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Zelda Art The Hero of Spirits

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
I said I was gonna rewrite it, and by-golly I'm gonna rewrite it! However, this is A LOT MORE than a simple rewrite or revision. There is going to be so much changed... I want it to be a whole new story, yet at the same time the same story I had so much fun writing all those months ago. For those of you who enjoyed the original, you're in for a treat! So far, all I have done is the prologue. I think my writing skills have gone up exponentially since I first wrote it. For those of you who already read it, let me know if you think I've improved, and for those of you who haven't, I hope you enjoy it!

** It's weird to think I wrote this story seven years ago. Every now and then I'll go back and re-read it, and occasionally I'll touch it up. I've gone back and fixed some plot holes and re-did a few scenes here and there. Ultimately, I want to preserve some things as they are, even if they were obviously written by a 15 year old boy. But still, some things are just a matter of the quality of the writing. **

This story takes place during the Great War between the Spirits of Light and the Demon King Malladus. It follows the adventures of a young boy named Alphonse as he travels across the country called Hyleigh with his partner, Zelda the Fairy. He'll meet invaluable friends along the way as well as formidable enemies. Through courage, determination, and his love for his friends, Alphonse grows from a normal boy and becomes the Hero of Spirits, the one designated by the Spirits of Light to save the world.

** New readers are recommended to read from the Google Drive folder because it's more complete and in the proper order. Enjoy! :)

* * * * New and returning readers are NOW recommended to read from my AO3 because its now the most up-to-date.

The Hero of Spirits

As I walked through a dark forest in the early hours of the morning, trudging through the low mist, my only light was the one emitted from my fairy partner, Zelda. She floated through the air gracefully at my eye level, to my right.

“Are you sure this is right?” she asked me uneasily.

“Yes!” I replied excitedly. “The capitol city should be right up ahead, Zelda!”

“I don’t like letting you take the lead, Alphonse. You always get us lost!”

“Hey, that’s not true! I may be a little bad with direction, but there’s nothing to fear! I know exactly where I’m…”

My voice trailed off as we entered a large clearing. We were standing in front of a moblin fortress. We were spotted instantly. A blaring alarm began to sound.

“... Going.” I finished.

“Aw, damn it, Alphonse!” Zelda snapped.

“Ah, don’t worry, Zelda. This is nothing.” I said as I drew the sword strapped to my back. Moblin soldiers were charging at us like rabid dogs. “I just need five minutes...”


My name is Alphonse. I’m a 15-year-old male with dark brown hair and golden eyes. I wear a white, hooded jacket with a pattern of black flames around each sleeve, the waist, and the rim of the hood. I also wear black trousers and black boots. I carry a sword strapped to my back as well. My partner, Zelda, is a light blue Forest Fairy. We’ve been together for three years now. When I was twelve, I found her surrounded by a pack of Stalchildren in the forest. I saved her life, and we’ve been best friends and partners ever since.

* * *

I sheathed my sword as I triumphantly stood before the bodies of twenty-odd moblins. The dead monsters littered the ground in front of their fortress. Just as I had declared before the battle began, I only needed five minutes.

“Good work!” Zelda said.

“Thanks. Now let’s get out of here.” I said, starting to walk off.

“Oh, no, not yet!” Zelda said angrily as she cut me off. “I’m going to fly up above the trees and see where the capitol is, and then you’re going to follow me! I’m sick of you getting us lost all the time!”

“Hey, I do not get us lost all the time! You’re just exaggerating!” I retorted.

“Oh yeah? What about the time we got lost in that cave and got surrounded by Stalfos? Or the time we got lost in the mountains? We were stuck there for a week! And also that time when-“

“Okay, okay, I get it, I get it!” I said in frustration, cutting her off. “Just go see where the capitol is, all right?”

Zelda flew high up above the tree line. Her light blue color stood out in the dark color of the morning sky. I heard her shout, “I can see it! It’s to the east!”

“See? I was going the right way!” I shouted as she flew back down to me.

“Alphonse, we were going west! Not east!”

“... Oh.” I said, embarrassed.

“You see? This is what I’ve been talking about!”

“All right, fine, I’m sorry. Lead the way.”

“Thank you. Now let’s go!”

Just then, a loud crash behind us drew our attention away from our destination. A large moblin at least twice my size had jumped down from the fortress roof. He was holding a large guillotine sword in his hand. Zelda got behind me. I could tell she was worried.

“You…” he bellowed. “You think you can get away with this, killing all of my brethren?!”

“Hey, they attacked me. Did you think I'd just let them kill me?” I said calmly.


The enraged moblin boss lunged forward and brought his sword down through the air towards me. I leapt out of the way and drew my own sword. The blade crashed into the ground, and bits of dust and rock scattered in all directions.

“You want a fight? You got one.” I said.

We both stood opposite one another, our swords ready to strike. No one moved. No one spoke.

A bead of sweat rolled down my cheek.

Our eyes locked, each of us staring the other down, watching every sudden move.

The bead of sweat fell.

My right foot shifted forward. His did the same.

The bead of sweat splashed to the ground.

In that instant, our blades crashed together with an array of sparks and steel. Our blades parted, and I swung forward. He parried and swung back. I ducked to avoid the three-hundred pounds of steel that cleaved the air above my head. As I did, I pushed forward and cut across his stomach. Blood spurted from the wound. The moblin gasped for breath and growled angrily. He then continued to attack desperately, each attack more vicious than the last. I parried and dodged each strike as I moved back.

“Alphonse, watch out!” Zelda cried out.

I backed up too much and tripped over the dead body of a moblin I killed earlier.

“Damn it!” I breathed as I fell backward.

The moblin used this opportunity to strike. As he swung his enormous blade down upon me, I used the brunt of my arm to vault further backwards. The blade split the dead moblin’s body in two, as well as the ground beneath it. Using the momentum of my roll, I hopped to my feet and attacked again. Our blades clashed once more. Each of us struggled to gain the upper hand in this contest of strength.

“You will not survive this, human!" the moblin rasped.

I felt my arms beginning to give under his strength. There was no doubt that he was stronger than me. All I could do was grit my teeth as he forced me closer to the ground. Soon, he would overpower me completely. Fortunately, this was just the opportunity my partner could take advantage of.

"I'm not here for no reason, you know!" Zelda said as she rushed the moblin.

“Wha-!” he gasped.

Distracted by the fairy's glow in his face, the moblin stopped putting strength into the sword that pinned me in place. I did not miss this chance to escape. My sword grinded against his as I slid out from beneath its weight. Her job done, Zelda quickly darted out of harm's way.

"Curse you!" the moblin shouted.

Once more, I was faced with a heavy greatsword cleaving the air towards me. I ducked below the arc of its swing and swiped at the blade. Caught off balance, the moblin staggered back, and without missing a beat, I sliced through his chest. Blood poured from the wound as he struggled for a gulp of air.

“G-gauhh… Hahh… Hahhh…” he coughed as he fought to stay standing.

His grip on the hilt of his sword released, and it came crashing down to the ground. He tightly clutched his wound with his hand, but blood continued to seep through his fingers.

“My lord… I h-have failed you… Lord...” he said with his dying breath.

The moblin finally collapsed to the ground, with a thud and a splash of blood. His final word was nearly inaudible, but Zelda and I could make out what it was he said.

“Alphonse... did he?” Zelda asked uneasily.

“Yeah... He definitely said Malladus..." I answered.

* * *

Malladus is the name of the Demon King. He is an evil entity of enormous power, and one who is currently at war with the Spirits of Light, the sacred guardians of this world. The war between the Demon King and the Spirits has been going on for thirteen years, and Malladus has been slowly gaining support from the monsters that live in our world, such as the moblins. If things continue the way they are, the land will be lost to Malladus’s evil. That’s why I fight. I may not be able to stop the Demon King himself, but the least I can do is take out his followers. I want to do everything I can to help this world. That’s why…

... That’s why I’ll never give up.​
Last edited:


Nov 12, 2010
That was a pretty good prologue, Azure. Although I found that you seriously lacked detail. It seems like you overdo the detailing and dull it out entirely or you fail to really detail and leave the reader guessing what you're thinking of. You need to find an equilibrium between over detailing and being vague. I think you did well, but you could improve. Overall, nice job man. :yes:

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Thank you for the advice, Ganondork! I'll be sure to try and get myself a good equilibrium for my detail. For now, everyone, enjoy the first official chapter.

