Curmudgeon
default setting: sarcastic prick
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2012
- Gender
- grumpy
there's an entire years-old meme centered around anti-jokes
The Official ZD Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Batman
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2014
- Location
- United States
Curmudgeon
default setting: sarcastic prick
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2012
- Gender
- grumpy
Lenny's polka band had a gig at the local senior center during Oktoberfest. After the late night dance ended at 9:30pm, he drove home, his grandfather's accordion in the back seat.
After entering his house and watching T.V. for a a few hours, Lenny realized he had left the priceless instrument in the back seat of his unlocked car.
Breathless, he dashed back to his vehicle on the street and when he threw open the back seat door
After entering his house and watching T.V. for a a few hours, Lenny realized he had left the priceless instrument in the back seat of his unlocked car.
Breathless, he dashed back to his vehicle on the street and when he threw open the back seat door
he found two additional accordions.
Batman
Not all those who wander are lost...
I found out I was colorblind last week.
I was shocked. It really came out of the purple.
Fraxinus
chunky plant goop
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2014
- Location
- United States
What happens when you witness a ship wreck?
You let it Sink in
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Why was 3 afraid of 2
because he killed every-1
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What do you call a fish missing an eye?
a fsh
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What started WW3?
The Ripping of a Mattress Tag
You let it Sink in
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Why was 3 afraid of 2
because he killed every-1
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What do you call a fish missing an eye?
a fsh
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What started WW3?
The Ripping of a Mattress Tag
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't be coming.
Beauts
Rock and roll will never die
I remembered this classic just now, one of my favourites
What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?
Andddd
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel on his head?
Douglas
Andddd
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
Beauts
Rock and roll will never die
Mellow Ezlo
Spoony Bard
ion be like "holy **** i just lost an electron!"
another ion's all like "you sure bruh?"
then the first ion's just like "ya man, i'm positive!"
:kcool:
another ion's all like "you sure bruh?"
then the first ion's just like "ya man, i'm positive!"
:kcool:
Mellow Ezlo
Spoony Bard
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Mellow Ezlo
Spoony Bard
Got a few more here...
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
Her navel.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Wiped his ass.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
Halfway
Halfway
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister." Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
Batman
Not all those who wander are lost...
Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
The pot was calling the cattle back.
I...I'll show myself out.
I...I'll show myself out.