Take The Cookie!

[pkfroce]

We go to the Cookiemon universe and I challenge you to a battle for THE poisonous cookie. I send my cookie ou, Cookiechu. You send yours out, cookiezard(the famous poisonous cookie wanted by everyone). You tell your Cookiezard to use Chocothrower, but it instead proceeds to flap its wings, turn into a Charizard, stomparound until it sees you, then yells, "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME!" He stomps on you, sets you on fire, and proceeds to carry you to Death Mountain where he kicks you off into the volcano. He reverts to cookie form, sees my 8 chocoalate chip badges, and I befriend him. I HAS THE GLORIOUS COOKIEZARD!

 

[Hylian_Monolith]

Of course I don't have enough badges. I play neother Pokemon nor Cookiemon.

This whoe time, I was wearing my fireshield earrings, so I did not die. The lava would've been lethal if not for the Gorons, which I befriended long ago. They save me. I tell them my story ,and take them to the Cookiemon universe. They go on a rampage, either killing, imprisoning, or mating w/the Cookiemon. Eventually, a supreme rock-cookie race reigns supreme, and the Cookizard is, of corse, long gone. I am old and wizened at this point, but I use a Revitalizing Potion and a few fairies to restore my youth and travel the Cookieron universe, seeking all fine treasures. Eventually I find It: The last true cookie in the Universe. I claim it in the name of my old loftwing. I HAVE THE COOKIE(and th alliance of the Cookierons!)

Did you know that originally "I have the Cookie" in this comment was spelled "I have to Cooie"? Now you do.

 

[Igos du Ikana]

I've been locked dormant inside of Hylian Monolith's mind waiting for the opportunity to control her. The time is nigh; I take full control of my host now I have the cookie AND complete control. I am the harbinger of your destiny.

 

[pkfroce]

IMPOSSIBLE, I have the true cookie. Cookizard IS the true cookie that everyon wants. It cannot be destroyed, therefore, it mated with a Cookitoise and made a Cookieturtle. With these water-based Cookiemon, I wiped out the entire Cookieron race. They then went and brought your wet body to the tower of winds and kicked you off. You never took the true cookie for I STILL HAVE IT.

It seems I have won this for your loftwing cannot save you because it is dead. To be sure, I dug its body out of the grave, and had Cookizard(still the true cookie which I have.) Burn its dead body o ashes. Then I also kicked its ashes off of the Tower of Winds.

 

[Hylian_Monolith]

Are you kidding me? Who needs a Loftwing-Roc's cape, y'all.
I fall slowly, still holding the not-so-true cookie, that is technically still the true cookie since you can't eat a Cookizard. My befuddled mind struggles with Igos du Ikana. As I stagger through the fields of Hyrule, Link mistakes me for a monster and shoots me wiht an Light Arrow. Igos du Ikaa is kicked out on his podex and I am free with a non-living cookie that I heartily enjoy...looking at.
Later on, I head to Death Montain to tell Gongoron the good news, but the I remember that you killed the Cookierons, and thusly the Gorons' last descendants. I wait there for you, surrounded by poisonous booby-traps and stroking my cookie.
And say what you will, I FOUND A NON-LIVING COOKIE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE ABOUT 4 COMMENTS AGO.
If there are two cookies, DEAL with it. There are two cookies, go get them both.

 

[Woyogoyo]

I beat you up, steal both cookies, eat one and fully digest it. There is now only one cookie. It`s probably stale by now. I HAVE THE STALE COOKIE!!!!!!!!

 

[Burden]

I grab the stale cookie and go hide in a 3rd world country

 

[Hylian_Monolith]

I g talk briefly with Hitler's grandson. Using my smooth talking skills and my sword(just a little bit) I can easily coax him to find and dominate all third-world countries. I come with him, and scour the countrysides for survivors. You are somehow among them. I whack you face with an anti-material rifle and take the cookie while you wonder why I didn't just shoot you.

I HAVE THE COOKIE!

ps. woyogoo is probably either dead or had a very good dinner of Cookiezard. It think it was the latter.

 

[pkfroce]

Yes, woyogoyo is dead. Cookiezard breathed fire inside of his stomach still undigested. Meanwhile, I set a Redead trap which is just a pitfall that leads to a room full of redeads. They use their paralyzing scream, freeze you, and I stroll down the set of stairs I made my pikmin build, put in earplugs to ignore the horrifying screams of the redeads, and calmly take the cookie out of your paralyzed hands. I then proceed to play the Song of Storms on my ocarina -doodoodooo doodoodoo doooooo doodoodoo doo doo doo- Causing it to rain INSIDE OF THE HOLE (zelda logic lolol), I then have my pikmin build a strong, rock wall to cover the hole. as it rains inside the hole, you drown. I HAVE THE STALE YET STILL POISONOUS COOKIE.

 

[Hylian_Monolith]

At the last second, my heroic companion that just happens to be able to warp everywhere(read: Midna) brings my Zora armor and shoves my helmet on my face just before I drown. Being immune to the scrams, she kills the Redeads and helps me bust open the wall with water bombs(hey, they're rocks). I come out with a thirst for vengeance--and stale but poisonous cookies. I fianlly get the last piece of that ******* mirror of Twilight, taunt Zant into following me into the Light World, and let him go pschyco on you. He dislikes sweet things, so he ignores the cookies. He kills you, I wait patiently until he does that and painstakignly kill him without harming the cookie, and I claim the cookie.
I HAVE THE COOKIE.

 

[Woyogoyo]

I come back from the dead, hit you with a big stick, and grab the cookie. I HAVE LE COOKIE!!!!

 

[Hylian_Monolith]

I find Navi and squeeze her in my half-consious delirium until she finally uses the neat fairy healing thing and LEAVES. Then while you are distracted oogling over the cookie in your hands, I use the same stick to bash your head in. Hey, whatever works. I pluck the cookie neatly from your lap.
I HAVE THE COOKIE!

Heh, why is this so fun?

 

[Woyogoyo]

I get up and bash you on the head with a big rock. I HAVE THE COOKIE!!!!!

 

[Akuhime-sama]

I am Meta Knight and hear-by FORCE you to give me your cookies. I HAVE THE COOKIE!

(this is a great game for me, considering my sig) xD

 

[Woyogoyo]

I bash you on the head with a wadle dee and take the cookie. I HAVE THE COOKIE!!!!