Chapter One

I strode through the forest with quick steps, following behind Zelda, who took the lead. We were on our way to the capitol city, Hyleigh City. Zelda darted ahead at a steady pace through the trees. I followed quickly behind her, using the light she gave off as a guide in the darkness of the early morning. The trees were gradually thinning in number.

- We must be almost out of the forest…

Eventually, the trees opened out around us as we entered a large plain. As we left the forest, a silhouette of the great walls that encircled Hyleigh City finally came into view.

“We made it back!” I said excitedly.

Just as we left the forest, a glimmer of sunlight began to peer out from behind the great silhouette of the city’s walls. Daybreak had begun to intoxicate the sky with splashes of blue and violet and gold as we moved at a brisk pace toward the city. The clouds that stretched across the morning sky in various patterns and shapes and sizes became more visible in the light of dawn. It was truly an impressive sight, befitting for such a prominent city.

“I can’t wait to see Saria again!” Zelda giggled to herself.

‘Yeah! I can’t wait to tell her how we brought down another moblin fortress!” I added.

Saria is the name of a little girl Zelda and I met a while back. Now, whenever we come to Hyleigh, we stop by her home to visit. Saria is always dying to hear about our adventures. She now thinks of us as her big brother and big sister. In a way, Zelda and I have become just that.

* * *

We walked through the always-bustling streets of Hyleigh City. Even though the sun had just come up, the streets were packed with people. People here, people there, people everywhere. There seemed to be no end to them as they went about their own morning routines. We walked down the street where we first met Saria, and I smiled to myself. I couldn’t help but remember it.

- 1 YEAR AGO -

“What’s the matter? Why are you crying?” I asked a little girl. She was standing in the middle of a bustling street in Hyleigh City. She was out of breath but still managing to cry her eyes out.

“What happened to you?” Zelda asked.

“S-some bully s-stole my dollie…” she managed to squeeze out through the tears and her hyperventilating.

“Oh. Well don’t you worry!” I said enthusiastically. “I’ll go get that doll back for you, I promise!” I told her.

The girl looked up at me, sniffling, with wide eyes.

“Now, which way did he go?” Zelda asked.

The girl pointed to an alleyway to the left.

“Right! And we’re off!” I shouted excitedly and sprinted off.

The little girl watched as I ran off with a bewildered look on her face.

“He’s a little childish, but he means what he says. He’ll get your doll back for you, no problem!” Zelda assured the girl before heading off to join me.

Meanwhile, I was sprinting through the alley at top speed. Up ahead, I spotted a boy a little younger than me running while holding a doll in his hands. He looked back to see me charging towards him with gleaming golden eyes.

“I FOUND YOU!” I yelled.

The kid flinched from shock, then sprinted off down the alley and around a corner.

“You're not getting away! Give that girl her doll back!” I shouted.

I rounded the corner to see the boy reaching the top of a ladder on the side of the wall, leading up to the roof.

“I don’t think so!” I said.

I used the opposite building’s wall to wall-jump more than half the distance up the ladder. The kid gasped and ran off as fast as he could, jumping from one roof to the next over narrow alleys. I mimicked this and followed after him. I was gaining ground fast. It was at that point that Zelda arrived.

“Alphonse! I got him!” she shouted as she cut off his path.

The boy screeched to a halt, almost running into Zelda. She moved out of his way all of a sudden. The kid didn’t know why at first, but he soon found out. I came up behind him and tackled him to the ground. Zelda saw me coming and moved out of the way before she was knocked over as well. I raised myself up, keeping a tight hold on his arms, which were crossed at his back.

“Ow! Hey, lemme go! Lemme go!" he cried.

“Not until you give that girl her doll back.” I commanded. I tightened my grip on his arms.

“Owowow! Okay, okay! I’ll give the stupid doll back!”

I let him up but did not let him go. We descended the building and returned to where we met the girl. Her parents were there trying to figure out why she was upset. They saw us, and the girl perked up excitedly when she saw her doll. After that, I forced the boy to apologize to the girl and her parents, and he gave the doll back. He then ran off.

“Thank you very much for helping Saria, you two.” The mother said.

“Don’t mention it! It was our pleasure!” I said, smiling warmly. Zelda fluttered about happily in agreement.

“Thank you Big Brother! Thank you Big Sister!” Saria said happily.

Zelda and I laughed together.

- Big Brother, huh?


I knocked on the door of the cozy little place Saria calls home. The door creaked open. It was Saria. The second she saw us, she burst out with excitement.

“Al! Zel!” she shouted as she tackled me onto the ground with a hug.

“Good to see you, Saria!” I said with glee as I patted her head.

“We missed you Saria!” Zelda added cheerfully.

Saria’s mother walked outside, wondering what all the commotion was about.

“Saria, who’s at the door, sweetie? Oh, Alphonse and Zelda!” When she saw us, a big smile spread across her face. “Welcome back, you two!”

“Heh, thanks!” I said as I stood up.

“Please, come on in.” Saria’s mother, Gracia, invited. I walked inside, followed by Zelda and Saria. “You’re just in time for breakfast!” Gracia informed us.

In the kitchen, sitting at the large wooden table in the center of the room, was Saria’s father, Roy. He saw Zelda and I, and jumped up.

“Oh, Alphonse, Zelda! You’re back again!” he said cheerfully.

“Nice to see you again, Mr. Roy!” I greeted.

“Hello!” Zelda added.

“Well, since you’re here, you might as well join us for breakfast!” Roy invited.

He pulled out another chair for me, and we sat. Saria sat next to me, and opposite us sat Gracia and Roy. On the table was a complete breakfast of bacon, eggs, and orange juice.

“Well, dig in!” Roy exclaimed.

“Thanks!” I said gratefully.

Breakfast progressed with the sounds of forks hitting glass plates and conversation.

"So, what kind of things have you been learning in school, Saria?" I asked.

"Oh! We just learned a whole bunch about the King and stuff! And like, we also learned about the country and stuff!"

"Oh? Stuff like what?" Zelda asked.

"Well... Like..."

* * *

Our country, Hyleigh, is made up of four major sectors, or “Realms”; the Forest Realm in the southwest, the Snow Realm in the northwest, the Ocean Realm in the southeast, and the Fire Realm in the northeast. There is also a smaller sector between the Ocean Realm and the Fire Realm, called the Desert Realm. As their names suggest, each Realm has its own specific climate and geography. And as such, the people living in the different Realms each have their own specific customs and way of life. Most humans, like me, are mainly from the Forest and Ocean Realms; I was born in the Forest Realm myself. Our country isn’t populated by just humans, though.

Each major Realm has its own unique race. The Forest Realm has the Kokiri, a race of forest dwellers that live in the depths of the woods, protected by a Fairy Queen. The Kokiri appear as human children, and they each have a guardian fairy that accompanies them. Zelda was one such fairy; however none of the Kokiri wanted her. She became an outcast and left the Kokiri behind. That’s when I first met her.

The Ocean Realm is populated by both humans and the Zora race. They’re a humanoid-aquatic species with scales, fins, and gills for living both underwater and on land. The Zoras run a ferry business in the Ocean Realm, and also control the fish trade for the entire country.

The Snow Realm has a few villages inhabited by humans, but they’re mainly close to the borders. Deep in the mountains of the Snow Realm lives the Anouki race. Covered in thick fur, they thrive in subzero temperatures. A major source of natural oil is located deep within the mountains, and since nobody else can get to it without freezing to death, the Anouki control it. This makes them a crucial ally to our King.

The Fire Realm is mainly inhabited by the hardy Goron race; very few humans live there. The Gorons are characterized by pale yellow skin and rocky backsides. They control the mining trade, and are also our country’s main manufacturer of weapons like swords and bows. This makes them a valuable asset and ally to our country’s Royal Family.

The Desert Realm is mainly populated by the Gerudo race. The Gerudo are a race of women, and only one man is born every generation. Their tan skin compliments their life in the Desert, and they have a big business in providing rest for travelers.

The country’s capitol, Hyleigh City, is where the Royal Family’s castle stands tall. Our country is a monarchy, and our King, Dereveaux Nostramhus Hyleigh, is a kind and just ruler. He has a pact of alliance with the leaders of each race. The alliance has its roots with the beginning of the Great War. When Malladus launched his attack on the Spirits of Light, it lead to chaos in the human world. King Dereveaux united the inhabitants of Hyleigh, who previously did not keep in much contact, and stability returned to the land.

