I don't want to go to work tomorrow even though that it is a short shift. I just never like going to work. I don't think it's because I'm lazy (although I am a lot of the time
) but because I don't want to deal with people... At all...
Look, I really like a
lot of people but there's a lot of people in my town who are just bitter. It's really hard to not feel uncomfortable with their monotone voices, and I hate it when they think there's a problem and are just really angry when anger just isn't necessary. People tell me "That's life" but I don't believe that. There are plenty of people who are kind to each other.
I also just hate not having fun, and I don't really have fun at work at all. I know that probably sounds immature, and it probably
is immature, but at least hear me out.
I think that it has
a lot everything to do with my depression. I'm better than I was a year ago, but I crave pleasure. When I'm not doing something that's at least making me a little happy, I don't want to do it. I think it's because I feel that during a lot of my life, I wasn't happy and maybe subconsciously (if that's even the right way to explain it) my mind wants me to try to do things to bring me some form of pleasure to make up for lost time from when every waking moment, there was something to worry about.
I also sometimes just don't want to deal with reality. I want to close my eyes, relax, and drift away into my music without interruptions. Not go to work.
Thinking of buying a scanner with it.
