What was the worst relationship you have had?

[Lozjam]

Well? What is the worst relationship you have been in? This could be relationships with friends, family, significant others, and even Dan!

I would start this thread off with a huge monologue but:

 

[Jirohnagi]

The LL, i hate that festing butt boil of a subsciption, i think i am finally free then some asswipe buys me a subscription. At this point i feel like i need to burn that section

 

[Mipha]

The LL, i hate that festing butt boil of a subsciption, i think i am finally free then some asswipe buys me a subscription. At this point i feel like i need to burn that section

Are you sure someone's buying it? I thought you said there was a glitch were it wouldn't disappear mines been like that too it should've expired a month ago

 

[Fraxinus]

I'm not sure I should even post this, and the only reason I am is because deep down, I hope the person sees this and knows that I still care about them and that I'm sorry I had to end things so abruptly; it was the only choice I had, and I had thought it would have been the easiest on them emotionally. This person does have friends here on ZD who I'm hoping will see this post and recognize who I'm talking about, and show it to them, but if not, that's okay.

This probably isn't 100% accurate. This is how I saw everything that happened, and the reason I had to cease all connection with them. In hindsight, based on how this person reacted, I'm pretty certain that the person thinks the reason was drastically different and is probably why they hate me so much for running away. I kind of hope this post will clear things up for this person, if their friends do decide to show it to them.

I'm taking a risk by posting this, as after things reached their climax, we both took an oath of sorts to not speak about each other here on ZD. But they breached their oath a few times, and since I've yet to do so, I'm going to take the risk and share my story.

Spoiler

There's actually no other way to put it but I was in a relationship that I didn't consent to. It was pretty much one-sided, in that the other person thought we were in a relationship, and I never actually realized this until late last year. But it didn't end there; it was an abusive relationship. This person took advantage of my passiveness all the time in order to fuel their fantasy that we were dating.

Sometime in August last year, tragedy allegedly struck their offline life, and I was there for them. I was their emotional support and I did everything I could despite our distance, to keep this person in a safe emotional state. But that's when things started getting weird. They used this tragic event as leverage over me, in that they could do/say anything they wanted to me--a lot of which were really weird sexual advances toward me--and I feared so much that I would push them into distress by speaking up my discomfort, that I just LET them harass me.

After awhile, I became really skeptical of this event and whether it really happened. In my concern for my friend, I had been looking in their local news listings for anything about what happened--because it was a pretty intense thing that happened that it would have been in the local news. After two or three weeks, still nothing. That was one of many red flags.

I started having my guard up more and more, and after the behavior got progressively worse, it grew unbearable for me, especially with the looming possibility that the event never happened, and this person quite literally fabricated this event for the opportunity to get me to act as their significant other in all of my support. The part that spooked me most, though, is that the circumstance of the event means that it was very thought out--at least a year in the making. And if that is the case, this person had the intentions of making this happen a year in advance, lying in wait until then to "activate" the tragedy to use.

At this point, the possibility of it all being a lie was too much for me, that I just stopped talking to this person. It was a ****ty and cowardly thing to do, but I couldn't just confront them and be like "DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?" because if it did, that would have been quite literally the worst thing to say to them. After I stopped talking to them, their texts to me started getting weirder, as almost an attempt to get me to reply in any manner. But a week or so after I had stopped talking to them, this person actually snapped. Like I was the thing keeping their mind in check, and now that I was more-or-less out of their grasp, they went completely off the deep end.

Like an abusive relationship, this person lost their mind because they no longer had control over me. They began harassing my friends and trying anything in their power to get me to respond. Which made it more apparent to me, that no matter how much I wanted to offer closure, that it was too late--and that even if my intentions were good, this person's intentions were not and if I caved in any manner, they would find a way to reel me back in. After a few days of this, the truth came out. That this person was never who they claimed to be and that every event--including the one I feared--was a lie.

A little additional context: during a conversation we had at some point after the initial "tragic event", they were helping me with job apps (though not really), and they asked me for the name of my town. I foolishly disclosed it, because believe it or not, I trusted this person. I trusted them so much. I thought maybe they needed my town name for something regarding the apps, but it didn't, and instead they began exploring my town on Google Maps and that really scared me.

With them knowing my town in their current mental state, I grew extremely paranoid. I was genuinely fearful that they were going to try to find me in real life and hurt me. During the month, they would constantly ask me if they could move in with me--and looking back, I'm not even sure if that was a playful jest anymore.

After awhile, this person began speaking ill of me on various sites. Again, I had trusted this person. I had told them so much about me, and about my personal life, about my terrible experiences, everything. They used all of it. All of it and more. They acted as the victim--and I'm sure in their mind, they were, and I sympathize--and started accusing me of abusing their trust, of all things. Which was all sorts of ironic, though I actually had not said anything about the events of this, because I still cared about them and didn't want to hurt them any more than I already did.