* * *

"Wow, you learned all that? That's impressive!" Zelda said.

"Hehe! My teacher said I'm a very smart cookie." Saria said.

"So, what have you two been up to lately?" Gracia asked us.

“The usual. Going from here to there, kicking monster butt... Oh! Hey, Saria, guess what? Earlier, Zelda and I defeated a whole fortress of moblins!”

“Wow! Al and Zel, you two do all kinds of awesome stuff! You're the best!”

Even after all the food was consumed, the conversation didn’t end.

“So, while you two have been gone, Saria’s been learning how to play the ocarina!”

“Really? That’s so cool, Saria! Could you play something for us?”

“Sure! Let me get my ocarina-“

“No, no, dear. Wait until after breakfast.”


“It’s all right, we can listen to it later!”



Ever since we met Saria and her family, it’s been as if we were a part of their family as well. We’ve been treated by Roy and Gracia as if we were their own kids.

- Having these kinds of bonds… is a really nice thing, huh?

* * *

Close to 10:00 in the morning, Zelda and I bid our farewells, and started to leave the town.

“Man, it sure was great seeing them again, huh, Alphonse?” Zelda proclaimed.

“Yeah! And Mrs. Gracia’s cooking’s the best ever!” I exclaimed, thinking about the satisfying breakfast I ate.

“Eh he heh… Can’t you take your mind off of food for a little while?”

“Hey, you’d think differently if you could actually eat anything!”

“Ha ha, I’ll take your word for it!”

Before we knew it, Zelda and I reached the front gate. We walked out of the city and resumed our travels.

“Where should we go next?” I asked, eager to hear Zelda’s suggestion.

“Wanna stop by Mayscore again for a bit?”

“All right! It’s decided! Let’s go!” I shouted as I strutted off.

I didn’t get very far before hearing Zelda shout, “It’s the other way, Alphonse!”

I turned around, saying, “I knew that!” and continued my strutting.

“Yeah right.” Zelda teased.

All of a sudden, we heard Saria’s voice.

“Al! Zel!” she shouted.

She ran up the street clutching an ocarina at her chest.

“Saria?” I asked. “What is it?”

As she ran through the gate, she shouted, “I forgot to play you my ocarina song-”

It was just then that Hyleigh City went up in flames.​

I had to brace myself from the wind and force of the explosion. It seemed to decimate the entire city in just a few seconds. The force sent Zelda reeling back through the air, and launched Saria forward. I could hardly hear her cry out in pain over the noise of the explosion as she hit her head against the ground.

“Saria!” I shouted in horror.

I rushed over to her and tried to wake her, but she was out cold. Blood dripped from the fracture on her head as I started to lift her up.

“Oh no…” I said to myself.

I looked at her, blood starting to run faster from her skull, and then at the blazing ruins of Hyleigh City. I thought about Roy and Gracia. They were still in there when it happened. If Saria hadn’t wanted to play a song for us, she’d be dead too. In that moment, blood was not the only thing flowing. Tears flowed onto Saria’s cheek from mine as I knelt on the ground with her in my arms.

“Alphonse!” Zelda cried out in desperation as she hurried back over to me. “What do we do, Alphonse?!” I wracked my brain for answers.

- How can I help Saria? What can I do?! I don’t have any medical training-

That’s when it hit me.

“Rena!” shouted all of a sudden.

“What?!” Zelda asked.

“Rena! She’s a doctor! She can help us!”

“Really?! Well, where is she?!”

“She lives in the forest! Her house isn’t too far from here; just a few miles away! Let’s go, now!”

I stood up and carried Saria’s unconscious body on my back as I ran as fast as I could go toward the forest. Zelda rushed right on behind me.

I heard her whisper, “Please be okay Saria…”

I heard a roar.​

I stopped and turned to face the burning wreckage of Hyleigh City. A very serious and terrified look overtook my face.

“Alphonse, what’s wrong?” Zelda asked.

I did not answer right away. I began to break out into a cold sweat when I heard the roar a second time.

- I know that sound…

Zelda began to shudder violently.

“… Let’s go.” I said.

I turned back around and we continued on to Rena’s house.

- That roar… It was definitely him...
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Azure, there is an improvement on the detail from the prologue to chapter one. What I really like is that you are using elements from the series but you do not overdo it. I like that. It helps put you in the mindset of the story being in the Zelda Universe, but it does not throw every aspect about the series at you.

The pacing of the story seems like it is happening quick, but it is not that bad. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your story!

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Thank you for your criticism, Tadock! And now, folks, chapter two.

Running as fast as I could, I carried Saria on my back through the forest. Zelda kept pace with me. I slowed down, panting.

“Alphonse, don’t push yourself so hard!” Zelda advised.

“I’m… I’m all right…” I said, breathing heavily. “We can’t stop now… We’re almost there…!”

I continued to run as fast as I could. Exerting this much energy was really starting to take its toll. I needed rest. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to stop for anything. All I could think about was getting Saria to Rena.

- Just hang in there, Saria...

It took us nearly two hours, but we finally came to a stop in front of a small, wooden cabin in the forest. I was panting almost compulsively, with sweat mixed in with tears dripping from my face. I walked up to the front door and knocked rapidly. I stepped back and waited. I heard footsteps approaching, and the door opened to reveal a beautiful woman with flowing scarlet hair and shining sapphire eyes. The second she saw me, a look of shock came over her face.

“... Alphonse? Is that you? What’s…?” she asked.

“Rena… help…” I pleaded while trying to catch my breath.

Chapter Two

“Bring her in!” Rena commanded. I quickly entered the house, accompanied by Zelda. She lead us into a small bedroom in one of the other rooms.

“Lay her down here. Quickly!” she instructed.

I gently eased her off my back and onto the bed. Rena took over from there. By the time I laid Saria down onto the bed, Rena had already brought over her medical equipment. She did all the preliminary procedures; taking her temperature, checking for a fever. Next she examined her head wound.

“It’s just a small fracture. Nothing serious.” Rena told us. She looked over at me, and noticed my concern. “And nothing I can’t fix!” she added with a comforting smile.

Rena applied a small dose of medication to Saria’s injury, stitched up the wound, and wrapped a bandage around it.

“Is she gonna be all right?” Zelda asked.

“Yes. She just needs rest. She’ll come around soon enough.”

Zelda and I let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you, Rena.” I said.

Rena smiled at me teasingly and said, “You’d better thank me! You come home for the first time in four years, and it’s with a patient! Do you know how rude that is?”

“… Huh…?” Zelda said.

“Oh, um... Uh, s-sorry, Rena.” I said nervously.

All of a sudden, a huge grin broke out across Rena’s face. “Ahahaha! I’m only teasing you, Alphonse! Welcome home!” With that, Rena gave me a big, welcome-home hug.

“Y-yeah, thanks! Good to be back!” I said cheerfully as we embraced.

“Huh?” Zelda said.

“Man you’ve really grown up a lot, Alphonse! Last time I saw you, you were only this~ tall!” she said, indicating a position just below my shoulder level.

“Yeah, I guess. But you haven’t changed much!” I said with a laugh.

“Huh?!” Zelda exclaimed. “W-w-wait a second, Alphonse! Th-this is your home?!”

“That’s right.” I told her.


The place was Aboda Village, a small town on the southern shore of Hyleigh, in the Forest Realm. Everything was ablaze. Homes smothered in fire collapsed into piles of charcoaled ruins. Even though it was midday, the sky was black with smoke. The air was thick with the scent of death. Not a soul was left alive.

I stared out at the destruction of my hometown with eyes widened from shock. I’d just returned from playing out in the forest.

“What…” I breathed.

I took a step forward. That step turned into a sprint. I dashed through the burning streets of Aboda Village, calling out to anyone who could hear me.

“Hello?! Can anyone hear me?! Anyone?!”

The only response was the crackling of flames.


I ran as fast as I could to my house. When I arrived, it was a wreckage of fire and ruins.

“Mom! Dad! Hello?!” I called out.

No response. My eyes darted around the wreckage, searching for any sign of my parents. And that’s when I saw it. I saw an arm wearing the bracelet I’d made out of leaves for my mother.

“MOM!” I screamed. I started to enter the rubble to see if I could save her.

I heard a roar.​

My body froze. I broke out into a cold sweat. I couldn’t move. I was too afraid to even breathe. I stood there, motionless.

