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General Art Legends of Carabu: Attack of the Bulbins

Linkanon

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Alright, I'll edit it and use some of your tips! ^^

I'lll VM you about the schedule. :yes:
 

Linkanon

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I've been back, as a lot of you have seen. So, I've been thinking about it, and....

I'm gonna try to continue this series. I've even thought of a new character! ....Ok, not "thought of," exactly, but I have a new character! Also, my H key sucks. So I might mistype something. But Google Chrome normally corrects me! xD Anyways... ON TO THE NEW CHARACTER!!

Introducing........

Tanner Skysong!!

Age: 15
Race: Takamian
Weapon: Sword/Staff/Wand (all in one small, around 10.5 in. staff)
Powers (skills): Sword Skills, Magic
Title: Sage of Fire
Additional Info: Tanner becomes one part of the team in one of the future chapters.
 
Joined
Jun 3, 2011
When you decide to work on this again, be sure to go through and edit your previous chapters. As they currently are, they're difficult to read due to the spacing. I always go for one line of spacing between each paragraph.
 

Linkanon

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I'm open to all suggestions, but Rainy is the one I listen to most. No offense, all, but Rainy has been with me on this since the beginning.... But I'm still, you know, accepting suggestions and stuff from others! :)

(and okay, Lambda, I'll change the spacing up ;) )
 

Linkanon

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Here it is! Finally, the chapter you've all been waiting for.... ENJOY!! :D

LEGENDS OF CARABU: ATTACK OF THE BULBINS
CHAPTER 4:
THE RETURN OF ARIZ RAZEN

When the man pulled off his deep purple cloak, Joey gasped.

“In my name, I swear, I will kill them both… I swear on the name… of Ariz Raven!” said Ariz Raven.

"Ariz!" Joey yelled.

"Shhh!" Savannah whispered.

"Oops." Joey covered his mouth. But it was already too late.

Ariz craned his neck. "There! There are our targets! Bulbins... ATTACK!"

Joey and Savannah whipped out their weapons as the Bulbin army rushed them.

They fought and fought for what felt like hours, but was merely a matter of minutes.

"They're too strong!" Savannah yelled. She was still mad at Joey, but her anger was easing up.

"We need to retreat! We'll have to get to the antidote some other way!" Joey repiled loudly.

Joey and Savannah both looked at each other and nodded.

"1..." they started simultaneously.

"2..." they said.

"3!" Joey and Savannah both leaped back and ran through the cave in the wall of the Bulbin fortress.

"No!" Ariz Razen stood pointed at the hole in the wall. "Don't let them go, you fools! After them!" he screamed.

Joey and Savannah ran for their lives to the narrow end of the cave. They squeezed into the hole and crawled to the end of the tunnel.

When they emerged, they ran as fast as they could (not very fast, because they were so tired of running and crawling and running again) back to Joey's house, where they saw Zelda and Abigale, each lying on beds, their faces green and blank.

"We need to get back there and find the antidote." Joey said.

"No kidding, Sherlock." Savannah said.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it's no shi-" Joey started.

Savannah interrupted with, "Anyways!" She turned to Joey. "I know we need to go back, it's obvious. But how can we sneak in there? That Ariz Razen guy knows about the way in through the cave in the wall."

"Yeah, and he knows a lot more things." Joey sat on Abigale's bed and looked down at his feet.

"What do you mean?" Savannah asked.

Joey explained his whole adventure to Takami and Xeno. How he knows Ariz Razen, how he fought Ariz Razen, how Ariz Razen has magical abilities. "He can probably find us almost anywhere in that fortress, and-" Joey suddenly stopped and gasped softly.

"What is it?" Savannah asked.

"Joey!" Joey suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" Savannah asked again.

"Joey the Bulbin! He's a passive Bulbin. He hides out in the fortress with a few others, and he has a girlfriend named Savannah, and friends like Abigale and like some other friends of mine! He has the same life as me pretty much, only in a fortress hiding from fighting and he's a Bulbin!"

"Ok, I'm a little lost, but I think I get your point. Are you saying we follow them into the fortress?" Savannah said.

"Yeah! They haven't been caught yet, and I don't think even Ariz can find them. Should we do it?"

