a very merry christmas, I want you to have a particularly lovely one this year. Always remember to Heil Hitler and nothing will ever be able to harm you including bombs and briefcases.
P.S. Harambe Died for your freedom so you better have a quiet moment for him at some point this season.