There it was again.​

An overwhelming sense of fear took over my body. It shook me to the very core. My heart was pounding so hard, it may as well have burst out of my chest. This was the most fear I’d ever felt before in my entire life.

Suddenly, a hand touched my shoulder. I jumped in fright, and quickly turned to face the presence behind me. What I saw, however, wasn’t scary at all.

I was facing a very beautiful woman with scarlet hair and sapphire eyes. The expression on her face was very serious.

“We need to get out of here, now.” she told me.

“But... But my mom-“

“There isn’t any time! It’s coming! We have to go!” she shouted as she dragged me off.

“No! I won’t leave her! Mom!” I screamed as I struggled to break free of the woman’s grip.

“It’s too late to save her! Now let’s go!” she said as she lifted me up over her shoulder and dashed off. All I could do was scream in protest as the burning remains of my home and the body of my mother withdrew from my view.

* * *

I sat on the green couch in Rena’s living room. My gaze was directed at the floor. Rena was crouching at my eye level, staring at me with a slightly annoyed look. All of a sudden, she let out a great sigh.

“Listen, kid, this would be so much easier if you’d just talk to me.” Rena told me.

I didn’t answer.

“Sigh… Will you at least tell me your name?"

I didn’t answer.

“All right, look, I’m sorry, but we had to get out of there. It was too dangerous to stay there with that thing approaching, and I wasn’t just going to leave you there. You would’ve been killed.”

“… Maybe that would’ve been good.” I said quietly.

“What?! Now, now, don’t talk like that! That’s not true, and you know it.”

“What’s the point in living anymore? My mom and dad are dead! I can’t live without them!” I shouted at her.

Rena did not falter. “I see. So your hate your parents then.”

“What? No I don’t! I love them!” I said, bewildered.

“Oh? So tell me. Why give up on life?” Rena asked.


Rena stood fully upright. “You were talking about dying. That made me think you hated your parents. After all, why give up on living if you loved your parents? If you truly love them, then don’t give up! In fact, never give up on life if you truly love someone! Keep living for their sake, because that’s what they’d want you to do!”

I stared at her, wide-eyed. What she said really moved me. And I realized she was right. My parents would never want me to stop living.

I smiled for the first time that day.

“Thank you, Miss…” I breathed.

Rena grinned and said, “Well look at that.”

“You’re finally smiling.”


Rena, Zelda and I were in her kitchen. Rena made some tea and a warm meal. As we ate, I told Zelda all about what happened to me nine years ago.

“I… I’m so sorry, Alphonse… I had no idea…” Zelda said quietly.

“He never told you any of this?” Rena asked.

“No…” she said.

“I see.” Rena looked over at me. “So, Alphonse, what exactly happened to that girl?”

“Hyleigh City was just attacked and destroyed. We’d just left the city, and Saria followed after us because she wanted to play us a song on her ocarina. If it weren’t for that, she would’ve died too...”

Rena almost dropped her cup out of shock. “You're kidding! The capitol, destroyed? To think that... That's horrible." She paused for a short while. "So, what happened to that girl's head?”

“The force of the explosion knocked her down, and she hit her head.”

“I see.” Rena stared out the window in the kitchen for a little while. She seemed to be quite taken aback by the news of Hyleigh City's destruction.

“… Rena?” I asked.

She returned her gaze to me. “Hm?”

“It… was him, wasn’t it?’ I asked.

Rena nodded. “Yes. It was. There's only one creature I can think of with the power to destroy an entire city..."

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Hero of the Zora
Nov 5, 2010
Well, that was unexpected, at least by me. This is some really good quality writing, and I see no problem with any "overdetailing." Maybe that's just because that's the way I am too. Anyway, looking forward to the rest of it, and I'm definitely excited by the prospect of not having to wait very long.


I really like the original names you come up with for places and characters. Very Zelda-y. :)

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Thank you both, Tadock and MikauIncarnate! Well, everyone, enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter Three


“Vaati?” I asked.

“Yes. That’s the name of the Demon Lord that destroyed your village.” Rena explained to me.

I lowered my head. My hands balled up, clenched into fists. "Why would he do something like that?” I asked quietly.

“Vaati is the Demon King’s most trustworthy servant, as well as the most powerful. He does his master’s bidding with merciless cold calculation.” she told me.

“The Demon King?” I asked as I raised my head back up.

“The Demon King, Malladus. The one who started the war with the Spirits of Light four years ago.”

“A war?” I asked.

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head.

“...Well, you’re only six. Your parents may have just not wanted to worry you, or maybe they felt you were too young to understand.” Rena guessed.

I didn’t answer. At this point, all I could think about was Vaati. I thought about what he did to my parents. I felt an intense amount of rage welling up inside me. I hated Vaati for what he did to my parents and my village. And I wanted to get revenge.

Rena could somehow tell what I was thinking. “Alphonse.”

“Yes?” I asked, my mind snapping back into reality.

“Don’t seek vengeance.” she told me.

“Huh?” I asked.

“I can imagine how much you must hate Vaati… But regardless, you can’t seek revenge.”

“But why not?” I asked angrily. I jumped up off the couch. “He killed my mom and dad! He’s gonna pay for it! Why shouldn’t I get revenge?!” I shouted.

"You’ll be throwing your life away, for one.” Rena said. “Vaati is way too powerful for you to take on. And besides, if you commit your life to vengeance, what comes next?”

“Huh?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

“If you commit your life to seeking revenge, it will blind you to everything else. Let’s say you get your revenge. What will you do after that, huh?” I didn’t answer. “Walking the path of vengeance will bring you nothing more than just that. You have your whole life ahead of you, Alphonse. Don’t waste it on revenge. Instead, use that time to make new friends and see new things, and have new experiences. If you focus on revenge, you’ll miss out on everything else life has to offer. Keep living, but live to live your life, not to kill.”

I was speechless. Everything Rena said to me seemed to resonate with me. I really took what she said to heart. Rena seemed to know just what to say, and when I needed to hear it. I began to feel like I was growing closer to her. I suddenly wanted to stay with her. I felt safe with her.

“... Miss Rena?” I asked quietly.

“What is it?”

“Do you think I could stay here with you?” I asked, blushing a little.

Rena stared at me in surprise. All of a sudden, she started laughing. I thought I said something ludicrous to her, but once she stopped laughing, she smiled. “Well, now!” she said.

“Looks like my family just got bigger.”


“Vaati was behind this?” Zelda asked.

“Seems so.” Rena said. “From what I'm hearing, Hyleigh City was destroyed in the same manner as Aboda Village, and two other cities as well.”

“Papuchiya and Snowhead?” I said.

“That’s right.” Rena confirmed. “It seems likely that Vaati was behind the attack on Hyleigh City as well. Judging by the past attacks, I think it’s safe to assume there were no survivors.” Rena looked over in the direction of Saria’s room. “That girl is extremely lucky…”

“… I want to go back to Hyleigh City.” I said.

“What for?” Rena asked.

“No reason.” I said.

“I’ll come too.” Zelda said. She started to follow me.

“No, stay here. If Saria wakes up before I get back, she needs at least one familiar face around her.” I told her.

“… All right.” Zelda said. She floated back near Rena.

I left the kitchen. I walked through the family room, and left the house. I headed to the ruins of Hyleigh City.

* * *

“Do you think he’s going to see if Vaati’s still in the area?” Zelda asked Rena.

“I doubt it.” Rena said.

“How come?”

“Well, he left his sword here.” Rena said, indicating the sword propped up against the wall near the door. “I don’t think he’s going there to fight anyone.”

Zelda fluttered quietly. "Alphonse…”

* * *

I walked at a brisk pace back through the forest toward the ruins of Hyleigh City. When I arrived, smoke was still rising from the wreckage. I stood silently for a few seconds, gazing out at the vast destruction. I noticed the castle was gone.

- The castle’s been destroyed… That means the King and the Royal Family are all dead…

I entered the ruins of the city and walked down what was once a bustling market street. I looked around. What used to be shops and stands of busy merchants and townspeople was now nothing more than ashes and rubble. Scorched corpses littered the area. The stench of burning flesh plagued the air. I noticed that my lips were getting sticky. I realized this was because of the fat that evaporates when a body is incinerated.

- Some people didn’t even leave bodies behind…

I walked down what used to be the street I met Saria on. I stood quietly, reflecting on the memories I had here.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I brushed it off and continued to where Roy and Gracia’s house used to be. When I arrived, it was nothing more than a pile of burnt debris. I didn’t see any bodies. Roy and Gracia were probably incinerated.

