ok but this is exactly how my 9 year old sister plays and it drives me up the wall
she'll ask to play with me and every round she's like "ok you be link and I'll be zelda and we're dating, no fighting ok" then if I DO hit her even after telling her that I'm not playing that way she's like "NO you have to be nice!!!!!!!!!" or "we fought last time now it's MY turn to choose and we're dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and it's impossible to even try and play properly with her or she'll lose her **** about either that or me going too hard lmao
alternatively she'll want to play online and when we do she'll just t-bag the entire time to try and get the opponents to do it regardless of whether they're literally just beating her up
when she plays quickplay alone she literally just spam t-bags and gets killed over and over in hopes she'll find some friends
one time she did find a group and they just hung out and t-bagged for like 2 rounds before getting kicked for inactivity
she never saw em again so she watches their profile on the friend page and freaks out anytime they're playing smash so she can log on and look for them