"Well...." Savannah questioned it in her head. "We can always try!"

Joey punched the air. "Let's go then!"

*********************************

Joey and Savannah had made it to the Bulbin fortress unharmed (apparently the Bulbins hadn't followed them out of the fortress, since apparently they can't fit through small tunnels), and they were circling it looking for Joey and his Bulbin friends. Eventually, they found a small hole big enough to just barely look through in the wall. Joey peered through.

Inside, he saw a group of Bulbins huddled in a circle around a tiny fire, just big enough to put off a small amount of heat, which wasn't really that great, because it was freezing outside.

"Savannah! That's them!" Joey whispered. "Joey! Hey, Joey!"

A Bulbin who was very distinguished from the others turned around.

"It's me! Joey!" Joey (the human) whispered. Joey (the Bulbin) gasped. "Hey, we need some help. Can you come out and show us how to get inside? I'm with my girlfriend (you know, Savannah), and our friends need an antidote that should be in the fortress. Think you can help us out?"

Joey the Bulbin nodded, and quickly explained to his Bulbin friends about their human counterparts, then came outside to show Joey and Savannah the humans inside the fortress.

When inside, Joey the Bulbin introduced Joey and Savannah the humans to their Bulbin counterparts. Joey could now see how distinguished these Bulbins looked from others of their kind.

"Ok, so we need an antidote to the poison on the army's arrows." Joey said when everyone was back around the fire. "Does anyone know where the antidote is? What it looks like? Anything about it? Cause we need at least some kind of lead."

Everyone shook their heads except for the Bulbin Abigale. She spoke up. "I've heard about it. I think it's in the dungeon somewhere. It's pretty empty in there. We'd know. It should be easy to find."

"Alright. That's the most we've got. Does anyone know where the dungeon is?" Joey asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Ok! Then let's head out!" Joey leaped up. "Lead the way, guys!"

The Bulbins led Joey and Savannah around the fortress, avoiding guards and traps left for the rebel Bulbins by Ariz. They ended up at a metal grate. The Bulbins slowly lifted it up to reveal a dark staircase leading down into the dungeon.

"Well... I guess this is it, guys. And girls." Joey the human said as he looked into the darkness.

"Yep. That's the way into the dungeon." Joey the Bulbin said.

"Alright. Let's go then." And they walked into the darkness together.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

So what'd you guys think of the first chapter in a few months? As you probably could tell, I've added a lot more detail to what I'm explaining. xD Leave comments with suggestions, typos, and any other things you'd like to comment about this chapter/series! The next chapter should be up soon! ;)

~Linkanon: Zora Ninja~ :zora: o.o
 

Raindrop14

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Hey, this certainly has improved! :D You could do with a little more detail though, to get the readers engaged. Like, when they got to the dungeon;

Joey and the rest of the gang arrived at the dark and grim dungeon, with and evil omen written all over the walls. Joey gulped, and pulled his shirt foreward, turning to the rest of them, to recieve a nod. He turned back to the dark entrance, where he knew doom lay, but so did the antidote to cure his friends. Joey made his decision and went in with the rest of them, to go down into the dark place, and possibly not return.

You know, give emotion to the characters, what they're thinking at the moment, and what the area generally looks like. ;) Great job so far though, and it's a very intriguing story! ^^
 

Linkanon

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thanks! ^^ i'll add a bit more detail though ;)

Hey, I wanna talk about a schedule for this. I was thinking something along the lines of this:

Sunday: New Chapter of LoC

Monday: Break/Preview of New Chapter of Other Fan-Fic If One Exists

Tuesday: New Chapter of Other Fan-Fic If One Exists

Wednesday: Preview of New Chapter of LoC

Thursday: New Chapter of LoC

Friday: Not Sure Yet, But Something Special! ;)

Saturday: Preview of New Chapter of LoC

If you guys have any suggestions, feel free to comment them! :)

~Linkanon: Zora Ninja :zora: o.o~
 
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Linkanon

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im thinking for fridays i draw something relating to loc and scan/upload it.... what do you think? :)

oh yeah i just realized i owe you guys a chapter today if we're going through with the schedule! xD i guess ill do it now, even though im kinda fresh outta ideas. :/ well, here goes nothin'! xD

WARNING: MAY COMPLETELY SUCK.