“Roy… Gracia…” I said quietly. “… I’m sorry.”

I picked up a few pieces of debris lying nearby. I made two small mounds of dirt next to each other in the ground in what was left of their front yard. I placed one piece of debris in each mound, as gravestones. I used my finger to right the names Roy and Gracia under them.

I stood up, and stared down at them for several minutes. At last I said, “Good-bye.” With that, I turned around and left the city.

On my way out of the city, I noticed something on the ground just outside the gates. I walked over and picked it up off the ground.

“Saria’s ocarina…” I said quietly.

I put it in my pocket and walked off. I walked a few feet before I stopped. I listened, and then I dodged to my left. As I did, a sword crashed down to the ground where I was just standing.

“Who are you?” I asked the attacker.

It was a Stalfos, and a big one at that. He was wearing black armor, and carried a sword in his left hand and a shield in his right hand. His eyes glowed red.

“My name… is Kanda…” he rasped. He took a few steps toward me. His bones rattled with each step. “And I am here… To kill any humans… I find…”

Kanda lunged at me. I reached for my sword, but I grasped empty air.

- I left it at the house!

“Missing… something…?” Kanda laughed.

“Damn it...” I breathed as I resorted to dodging.

Kanda swung his sword around violently. His moves were easy to predict, so I had no trouble dodging them. However, his skill was clear. I needed a way to turn this around, and fast. As I dodged his flurry of strikes, I dipped down and dashed past him. Turning on my left heel, I swung my right leg into a roundhouse kick aimed at his back. The impact came with a thud, and Kanda lurched forward.

As he recoiled from my kick, I grabbed him from behind. With one hand on his shoulder to keep him still, I ripped off the arm holding the sword. As a Stalfos, he was nothing but bones, so it was easier than I expected to tear his joints apart.

“What the…?!” Kanda gasped.

His dismembered arm fell limp, and his sword dropped to the ground. Kanda quickly reached for it with his remaining arm, but I kicked him again and he stumbled forward. I used that opening and grabbed the sword for myself. Just like that, the tables were turned.

“It’s over!” I shouted as I cleaved his body in two.

Kanda’s bones collapsed to the ground. They rotted instantly and turned to dust. With the battle over, I tossed the sword aside, turned, and walked home.

- Kanda must’ve been here under Vaati’s orders. He was here to kill any survivors. Thank goodness we were able to get Saria out of here so quickly…

As I walked, I contemplated what this meant.

- Why would Vaati leave behind a soldier to kill any survivors? That’s something Vaati would rather do himself. So why did he make a soldier do it instead…? Could it be there was something else more important?

Then it hit me.

- Was he called away by Malladus…?

* * *

I arrived back at Rena’s house just as the sun was beginning to set. When I walked in, Zelda was waiting for me.

“Alphonse! You’re back!”

“Did Saria wake up yet?” I asked.

“No, not yet…” Zelda said sadly.

“I see…” I reached into my pocket and pulled out Saria’s ocarina. “I found this.”

“Saria’s ocarina!” Zelda exclaimed.

“Yeah. She’ll be happy when she wakes up…

“She’ll be able to play that song for us after all.”​
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Hero of the Zora
Nov 5, 2010
This is so saaad!!! Write something more happy next chapter, please? Although I really do like the way you incorporate so many elements of Zelda, but like, different. It's very cool and well written.

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Eh, heh heh... Sorry, this next chapter isn't much cheerier... Either way, enjoy!

Chapter Four

That night, I sat in a chair next to Saria’s bed. She had still not woken up after hitting her head. Zelda had fallen asleep in the hood of my jacket. Rena was sitting in the corner, quietly reading a book. I was staring down at Saria, zoning out. I was thinking about what it was I should do next. I wasn’t sure where to go, or even what to do. Seeing the people I care about get hurt, and even killed, made me think hard on how I should act. I don’t want the people I love to get hurt, but how can I protect them? This thought ravaged my mind as I tried to come up with an answer.


I was startled. I looked down to see Saria looking up at me.

“She’s awake!” I shouted.

Zelda woke up with a start, and Rena jumped out of the chair in the corner.

“Zel…” Saria said when she saw Zelda.

“Thank goodness you’re okay, Saria! We were so worried!” Zelda fussed excitedly.

“Good to see you’re coming around." Rena said.

Saria looked at Rena curiously.

“Oh, this is Rena. She’s our friend, and a doctor. She helped you after you got hurt!” I explained.

“Oh... Thank you.” She said quietly to Rena.

In response, Rena smiled cheerfully at her.

“Oh, by the way, Saria, I have your ocarina! Here you go!” I said as I handed it to her.

Saria’s face lit up. “My ocarina!” She took it and hugged me. “Thank you Brother!”

We all smiled and laughed happily together for a short while.

“Where are my Mommy and Daddy?”

Silence enveloped the room like a veil. None of us knew what to say to her. Saria looked from me, to Zelda, then to Rena.

“Where are they?” she asked again.

“… Um, well…” I began.

Telling a five year old that both of her parents are dead was not an easy thing to do.

“They’re here, aren’t they?”

“Um… no, they aren’t…” I said quietly.

“They’re not? Then where are they?” Saria asked.

“Um…” I started.

“Well, they’re… probably… dead.” Rena said.

“… What?” Saria breathed. “They can’t be dead… Right? They’re fine, right? Right?” Rena just stared at her with a pained expression. “No… No! You’re lying!” Saria became hysterical. “You’re lying! I know you’re lying! You have to be! My mom and dad aren’t dead, they can’t be!” She started to cry. “They’re not, right Al? Right, Zel?” she asked.

Zelda and I were watching her with the same pained expression as Rena.

“Right?!” Saria asked again.

I looked at her, about to start crying myself, and said, “… I’m sorry.”

Saria stared blankly at me for a few seconds. “No…” she whispered. “NOOOOO!” she screamed. She began sobbing frantically. Rena closed her eyes; it was too painful for her to watch. As she closed them, tears began rolling down her cheeks. The same was happening to me. “Mommy… Daddy…” Saria screamed between her sobbing.

She shoved her face into my jacket and gripped it tightly as she cried to the point where she may have been able to drown herself in her tears. I put my arms around her and hugged her tightly. Tears were streaming from my eyes, too. Zelda leaned in close to Saria’s head.

Rena wiped her eyes and said with a shaky voice, “I’ll leave you alone for a while…” With that, she left the room.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up on the floor in Saria’s room. I stood up, still dressed, and looked at the bed. Saria was still asleep, and Zelda had fallen asleep on her pillow next to her head. The pillowcase beneath Saria's eyes was stained with tears. Feeling glum, I stretched and left the room. I walked into the family room. It was empty. I looked out the window to see a sunrise. It was early in the morning. I heard movement in the kitchen, and I walked in to find Rena cooking.

“Rena.” I said.

“Oh, good morning Alphonse.” She said, turning to face me. “You don’t look well. Did you get enough sleep?”

“Not really.” I admitted.

“… Me neither.” Rena said solemnly.

I walked over next to her to see what she was cooking.

“Bacon and eggs?” I observed.


I looked back at the pan, then back at Rena.

“Can I... talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course, Alphonse.” Rena said. She turned the stove off, and we sat down at the wooden table in the center of the room. “What is it?”

“About Saria… Do you think you could take care of her? Just like you did for me?” I asked.

“Of course. That was my intention from the beginning. I knew you'd ask me that, after all.” she answered. “Is that all?”

“No… I was thinking…” I began.


“I was thinking I should defeat Vaati.”

Rena stared at me in surprise for a few moments. “Are you sure about this?” she asked.

“Yes. Very.” I told her. “I want to defeat Vaati to prevent the tragedy that happened to Saria and her parents from ever happening again. I feel like it’s the best way for me to protect the ones I love.”

“I see.” Rena said. She was quiet for a few moments. “Just one thing. You say you want to protect the ones you love?”

“Of course.”

“Then before you go to hunt down Vaati, remember this: Even if you’re trying to protect the ones you love, if you don’t come back safely they’ll suffer in sadness. And that’s no way to protect them.”

I looked at her straight in the eyes and said, “There’s no way I’m going to leave you guys behind.”

Rena watched me quietly. “Sigh… All right, Alphonse. Go for it.”

I stood up and said, “Thank you.”

