King of the Hill!

[Linknmike]

I push the moon so that its orbit is slightly changed, and a hundred billion years later, it crashes into the earth's crust, ripping out huge chunks of land. one of these chunks of land is the Hill, which I pull into my impenetrable fortress, an infinity away.

I claim the hill.

 

[guapo2003]

I throw a snake on you.

I claim the hill now!

 

[Linknmike]

I show you your incredibly lame reply, which sends you into shock, and I launch you out into the unforgiving vacuum.

I claim the hill.

 

[fireslayr]

I chuck a brick at you. I claim the hill.

 

[Hastier]

I summon a cannibal Taco that eats your head and humps your dead corpse's leg.
I claim the hill!

 

[Linknmike]

I plug you into GLaDOS's body, driving you batcrap insane.

I claim the hill.

 

[i-am-link]

i-am-link casts Meteo!
LinknMike is defeated!
i-am-link claims the hill!

 

[Cel-Shaded Deku]

People who post in color cannot claim the hill, therefore I get it by default.

I claim the hill.

 

[Trio the Punch]

I genetically splice a turtle, a frog, and a carrot into the most intelligent super villain the world has ever seen. He then proceeds to use his brain powers to fashion a massive army of robot Superman Prime 1,000,000's (the strongest variation of superman), robot Super Vegitos, and robot Milk and Cheeses with an unlimited supply of gin. The villain launches a strike upon you and your hill, unleashing a furious hellfire the likes of which the multiverse has never seen. You somehow win the battle, so I go up and push you over.

I claim the hill.

 

[guapo2003]

I didn't even take the time to read your long response because I got bored so I decided to claim the hill!

 

[Teron]

Your software is outdated and is not compatible with the hill.
The hill goes back to it's real owner, which is me.

 

[kokirion]

your computer crashes, luckily in the past I had a title deed on paper
I claim the hill!!

 

[Linknmike]

You all realize that the hill is still inside my gigantic space fortress, and I expose all of you to the vacuum.

I claim the hill.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

I move the hill to the bottom of the ocean. You flee. I'm a Zora, so I'm fine. In fact, the hill becomes a coral reef renowned for the ancient castle on top, and a Zora village soon springs up around it.

I claim the coral reef.

 

[Linknmike]

You realize that it's in an ocean inside my fortress, and I flush you and the water out, vaporizing the coral and castle as I do so.

I claim the hill.