So while it was killing me inside, I let them continue to spread hybrid lies about me, while I sit in utter silence, hoping that maybe they'll notice that I have not said anything about them since the events, except to the ZD staff and my closest friends, and the former was only in fear of my own safety and the safety of others.

---
Though, I still think about this person a lot. And I still care. I think it's best for both them and myself that we no longer speak to each other, but they still deserve to know this. Because, it had occurred to me a few months ago that maybe their accusations toward me on the sites weren't entirely unfounded. If what they thought had happened was in any way different to what I thought happened--which are quite obviously both inaccurate in their own ways--that perhaps they thought the real reason I stopped communicating with them was because they thought I had found out that they weren't who they said they were. That I no longer liked them because maybe they thought I thought I couldn't be friends with the "man behind the curtain" because they were not really the wizard they claimed to be.

And the more I thought about this, the more things started to make sense to me, about what they did after I stopped talking to them. There was a certain point where someone from another site my friend was on joined ZD simply to talk ill of them and to spread the "truth" about their identity not being their online one. It was evident that he didn't like them, whatever his reasons were. Which, at this point, I had already heard about this person's fake identity from one of my friends who had heard it directly from them in a confession of sorts. But with knowledge of this guy who joined ZD, I think it's entirely possible that they thought this guy had approached me and told me about this and that was the reason why I stopped talking to them. That I no longer wanted anything to do with them because of their identity being different.

---
So, to the person who was once my friend, and quite possibly my abuser only in my perception of the events, if you read this, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. You know me, you know how I am, I hate speaking up if it risks hurting someone. I ran away. I ran away from you because I didn't want to hurt you, and in doing so I ended up hurting you. I want you to know that I never hated you and I hope you are doing okay, and that you have moved on. I think we both ended up with conflicting paranoia and that makes it impossible for us to interact again, but know I still care about you and I am still rooting for you from the sidelines.

This was worst relationship I've been in because of how it came to an end. Though, looking back, it might be the best possible outcome, and that kind of saddens me. We had good moments together, and while that's important, the sudden onslaught of the bad kind of forced me to leave and I think it caused us both psychological torment.

 

[Malia]

^I read that in full. Really sorry for all of it. I hope you've found peace since then, and at the very least, you've found some release in speaking about this via public forum.

xo

 

[Triforce King]

I'm not sure I should even post this, and the only reason I am is because deep down, I hope the person sees this and knows that I still care about them and that I'm sorry I had to end things so abruptly; it was the only choice I had, and I had thought it would have been the easiest on them emotionally. This person does have friends here on ZD who I'm hoping will see this post and recognize who I'm talking about, and show it to them, but if not, that's okay.

This probably isn't 100% accurate. This is how I saw everything that happened, and the reason I had to cease all connection with them. In hindsight, based on how this person reacted, I'm pretty certain that the person thinks the reason was drastically different and is probably why they hate me so much for running away. I kind of hope this post will clear things up for this person, if their friends do decide to show it to them.

I'm taking a risk by posting this, as after things reached their climax, we both took an oath of sorts to not speak about each other here on ZD. But they breached their oath a few times, and since I've yet to do so, I'm going to take the risk and share my story.

Spoiler

There's actually no other way to put it but I was in a relationship that I didn't consent to. It was pretty much one-sided, in that the other person thought we were in a relationship, and I never actually realized this until late last year. But it didn't end there; it was an abusive relationship. This person took advantage of my passiveness all the time in order to fuel their fantasy that we were dating.

Sometime in August last year, tragedy allegedly struck their offline life, and I was there for them. I was their emotional support and I did everything I could despite our distance, to keep this person in a safe emotional state. But that's when things started getting weird. They used this tragic event as leverage over me, in that they could do/say anything they wanted to me--a lot of which were really weird sexual advances toward me--and I feared so much that I would push them into distress by speaking up my discomfort, that I just LET them harass me.

After awhile, I became really skeptical of this event and whether it really happened. In my concern for my friend, I had been looking in their local news listings for anything about what happened--because it was a pretty intense thing that happened that it would have been in the local news. After two or three weeks, still nothing. That was one of many red flags.

I started having my guard up more and more, and after the behavior got progressively worse, it grew unbearable for me, especially with the looming possibility that the event never happened, and this person quite literally fabricated this event for the opportunity to get me to act as their significant other in all of my support. The part that spooked me most, though, is that the circumstance of the event means that it was very thought out--at least a year in the making. And if that is the case, this person had the intentions of making this happen a year in advance, lying in wait until then to "activate" the tragedy to use.