I grabbed my sword and strapped it to my back. We walked to the front door together, but I quickly came to a stop. Rena could tell I still had something on my mind.

"Hey..." I began. "How come you're not trying to stop me?"

"Because I know you're not the same child who had eyes full of a thirst for vengeance. I can see the man you've become, and I know that you're doing this for the right reasons." Rena smiled. "And besides, I trust you. I know if you didn't think you had a chance, you wouldn't do this recklessly. I can see on your face the thought you're putting into this. That's why I'm not stopping you."

I felt a warm feeling in my chest. For as long as I've known her, Rena was always supportive of my decisions. She always made sure that I knew my limits, and that I had the confidence in myself to do what I needed to do.

"Thank you, Rena. I mean it." I said.

I received a warm hug from the woman who was like a mother to me. In that moment, I promised myself I'd come home to this warmth alive.

"What about Zelda? Aren't you gonna take her with you?" she asked.

"No. It'll be safer for her to stay here. And Saria might not be comfortable being alone with you yet. I think it's better for all of us if she stays here."

"You're not going to at least say goodbye?"

"She'll try to stop me no matter what. It's better this way."

Rena crossed her arms. "Alright, if you're sure. Then be safe out there!"

"I will, thank you."

Opening the door to Rena's cabin let in a light breeze and the morning sunlight. I started away from the house, feeling a brisk wind at my back. My chest welled up with anxiety about my path ahead, and I started getting nervous.

“Alphonse!” Rena called out from the doorstep.

I turned around to face her.

She said with a grin, “If you die, I’m going to kill you.”

I grinned back and laughed as I waved. With that one line from her, my anxiety melted away. I could always count on Rena to put me at ease. I set out to find Vaati, my courage now renewed.

* * *

I walked through the Forest Realm at a quick pace, occasionally breaking out into a jog. As I came to small rest stops along the road, I would inquire about Vaati. Everyone I talked to grimaced at the mention of the name, and I usually got responses like, “It’s suicide!” or “You’re throwing your life away.” I tried to ignore them. I was determined to defeat Vaati, for Saria’s sake.

Around noon, I came to a small village called Whittleton on the border of the Snow Realm. The people there were very friendly and hospitable. I asked about Vaati there, too.

“Do any of you know where I could find Vaati?” I asked.

They all stared at me in shock. That was expected. But what they did next was not expected at all.

“Come on, we better get him some warm clothes!” a townie said.

“And a hot meal, too!” said another.

“I’ve heard Vaati is in the Snow Realm somewhere right now. Good luck, kid!”

I was amazed. These people were the exact opposite of everyone else I met since I set out. They were very supportive, and weren’t against me at hunting down Vaati at all. It was as if they could tell I had an important reason for doing this with just one look.

I smiled and said, “Thank you.”

One of them gave me a winter coat to wear, and I put it on over my clothes. It was really comfortable and warm. It hugged my body tightly, keeping out the cold. It was light gray, with a large, insolated hood. There was plenty of room for my sword, too. They let me eat a big, warm meal before I set out. It was delicious.

- These people are really nice… I’m glad there are people like them in this world, even during these hard times…

I said my good-byes and thank-yous, and left the village for the Snow Realm.

But not without hearing a townie shout, “You’re going the wrong way, kid!”
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Hero of the Zora
Nov 5, 2010
That was much cheerier, well, the second part was. Once again really good stuff. All I have to say is maybe read each chapter once or twice again before posting just to catch little typos like "my" instead of "me." Other than that, awesome.


I liked it! I only thought that the line "if you don’t come back safely they’ll be sad." Could have been written differently. Saying "sad" does not seem consequential enough to me.

But it is really good. I'm excited to hear more. :)

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Thank you both, Tadock and MikauIncarnate! I'll keep those things in mind. Now, for chapter five!

Chapter Five

The sun had finally set when I reached the Snow Realm. It was a desolate place; nothing for the eye to see but a sea of white blanketing the world before me like sand blankets a desert. It was a breathtaking sight to behold. There were emerald green pine trees loosely dressed in snow scattered here and there, casting long shadows amid the white sea. Outlines of white mountains dominated the distant horizon, beneath a myriad of clouds which showed off all different sizes and shapes. They floated in a care-free manner in the wind as snow danced through the breeze, adding more to the white sea.

The scene that lay out before me was absolutely enticing. I felt compelled to stay and watch this simple beauty of nature for hours on end, but I knew I must keep moving. I had to find Vaati. I decided I'd ask around a nearby village, Kakariko.

As I trekked through the bitter cold, I was thankful for my winter coat. It really kept me warm. I decided I’d thank the people of Whittleton on my way back home.

When I reached Kakariko Village, the moon was beginning to rise into the sky. There weren’t a lot of people outside right now. The buildings were doused in snow, and the light from some of the windows lit up the snow on the ground. I continued to look around for anyone I could ask about Vaati. But so far, no luck. It was colder during the night, and most people were already inside--

I accidentally bumped into a girl as I rounded a corner. We both fell to the ground.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” the girl fussed.

“No, it’s my fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going…” my voice trailed off.

The minute I saw her, I was struck speechless. The girl was absolutely beautiful. She had silky black hair, shining violet eyes, and a face that made me feel so warm inside that the cold night air didn't seem to matter anymore.

I quickly snapped out of it and helped her up. “Thank you.” she said.

“It’s all right.” I told her.

“I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you a traveler?” she asked.

“Yeah, I am. I’m actually looking for Vaati right now.” I explained. “I heard he was somewhere in the Snow Realm. Do you know anything?” I asked.

“Vaati?! Why would you want to find him?” she asked.

“Vaati hurt someone close to me. And it wasn’t the first time, either.”

“Oh, so you want revenge…”

“No, not at all. That’s not why I’m looking for him.”

“Huh? Then what for?” she asked, a little bewildered.

“I want to defeat him to prevent the things that happened to me and the people I care about from ever happening to anyone else. That’s why I want to find him.”

The girl seemed awed by my response. “I see... I still don't think it's a good idea, but if you're that determined, I won't stop you.” she said. “I don’t know where he is, but I overheard my stepfather talking about him earlier. He might know something. Come on, I’ll take you to him!”

“Okay, thanks!” I said.

She led the way back around the corner and down the street. “By the way, my name’s Naomi!” she told me.

“I’m Alphonse. It’s nice to meet you!” I introduced myself.

“Likewise!” she said, smiling. “Oh, we’re here!” she said as we came to a stop in front of a small clinic.

“Here?” I asked. “Is your stepfather a patient?”

“No, he runs the clinic.”

“Oh, he’s a doctor?”

“That’s right.”

“Huh, what a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, my guardian is a doctor too.”

“Oh! That is a coincidence!” she giggled.

We entered the clinic. It was a small room, with a few chairs against the left wall. A man covered in bandages sat in one of them. Behind the counter was an older man with gray hair and a thin beard. He wore glasses than slid halfway down his nose at times, and he had to keep pushing them back into place.

“Oz!” Naomi said cheerfully as she strutted over to the counter.

“Ah, Naomi, you’re back. Did you forget something?”

“No, this guy wants to know where Vaati is.” she explained.

‘Vaati, eh…?” he said, looking over at me from behind his glasses.

The bandaged man to our left began to shudder.

“Yeah. “ I said as I walked over. "She told me that you might know where he is.”

He studied me carefully for a few moments. "Recently, people have been trying to vanquish that vile Demon. However, none have succeeded. There have been very few people to make it out of an encounter with him alive. I hope you aren't planning on fighting him, too." he said.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I am." I said.

“That’s… That’s insane!” the guy sitting in the chair shouted. He hopped up and walked over to me. “To seek out Vaati is to seek out your own demise!”

“I’m going to defeat him.” I told him. “I want to stop him from hurting anyone else.”

He grabbed me by the collar and lifted me up. “Don’t do it! You’ll die!” he shouted.

“Hey! Be easy!” Naomi yelled.

"Listen, kid. I was in a party that tried to fight Vaati just this morning." he shouted at me. "I was the only one to make it back alive. And the only reason I survived was because I ran away while Vaati was killing my comrades! I'm telling you from first-hand experience that it's impossible!"

The fact that he left his comrades to die made me sick, but I didn't spend much time thinking about that. I did not falter for a second. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I will defeat him.”

The guy just stood there, holding me by my shirt, trembling with anger. He suddenly let me go, and walked back over to where he was sitting. "Fine. Go ahead and die if you want." he spat as he sat down.

