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Come Up with the Weirdest Zelda Story

Joined
Oct 22, 2010
zelda explodes and link is sad. then ganondorf explodes and the great deku tree is sad.then, link explodes and... can you guess what happens next?
 

Shadsie

Sage of Tales
My pride and joy...

Weird Zelda fan fictions are my pride and joy, stock and trade.

I have actually written all of these plots. So, I'm setting it up like this: Weird plot - Title of story on my fanfiction dot net profile. http://www.fanfiction.net/u/6569/Shadsie

Weirdest Zelda Stories that Shadsie Has Actually Written:

Ganonodorf wins, but actually becomes a good leader for Hyrule - Balance

Ordon Village suffers plague and starvation, kills its own goats to survive, ensuring that Link gets to grow up - Slaughtering the Goat

Link dies, Ganondorf's spirit posessses zombie-fies his body. Trouble ensues. Not a comedy. - Sacred Flesh.

Wolf Link gets shot and skinned. - Wolfhide.

The Hero of Time makes friends with a deer. - The Animals Aged.

The Legend of Zelda as a sci-fi/Western. - The Great Desert.

The Legend of Zelda crossed over with a canon sci-fi/Western. - The Song Still Sung. (Crossover between Twilight Princess and the anime, Trigun. Only two chapters so far, unfinished and may remain so).

The Legend of Zelda as a Western via The Oregon Trail. - Westward!

Link is confused by rumors that he's gay. - Pretty.

Link, Shad and a stranger have a discussion about religion and classism. - Goatherd.

The Hero of Twilight must kill the Hero of Time. Again. - A Handful of Dust.

In two different eras/worlds, Link becomes a zombie and hijinks ensue. - The Zombie Link Chronicles.
 

MrLuigi

Theorist
Joined
Dec 15, 2010
It starts long ago, Link wakes up and finds out his has numerous tumors and breast cancer. He goes off to fight Ganon but goes into cardiac arrest before the final fight and is paralyzed. Ganondorf kills Link, Zelda appears. Zelda shoots Ganondorf but being the stud Ganondorf is he GRABS the arrows, throws it back at Zelda killing her. Ganondorf them does the chicken dance and goes to Saria's sleepover party. This where it gets interesting. Ganondorf steals the chandelier Saria has. The police come, Ganondorf takes her off and marries her. They have babies with green skin and green hair. One day his oldest becomes chief of police. His son is after him. Ganon flees to the Gerudo Fortress, he meets Dwight Schrute. They fend off the police. Ganon kills his son. Ganon calls Saria, she picks up. He explains the situation and breaks it off with her. Dwight goes off to Berlin with Ganondorf, that's where Ganon hid the chandelier.

Two ninjas pop out at their hideout, they fight them off. Ganon and Dwight start to shake hands. Ganon quickly dodges a flying poison dart, Dwight gets it in the back. He was in on it the whole time, but Ganondorf knew.
 
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Zelda is pregnant and Ganondorf is the father.

They both work together to get link killed by making him go through dungeons to "save" Hyrule.

And that's what Ocarina of Time is about.
 

insanity76

I don't suffer from it ..
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Location
Texas
(This story would occur on the Child Timeline between OoT and MM)

"They" invade Hyrule in an attempt to steal all the children. But the cows, led and inspired by Link's courage, thwart their plan and force them to leave Hyrule. This is why in Termina they're trying to steal the cows first before going for the children .. to eliminate the threat.
 

Djinn

and Tonic
Joined
Nov 29, 2010
Location
The Flying Mobile Opression fortress
Let's see...


Turns out that over time, owning the triforce of courage has an effect that causes the owner to gradually become more and more fearless until they reach a point where they are no longer afraid of anything. They gradually become insane thrill seekers completely blind to their own mortality or consequence of any type. The gods and great fairies know this but they thought to themselves "Meh, why not? He'll just get himself killed before he really looses it anyway." Little did they know that the legendary hero was a little too legendary for their own expectations.

Link starts out normal enough but over the course of his adventure he become more and more brave gladly jumping into any boss room willing to fight any and every creature/creation/abomination in his path just for the thrill of it. Every single hold in the woods he boldly jumps into just to see if there is treasure in it. Any platform over a bottomless pit he jumps across without a care in the world. Eventually the rush of running straight into a room full of moblins with nothing but a spoon and maniacal laughter foolishly facing anything only for the rush. Fighting hordes of monsters all at once eventually becomes is not nearly enough to satisfy his need for totally foolhardy excitement and is occasionally spotted riding on the back of a wild Gleeok with the reigns of his horse Epona tied to the center head while the other two heads are turned to Link trying to kill him with magical fire while simultaneously shooting fire arrows at any nearby kargarocks in the sky hoping that they will also turn and chase.

Eventually the people of Hyrule get together and decide that they, the dwindling monsters left alive, and the landscape itself cannot take any more of the nonsense. The Gorons and Zora were especially devastated since a month earlier Link had chopped Jabu Jabu into bait so he could attract multiple Morpheels to fight with with nothing more than a golf club while wearing the iron boots to slow him down underwater while refusing to wear a Zora Tunic. And Challenging Volvagia, and every Dodongo alive all at once shooting deku sticks from his bow as if they were arrows leaving Death Mountain in a complete and total ruin. The peoples got together and decided something had to be done so they partnered with the great fairies and planned on a way to end the madness. One afternoon while Link was riding around on a stolen Bulbo after painting a red target on his but and mooning Bulblin riders challenging the entire warband to a fight, two Hylians the villagers decided were expendable enough to attempt it, yelled to him that they had an even greater challenge for Link. Greater than any challenge he had faced and would scare even him to death to attempt. Obviously the triforce charged "enthusiast" could never pass a chance at that so he decided to follow them to their challenge.

Their challenge involved Link diving into a labyrinth made just for him. It was a series of rooms each with monsters, the further down he went the more monsters were present, more and more the monsters increased. The "savage" labyrinth was not enough for Link so the Great Fairies had another idea. That he first drink "fear juice" before moving any further to increase the challenge. Link gladly drank all of it in one swallow.

Turns out the fear juice was one of the most powerful Goron twice distilled bombfruit liquors known to man and was never meant to be consumed by anyone that does not have a stomach made of solid stone, literally. Anyone with human organs was never to drink it ever. Once Link was blind stinking drunk, he blacked out and the entire remaining Goron tribe leaped on his unconscious body and tied him up leaving him in a burlap sack. Which was then hung from a tree and whacked with sticks by all the villagers. They then decided to take the Master sword and bury it deep down within the basement of Hyrule castle never to be seen again. And the Triforce of Courage was taken and broken into pieces with hammers, each piece was locked in an individual treasure chest and hidden in totally random locations all around the countryside. When they collected peoples of Hyrule finally celebrated the end to the nightmare and peace restored they turned and noticed Dark armies of Ganondorf marching towards the castle. Turns out Link had broken the sage's seal on the sacred realm allowing Ganondorf the ability to escape one day before.......
 

zeldakid895

Zelda's Kid
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
In the final battle between Link and Ganondorf, Link dies and Ganondorf wins. However, all the ReDeads betray Ganondorf, screech at him at hug him to death. Now, ReDeads rule the world, but they also use Ganondorf's blood to revive Link.
 

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