At this point, the possibility of it all being a lie was too much for me, that I just stopped talking to this person. It was a ****ty and cowardly thing to do, but I couldn't just confront them and be like "DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?" because if it did, that would have been quite literally the worst thing to say to them. After I stopped talking to them, their texts to me started getting weirder, as almost an attempt to get me to reply in any manner. But a week or so after I had stopped talking to them, this person actually snapped. Like I was the thing keeping their mind in check, and now that I was more-or-less out of their grasp, they went completely off the deep end.

Like an abusive relationship, this person lost their mind because they no longer had control over me. They began harassing my friends and trying anything in their power to get me to respond. Which made it more apparent to me, that no matter how much I wanted to offer closure, that it was too late--and that even if my intentions were good, this person's intentions were not and if I caved in any manner, they would find a way to reel me back in. After a few days of this, the truth came out. That this person was never who they claimed to be and that every event--including the one I feared--was a lie.

A little additional context: during a conversation we had at some point after the initial "tragic event", they were helping me with job apps (though not really), and they asked me for the name of my town. I foolishly disclosed it, because believe it or not, I trusted this person. I trusted them so much. I thought maybe they needed my town name for something regarding the apps, but it didn't, and instead they began exploring my town on Google Maps and that really scared me.

With them knowing my town in their current mental state, I grew extremely paranoid. I was genuinely fearful that they were going to try to find me in real life and hurt me. During the month, they would constantly ask me if they could move in with me--and looking back, I'm not even sure if that was a playful jest anymore.

After awhile, this person began speaking ill of me on various sites. Again, I had trusted this person. I had told them so much about me, and about my personal life, about my terrible experiences, everything. They used all of it. All of it and more. They acted as the victim--and I'm sure in their mind, they were, and I sympathize--and started accusing me of abusing their trust, of all things. Which was all sorts of ironic, though I actually had not said anything about the events of this, because I still cared about them and didn't want to hurt them any more than I already did.

So while it was killing me inside, I let them continue to spread hybrid lies about me, while I sit in utter silence, hoping that maybe they'll notice that I have not said anything about them since the events, except to the ZD staff and my closest friends, and the former was only in fear of my own safety and the safety of others.

---
Though, I still think about this person a lot. And I still care. I think it's best for both them and myself that we no longer speak to each other, but they still deserve to know this. Because, it had occurred to me a few months ago that maybe their accusations toward me on the sites weren't entirely unfounded. If what they thought had happened was in any way different to what I thought happened--which are quite obviously both inaccurate in their own ways--that perhaps they thought the real reason I stopped communicating with them was because they thought I had found out that they weren't who they said they were. That I no longer liked them because maybe they thought I thought I couldn't be friends with the "man behind the curtain" because they were not really the wizard they claimed to be.

And the more I thought about this, the more things started to make sense to me, about what they did after I stopped talking to them. There was a certain point where someone from another site my friend was on joined ZD simply to talk ill of them and to spread the "truth" about their identity not being their online one. It was evident that he didn't like them, whatever his reasons were. Which, at this point, I had already heard about this person's fake identity from one of my friends who had heard it directly from them in a confession of sorts. But with knowledge of this guy who joined ZD, I think it's entirely possible that they thought this guy had approached me and told me about this and that was the reason why I stopped talking to them. That I no longer wanted anything to do with them because of their identity being different.

---
So, to the person who was once my friend, and quite possibly my abuser only in my perception of the events, if you read this, I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. You know me, you know how I am, I hate speaking up if it risks hurting someone. I ran away. I ran away from you because I didn't want to hurt you, and in doing so I ended up hurting you. I want you to know that I never hated you and I hope you are doing okay, and that you have moved on. I think we both ended up with conflicting paranoia and that makes it impossible for us to interact again, but know I still care about you and I am still rooting for you from the sidelines.

This was worst relationship I've been in because of how it came to an end. Though, looking back, it might be the best possible outcome, and that kind of saddens me. We had good moments together, and while that's important, the sudden onslaught of the bad kind of forced me to leave and I think it caused us both psychological torment.

I'm sorry you have to go through that Satan, but like you said it's for the best that you two stay apart. I know it's hard right now for you, but I feel that someday you find someone who will truly love you, and not disrespect your boundaries, anyway just hang in there kiddo.

 

[DARK MASTER]

@Satan I know exactly who you are referring to, but also I’d like to add on several occasions this person would misrepresent stuff we’ve said to rile up our friends in order to fabricate conflict, which makes this person seem very manipulative, but out of a very stupid sense of emotional instability. Basically they felt it necessary to be a ******** asshole in order for them to keep friendship, which is dumb because focusing on petty insignificant bull**** detracts from their bigger picture. I agree you did the right thing because of how one-sided that friendship was. Though in the end I just feel pity lol.