“You seem have a resolve forged from steel, young man.” Oz said to me. "If you are really resolved to do this, then I doubt anything we could say will stop you. According to what that man said when he came in, Vaati was somewhere to the west. He may not be there anymore, but it's worth a look."

“Thank you.” I said.

I left the clinic with Naomi, who wanted to see me off. We reached the west gates of the village.

“Well, good luck, Alphonse.” she said, quietly.

“Thank you, Naomi.” I said. With that, I left the village to find Vaati.

“Um… Alphonse?” Naomi began.

“You’re kind of going the wrong way…”

* * *

The moon rose higher and higher into the starless sky. Hiking through the sea of white, I began to feel a sense of dread. This feeling seemed to seep into my very being. It was one that seemed to make even the foundations of the Earth quiver in fear and anticipation.

- I know this feeling...

I looked around to get a bearing on my surroundings. I was literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the white sea on all sides. Kakariko Village was almost completely out of view. There was nothing to be seen, except for my footprints trailing off in the distance behind me. So, I continued on, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that kept growing stronger and stronger and stronger still as I pressed forward.

All of a sudden, memories came flooding back to me. I remembered the day when Vaati attacked my hometown, Aboda Village. I remembered the feeling of dread I had when I heard Vaati’s roar. And yesterday, when Vaati destroyed Hyleigh City, I got the same feeling of dread when I heard Vaati’s roar as I carried Saria to safety. I always got this feeling when Vaati was nearby. I stopped, closed my eyes, and listened. I stood there in the snow, still and silent, just listening. That’s when I heard it.

I heard a roar.​

My body started to shake. It was definitely Vaati’s roar. It sounded very close. All of a sudden, I heard snow being crunched beneath an approaching foot behind me, accompanied by the ring of a blade cleaving the air towards me. In a heartbeat, my eyes were open, my sword was drawn, and my body was turned. My sword connected with the other in a vibrant display of sparks and bits of steel. And this other sword was wielded by the very individual I came here to defeat.

I had finally found Vaati.

Vaati was almost a foot taller than me, dressed in all black, which matched his pitch black hair. His blood-red eyes screamed of a lust for blood as our swords clashed. He began to grin devilishly in a manner that made him seem a bit insane.

"I found you, boy..." his deep, hoarse voice rasped.

- What? Was he looking for me?

All of a sudden, he gave a great shove with the full weight of his body. He knocked me back and off my feet. I was caught off-guard, but recovered quickly. I landed skidding to a stop in the snow, keeping both my sword and my eyes trained on Vaati.

“Why are you looking for me?” I asked.

“Because I need to kill you.” he told me.

Now I was really surprised. “Why?”

“Well, let me start at the beginning. And ya better get comfortable, 'cause there's a lot to tell. You see, I remember you. You're the lone survivor of Aboda Village."

- What?! He remembered me from nine years ago?!

"I would've killed you back then, but that damn hag of a doctor took you away before I got the chance. You see, there's not allowed to be any survivors. But my Lord, the Great Malladus, made an exception that one time. However, he also made it perfectly clear that from then on I was to ensure that there would be no survivors! And so I did for Papuchiya and Snowhead. But then, yesterday, when I destroyed Hyleigh City, you brought that little girl out of there before I had the chance to kill her.

"I was about to follow you, but then I received orders from Lord Malladus to assist him in his battle against the Spirits. So I had no choice but to let you go. After Lord Malladus relieved me of my duty in the battle, he made it clear that I was to hunt you down and kill you and the little brat, or else he'll kill me himself! All because of you, my Lord's faith in me has been ruined! Do you know how that made me feel inside? FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!" he shouted.

“I see.” I said. I was a little shocked, but I stood my ground. “You know something, Vaati? I was looking for you, too.”

“Oh, really? Whatever for?” he said with a laugh.

“Because, I’m going to defeat you.” I said strongly.

Vaati stared at me blankly for a few moments. Suddenly, he broke out into the most psychotic laughter I’ve ever heard in my life. The laughter lasted for a good minute before it finally subsided.

You? Defeat me?! Ha! Don’t make me laugh.” he scoffed.

- You just did...

“Many people have tried to defeat me, and I squashed them all like ants. What makes you think you will be any different?" he laughed. "Why do you want to defeat me, anyway? Is it to take revenge for your parents’ deaths?” he asked with a twisted grin on his face.

“No.” I said.

“Oh? Then is it to take revenge for that little girl and her family?” he asked.

“No. It isn’t for revenge.”

“Huh? Then why else would you want to defeat me?”

“In order to prevent you from hurting anyone else. I want to stop the tragedy that happened to me and to Saria from ever happening again. That’s why I want to defeat you.” I said.

Vaati started laughing hysterically again. “That’s it? That’s the only reason you want to defeat me? Ha! Stop lying to yourself. Just admit it. You want revenge. You want to taste the sweet sensation of vengeance you get from killing the man who murdered your parents and the parents of that little girl, don’t you?”

“No.” I said.

“You want to know what it’s like to rip his guts from his body and feel his blood on your hands! You want to dance upon his dead corpse and drag it in front of your parents’ graves!”

I felt a spark of rage light up inside me. However, I held my ground. “No.”

“Just admit it! It’s okay! It’s only natural to hate the man who killed your parents! Just let out all that hatred you have bottled up inside you. Let it all out, and fight me!” he screamed.

I felt the rage within me grow brighter. However, I remembered Rena's words to me when she saved me, and forced that anger down. Once more, I said “No.”

Vaati became quiet. “Seriously? You really don’t want vengeance? Wow. You’re pretty boring. What about all the hatred? Where’s your rage?! The man responsible for the deaths of your parents is standing before you, mocking you about it! Doesn’t that make you a little angry? Come on!”

“You don’t seem to understand, Vaati.” I said. “I came here to defeat you in order to prevent anyone else from getting hurt. Nothing more.”

Vaati studied me silently for a short while. “I see. So that’s the kind of young man you are. You fight to protect the people you love, instead of seeking revenge. Humph. How noble. In that case...”

He brandished his sword. I did the same.

“In that case, show me just how badly you want to protect them, Alphonse!”
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Apr 16, 2010
I just got through the Prologue and Chapter One. So far, so good. No major mistakes, and at first glance, no minor ones either. I really like your method of storytelling, with the centered text and whatnot at significant points in the chapter. The detail is light but sufficient. I will be reading the rest shortly~

Azure Sage

March onward forever...
Staff member
ZD Legend
Comm. Coordinator
Thank you, Hero of Time! A side note: this next chapter contains pretty graphic violence and some harsh language. Just a friendly warning. I hope you enjoy it all the same!

Chapter Six

I charged, sword in hand, and prepared to strike.

"Ha! You'll have to do better than-" Vaati began to say.

I was almost upon him when I immediately side-stepped around him to the left. I was behind him in a matter of seconds. Vaati was caught off guard, but he still blocked my slash with his sword. Our blades clashed, and we kept slashing and thrashing our blades at each other. Our swords crashed together and parted over and over, until I stopped attacking, and resorted to just dodging while backing away. All the while, Vaati's face seemed to be petrified with that devilish smirk. He kept slashing, but he couldn't hit me. I dodged to the left, right, ducked, parried, right again, parried, and then I saw it--an opening.

I thrust my blade forward after I parried his last attack, without missing a beat. But Vaati disappeared, and reappeared behind me.

- He’s using magic to get an advantage!

I jumped to the right and avoided his next strike. He then summoned five orbs of dark energy, ominous violet in color. They lined up in a straight vertical line before him. He swung his left hand vertically. The five dark orbs rocketed toward me like bullets, with astonishing speed. I slashed my sword downward, cutting through each of them. They dissolved into nothing.

Vaati tried the same thing again, except the orbs were lined up horizontally this time. He swung his left hand horizontally, and the orbs shot toward me again. This time around, however, I dove forward and rolled beneath them towards Vaati, and they flew off into the distance behind me. As I came up onto my feet in front of him, I stabbed with my blade. He jumped backward, and I continued moving toward him. As I slashed with my sword, never missing a beat, I was able to cut his left cheek just as he tried to dodge my strike.

I jumped back a few times to gain some distance as Vaati swung his sword at me. He did not seem to realize I had just cut him. He then stopped all of a sudden. His blood-red eyes slowly moved to the left, until his cut came into view. The second he saw it, his eyes became wide and angry. He slowly lifted his left hand, and using his thumb, he wiped off some of the blood that was lazily seeping from his cut. He looked at his thumb, a smear of his own blood on it.

