Fear not Curmudgeon, playing well at PROPER football is only a small factor most players over here rarely worry about. Playing PROPER football is more about the chants, war cries and taking your shirt off and hugging other men, practice these three and you'll be a pro before you know it.I've apparently been signed up to play PROPER football on Sunday. I can't stress enough how far I am from even being in physical shape to step on the pitch, much less the fact that I haven't been on an organized squad since the 80s. Apparently some people on the other teams PLAYED PROFESSIONALLY IN EUROPE. My heart is going to explode.