CHAPTER 5: PART 1:
TANNER SKYSONG

Everyone was breathing softly as they slowly inched their way into the dungeon. The grate was back over the passage. The dark staircase went deep into the earth. The staircase winded down, down, down....

As the group neared the bottom of the staircase, a faint light started to appear and brighten as they got deeper. At the bottom of the staircase, there was a large room with broken bars over half-demolished holes, that seemed to act as jail cells at one point in time. There was also a table along one wall, about 3 feet long, with a lit candle on top of it. And in front of it, sitting in a chair... was a man. Or a boy. He looked to be about 14 or 15. He wore old, torn clothes that looked a few years old.

He suddenly turned around, and the gang saw his facial features. He had stubble all over his chin, and he had bright blue eyes and long golden hair. "Who are you?!" he asked in a worried yet somewhat forceful voice.

The gand backed up and held their hands out. "Woah! We're just here to grab something!" Joey the human said. "We need an antidote to a poison. Our friends got hit with arrows from the Bulbin army, and they're really sick and passed out."

The boy considered this in his head, then slowly nodded. "I know the antidote you speak of, and I have it." The group cheered and hi-fived each other. "First, I should introduce myself; I'm Tanner. Tanner Skysong. And second of all, who are you all?"

The Bulbins of the group stayed sort of hidden by Joey and Savannah the humans. "I'm Joey. I'm from Carabu." Joey said. Savannah added, "And I'm Savannah, from Carabu, too. I'm Joey's... girlfriend." Joey the human's eyes widened. Savannah turned, and they both smiled at each other.

The Bulbins finally showed themselves, and introduced themselves. Tanner Skysong was first shocked when he saw the four Bulbins, but after he heard their story, he knew they were passive.

"Ok. Third, I'll give you the antidote." The group cheered once more. "But, I have a condition." Tanner added. "I'd like you to drive out the Bulbin army from this fortress."

Joey the human felt anger rising in his chest. "Yeah, like we hadn't already been trying! Are you kidding, dude?! Do you even know who's leading them?! Ariz freaking Razen! You may not know him, but he's freakin' trouble, and I barely beat him once. He's probably way more powerful now, and he has that whole army at his command!"

"I realize that, but if you want to save your friends, you'll try." Tanner appeared to be a pretty good bargainer.

Joey the human crossed his arms. "Fine. We'll stop the Bulbin army. And get the antidote. Why do you want them out if you're down here, though?"

Tanner sighed. "I used to own this fortress. But they came and forced me into the dungeon and left me here to die. Luckily, I brought a food supply to last me years. I've been here for months."

Joey the human sighed, too. "Alright, alright, fine, we'll do it. Everyone stay here. Savannah and I will go up."

"No." Joey the Bulbin spoke up. "No, we want to fight too." The rest of the Bulbins slowly nodded in agreement. "We may not look like much, but we were taught how to fight before we ran away from the rest of the army. We have to help fight. Even if we die trying, we'll die knowing we were doing something right."

Joey the human nodded. "Then it's settled, everyone. Let's do this!"

And they grabbed weapons, and ascended the dark staircase to confront their inevitable fate.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

How'd you like part 1 of a special series-part-thingy finale?? :D Part 2 should be up within the next few days, guys. We're getting new furniture Wednesday, so I might be a little late on things, 'kay? ;) Cya guys later! XD

~Linkanon: Zora Ninja :zora: o.o ~

EDIT: This took me HOURS cause I had a headache, I was talking to my friend Allison in Missouri, and I was freakin' out of ideas, but I did it for you guys who read this. XD I need sleep. o_o xP Cya guys later! ;)

(i think i worked on that for the past 2-3 hours.... holy ****. o_o)

**holy sh*t
 
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Raindrop14

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Hey, this was certainly more discriptive than your previous one, I'm proud of you. ;) For some reason that Tanner guy is my favorite character. :D Keep it going!
 

Linkanon

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i thought it was terrible cause i was freakin' brain dead that night XD i guess ill put up the last half tomorrow or thursday :)
 

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