His eyes fixated on that spot. He stood quiet for many seconds. I did not move. I stood there in the snow, several paces away, watching him silently. Vaati's hand began to quiver with rage, and the expression on his face became full of wrath and fury. His body, seething with anger, began to quiver violently. All the while, his wrathful expression was becoming even more furious.

"You..." he began to say, his voice shaking with rage. I was starting to feel very uneasy. "You..." he continued. ”YOU SON OF A *****! HOW DARE YOU?! YOU, A LOWLY HUMAN, DARES TO CUT ME?! YOU BASTARD! I'LL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!” His body became engulfed in an aura colored an ominous violet. The expression on his face began to develop a mix of psychosis. He'd gone insane from his hurt pride. “I’LL KILL YOU!! I’LL KILL YOU DEAD!! I’LL KILL YOU DEADER THAN DEAD!”

He tossed his sword to the ground aside him, and the next second, he was gone. I lost sight of him for a split second. The next thing I knew, he grabbed me by the face and threw me with amazing force. I was sent flying, crashing through the snow, receiving several injuries. I was able to gather myself and bring my guard up, but not before Vaati tackled me to the ground fiercely, knocking the wind out of me. I never even got the chance to gasp for air before he began ferociously punching me, over and over again. Blood was staining his knuckles. I was in serious pain, and couldn't move.

All the while, Vaati was screaming, "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"

He then grabbed me by the neck and held me up, his vice-like grip chocking me. I still had a strong grip on my sword, and tried to cut him again in an attempt to get him to release his grip. But the moment he saw me lift my sword, he kicked me in the stomach. I coughed up a lot of blood as I was sent flying again. But before I even hit the ground, he grabbed my left arm and held me up off the ground. I was dazed, in severe pain, and couldn't move.

Vaati, using both of his hands, crushed my left arm, snapping it in a direction it certainly wasn't meant to be facing. I screamed in pain. It was immensely agonizing. He then stabbed me in the gut with his hand. I coughed up blood again, and he kicked me away from him. I fell helplessly into the snow. The blood pouring from my body was like red dye, coloring the snow around my collapsed body.

"Know your place, you pathetic human!" Vaati shouted at me. "A worthless human like you, cuts ME?! Despicable! It's so ludicrous, it makes me sick! Let this be a lesson to you, and die here!"

And with that, he turned and walked away. But after walking a few paces he stopped. He sighed greatly, and said, "You're such a fool, kid."

He turned around, and watched me as I tried to stand up. Using my sword as a crutch, I was able get back on my feet. Then, Vaati's face began to show that devilish grin again.

"But you're one tough bastard. I'll give you that much!"

Holding the hilt of my sword between my teeth, I unzipped my winter jacket with my right hand, and took it off. Vaati watched me with his blood-red eyes, which showed a lust for blood that was still unsatisfied. I threw my jacket at him, and he grabbed it and tossed it aside. The next thing he saw was me bringing my blade down through the air at him. He caught it between his fingers, and kicked me aside. I steadily raised myself up again, my body trembling and bleeding. I coughed up some more blood before I finally got back on my feet. I prepared for my next move.

"You still try to fight? Ha hahahahahahaha ha! What a ridiculous kid you are!" he shouted at me hysterically. His face was frozen with that devilish grin, which now had a psychotic twist to it.

He raised his left arm above his head, and created a large sphere of dark energy. It glowed with ominous violet aura.

"DIE!" he shouted as he thrust his arm down.

The sphere rocketed toward me, and upon impact, it exploded. The air was filled with mist from all the snow. It was very thick, and made it hard to see. Vaati stood where he was, cackling hysterically to himself again.

"You see? This is what happens when you lowly humans oppose us great Demons! Hope you've learned your lesson, brat-" he began.

Vaati stopped when he saw a gleam in the midst of the mist. The gleam was from the blade of my sword. I appeared from within the mist cloud, and before Vaati had a chance to react, I slit his throat.

He staggered back as blood spurted from his wound, gasping in pain. I didn't miss a beat as I thrust my sword through his gut, and then cleaved through his right side. He yelped in pain as his blood gushed out across the snow. I fell to my knees, exhausted from both my injuries and all the blood I had lost. Vaati was screaming in pain and rage.

"DAMN YOU! YOU SON OF A-" He was cut off by his windpipe breaking due to his wound. All his shouting didn't really help much either.

Before he fell to the ground, he said with his last breath, "Damn you... Al...phonse....” He hit the ground, lying flat on his stomach. He became quiet. At long last, Vaati was dead.

I was kneeling in the snow before Vaati's lifeless body. I was quiet for a while. I almost couldn't believe I had pulled it off. At last, I collapsed backwards with a huge sigh of relief.

- I won! I defeated Vaati! I actually did it!

I stood up, carrying my sword in my hand. I never once lost my grip on it. I began to limp away through the snow back toward Kakariko. My shattered left arm hung down my side. Blood was still dripping from my wounds. I wanted to hurry and return to Oz's clinic for medical attention. I was in serious need of it after the thrashing I'd taken during that fight.

I got several feet before a bright light began to shine from behind me. This light was colored an ominous violet. I grew stiff with fear, because I knew right away what that light meant. I slowly turned around, my expression in a state of shock and horror. I turned around to see Vaati standing up, completely enveloped by the ominous aura of his dark magic.

"Alphonse...." he rasped.

He began to shriek horribly as his body levitated into the air. The dark aura surrounded his body in a vortex, and when all had ceased, he fell to the ground on his feet. And what I saw next was the most frightening monster I'd ever seen in my life; Vaati's magic transformation.

He was enormous, and had the face of a repulsive pig. Atop his head here two large and fearsome horns, and his jaw was lined with excessively large, razor sharp teeth. His body was all black, his arms bulky and lined with a few spikes here and there, and his hands held two gigantic golden swords. Claws grew out from the ends of his fingers. His plated torso was large and had incredible girth, and the armor had sharp spikes that pointed outward. They appeared capable of puncturing a person's skull. His long tail had a spiked club at the end, and looked powerful enough to knock down a whole building. His legs were about the same as his arms, except his feet had hooves. Every step he took seemed to shake the earth. He uttered the fearsome roar I was already so familiar with. This monstrosity that stood before me was what allowed Vaati to destroy entire cities with ease. This transformation was the true power of Vaati's magic.

I stood motionless in the snow, frozen with fear. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't act. I couldn't do anything. I was afraid.

- What should I do? How can I possibly defeat this monster, especially in the condition I'm in now?

My heart pounded against my chest. My broken body shook with terror. I was cold and alone. I had nothing but the sword in my hand. And yet...

I thought back to the moment I parted with Rena. I remembered the warmth I felt in her embrace. I remembered Zelda and Saria, who were waiting back home. I remembered Naomi, the kind girl I'd just met.

- I want to see them again...

This thought raced through my mind. It chased away the clouds of fear that shook my body to its core.

- I know what I have to do.

I remembered Rena's words. She said she trusted me. She knew I could do this. And I knew it, too. I tightened my grip on my sword. I bent my knees, biting back the pain throbbing throughout my body. I was not done yet. This fight was far from over.

"I'm impressed, Alphonse. You really are something else.”​

I heard a mysterious and calm voice speak those words. I looked around, but I saw nobody. All of a sudden, a person appeared between me and Vaati. His back was to me, so I couldn't get a good look at his face. I noticed Vaati was frozen in fear, his eyes fixed on the man.

This mysterious person spoke once more and said, "That's enough Vaati. You've lost."

- What? This person knows Vaati?

"B-but... But-!" Vaati stuttered. He seemed to be very frightened of this person.

This person then said, very coldly, "You disappoint me, Vaati."

He then swung his right hand in a motion similar to a sword strike, and Vaati's body fell to pieces. Blood poured from his dismembered limbs like a flash flood. His final scream was blood-chilling and mortifying. This sight was unlike anything I've ever seen. This person had such terrifying power. I was truly afraid for my life at this point.

"Who... Who are you?!" I asked him uneasily.

The frightening man turned to face me. His eyes pierced my very soul as he spoke. "You may know me as the Demon King." he said.

My eyes grew wide with shock and a chill was sent down my spine. This person then spoke the words I was most afraid to hear at that moment:

"I am Malladus."​
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