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Link&Midna

Link&Midna

K-Dawg
Joined
Apr 16, 2021
Lol, I was about to say that had to be it.
I'm getting em too, apparently ignoring them gave me TMJ in a convoluted way so now my teeth are kind of whittling away until I get jaw surgery. Which I've put off arranging for the last year, I should probably do that huh.
 
Prince Sidon

Prince Sidon

Sage of Water
Joined
Apr 5, 2024
Location
Zora's Domain
Gender
Male
MightyMario said:

Chapter 1​

  • (The film begins with Red running through the forest carrying a fake egg)
  • Red: (panting) Okay. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Come on, let's go. Let's go, buddy. Come on, come on, we gotta move, we gotta move. (He goes through a log and then falls down a cliff. He tries to fly.) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! (He grunts as he starts falling.) No, no, no, no, no! (He grabs the fake egg.) Hey, hey, gotcha! (He swings on a vine. A snake gets caught on the vine.) (grunts) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! (He and the snake scream at each other.) I don't like it! I don't like it! (He drops the fake egg, falls down a tree, and hits branches on the way down.) Beak! Wing! Tail! Ribs! Giblets! (He grabs the egg. A tree branch flings him up.) I'm flying! Nope, still can't fly. (He falls in water.) (burbling) I cannot believe this. Breathe, breathe. (He grabs fake egg, goes onto land and pulls a fish-like thing of himself.) Bottom feeder. (He goes up the treehouse.) Up and over! (He knocks then puts on a clown costume.) Ta-da! (A horn toots are heard in the background.)
  • Timothy: (shrieking)
  • Red: No, no, no, no. Look. It's okay. I'm just a clown.
  • Timothy: (sobbing)
  • Red: Oh, boy. That's a loud...loud...You're very scared of me. Here, come here.
  • Timothy: (shrieking)
  • Red: Nope. Okay. Nope. Never mind. (He tries to hand Timothy the fake egg.) Happy hatchday!
  • Edward: Oh! Hi, pal. You must be so disappointed in yourself for being this late.
  • Red: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I'm not late, look at the time. See, the order said before noon.
  • (The clock moves to noon.)
  • Edward: Okay, now you're late.
  • Red: What?
  • Edward: Where have you been?
  • Red: It's funny you ask. (A clown nose falls off of his beak.) You see I was...
  • Edward: You missed the party. (He points at the fake egg.) What is that?
  • Red: Oh, that. Uh, yeah. Yes, see, I fell on the box. (He opens the fake egg to reveal a birthday cake and a squirrel, who is eating the cake. Edward picks up the squirrel.) Oh, the squirrel? That's on us. (Edward throws the squirrel to the side.) You know, I tried to keep my body between the ground and the box, but, you know, I think I got a little bruise. (He shows Timothy his butt, which is missing a few feathers.) See anything back there?
  • Timothy: Ugh.
  • Edward: Hear that, honey? The clown we paid to be here an hour ago fell on our son's hatchday cake. That's why our son's hatchday party is ruined!
  • Red: Oh!
  • Edward: And the next you mess up, don't tell me a story, just take responsibility.
  • Red: Hey, man, it wasn't a story.
  • Edward: (mocking Red) I'm a screw-up that woke up late and fell on the thing you paid for! (Timothy mimics along with him.)
  • Red: It wasn't a story. I almost drowned.
  • Edward: "I'm really bad at my job and I'm late..." Why don't we just settle this out and say the cake's on you. (He points at Red.)
  • Timothy: You.
  • Red: I'm sorry, it's on me?
  • Edward: Well, who else would it be on?
  • Red: (laughs then sighs. He takes off his clown costume as he talks.) Well, you know, I... I'm not sure you're gonna like this, um, but since you asked. Rather than being on me, as you suggested, this cake IS ON YOU! (He slams the cake on Edward's face.) Ha! So, you wanna hear a story? (He dresses Edward in the clown costume as he talks.) I run my butt off, literally, mind you, to get the "gluten-free cake." What the heck is gluten? I mean, does gluten even exist?
  • Eva: (trembling) Who are you?
  • Edward: Get outta here!
  • Red: Already? But you're the only one that's had cake. (He takes some cake off Edward's face.)
  • Edward: What...
  • Red: (eats some of the cake that he grabbed.) Mmm. Oh, that's good stuff. Mmm. Anybody want to eat some cake off their dad or husband?
  • Timothy: Uh...
  • Red: Who needs plates when you got this guy's face, right? (He laughs and goes as if to leave, then comes back.) Oh, oh, mmm! Oh, wait. I almost forgot. You know, I'm supposed to do a quick customer satisfaction survey before I, (whistles), split, okay? So, on a scale of one to three stars, what would say about my performance? (He starts to walk back.) And don't forget, the squirrel was... (distorted) free... (He trips on squirrel as he falls backwards right to a real egg in a nest.) Sorry about this!
  • Edward: (distorted) No!
  • Red: (distorted) My bad.
  • (Red is stopped inches away from the egg by Edward, whose tail is being held by Eva, whose tail is being held by Timothy. He notices a piece of cake on the floor, and lets go to eat it. Everyone else then falls over.)
  • Red: Congratulations!
  • Edward: Huh?
  • Eva: Oh!
  • Red: (The egg is now broken, and he is upside down in it.) It's a boy!
  • (A series of flashbacks begins as Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" play in the background. Red is standing in line. When the bird behind him tries to move up, he moves that bird back. He reads a comic book. A mime bird comes by, and he punches him. He is younger and is making a sculpture.)
  • Young Bird: Hey, Eyebrows. (She laughs as she and the young birds whispered to each other. They have cut paper into eyebrow shapes.) Eyebrows!
  • Four Young Birds: Eyebrows! (Red looks angry, then sad.)
  • (Red's house shakes and a pot falls on Red, who is sleeping. He goes out to see a small bird kicking a ball toward his house. He kicks the small bird into the ocean. He is watching a play. A bird sneezes three times onto his popcorn. He then shoves the popcorn on his face. A doctor taps his leg. He punches the doctor. A girl bird waves, then winks. He winks back. She blows a kiss. He and another bird blow a kiss back. They move to go to her, and the other bird steps on Red. As he gets his head out of his lunchbox, he goes away with the girl bird. He indignantly kicks, but trips himself. An egg is in lost-and-found. It hatches, revealing an angry-looking Red. The series of flashbacks ends as the music ends.)WH
Click to expand...
what the heck?
 
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