 

[Dan]

I have a bad relationship with that Dan guy. Just the other day we were in a shop and noticed a couple of Sunny D girls with their Sunny D friends in their Sunny D world dancing around the store. I told Dan to drop-kick those fiends into the CD rack, he reused. Dan told me the best solution to rid these little bastards was to read them a haiku. I thought this was ******** so naturally we got into a fight ending up with us both being chucked out of the store and being told to go see a therapist. Yet they allow Sunny D girls in their store and I'm the one needing mental help? Hah.

 

[Vanessa28]

I never have been in an abusive or horrible relationship. But sometimes you just regret being friendly to some people. Because it's very obvious some people won't let you go and keep on contacting you even when you told them they should leave you alone and find someone their own age. But they are deaf and blind.

Spoiler

and still send you like many goddamn messages a day for years now.

 

[Jamie]

I never have been in an abusive or horrible relationship. But sometimes you just regret being friendly to some people. Because it's very obvious some people won't let you go and keep on contacting you even when you told them they should leave you alone and find someone their own age. But they are deaf and blind.

Spoiler

and still send you like many goddamn messages a day for years now.

VEEEEEEEEE

 

[Dan]

I never have been in an abusive or horrible relationship. But sometimes you just regret being friendly to some people. Because it's very obvious some people won't let you go and keep on contacting you even when you told them they should leave you alone and find someone their own age. But they are deaf and blind.

Spoiler

and still send you like many goddamn messages a day for years now.

VEEEEEEEEE

 

[DARK MASTER]

VEEEEEEEE!

 

[Beauts]

I think the very worst relationship I've been in or at least the most damaging to me was this guy let's call him S. So he was a friend of a friend and we met because we'd go see his band play and stuff. Eventually it became I suppose a friends with benefit thing although we actually only had sex once. Anyway we would talk all the time and for so long because of my mental state etc I couldn't spot what was in front of me. Basically he was using me. Oh but it's gets better:

Firstly a literal week after we slept together, he made out with my friend right in front of me. She was blindingly staggeringly drunk and he was not, put it that way. I remember that night strangely because he would kiss her and then literally break off to look at me and see how I was reacting. So to prove some kind of point I just acted like I totally didn't care even though I can admit it was hurtful. At that point if i had never seen or heard from him after the sex I literally wouldn't have cared but the fact he chose to do that hurt. And so I cut him out of my life for several months until randomly he apologised and for some dumb **** reason, we decided to be whatever the hell we even were again.

So S woukd do a number of things over the course of our 'relationship' which at the time I could not recognise was actually emotional abuse. It wasn't big things. It's not like he called me names outright or anything. But it was little put downs which you wouldn't even notice at first. But over time all those little comments built up and up. Then came my favourite part, the doing stuff wrong and making me blame myself. The fact that I can't think of a specific example is testament to how many times this happened. It was normal to me by this point with him. On a side note some other stuff was going on in my life at this point so bear in mind I was not coasting along on easy street anyway even without this bull****.

I literally can't even think why I was so attached to him . It got to the point where he was making me feel bad for going out and having fun with my friends , he wanted to know who I was talking to etc all the time . I never gave into that possessiveness, which he didn't like. Then came the conversation by text when he literally called me a slut and then in th same breath was saying how much I mean to him. I think this is around the moment I realised what was going on. I mean it only took me like almost a year to figure it out right??? Anyway. I kind of just let it plod along until one night I was lying awake thinking how **** my life is and then it hit me: most of the bad feelings about myself that I was dealing with all the time were due to his constant undermining of my self confidence. I remember my exact thought: why do I even talk to him? And literally on the spot, I deleted every message we'd ever sent each other, every picture, I blocked him on all social networks and never saw or spoke to him again. Best decision I ever made.

Recently he tried to add me back on snapchat, FYI and his request is sitting there being ignored because I am no longer the depressed, lonely and blinkered moron I once was. I am in a good relationship now and to be honest, I don't think I would appreciate it as much as I do without going through the above ****. I never thought I could be close to anybody ever again after all of that but I guess I'm really and truly over it.

 

[Misty]

Did anyone else find it really difficult to choose or am I just blessed with a string of terrible relationships with friends, family, and romantic interests?

I mean I spent like twenty minutes trying to choose and couldn't.

 

[Pen]

Did anyone else find it really difficult to choose or am I just blessed with a string of terrible relationships with friends, family, and romantic interests?

I mean I spent like twenty minutes trying to choose and couldn't.

I'm the other way around. I can't seem to think of any kind of relationship I've been part of that was bad to the point where it'd be worth mentioning here. lol