I genetically alter a thoudand hampsters to be better soldgers than most people in the army and they chase you into the abyss. I claim the hill with an army of loyal super hampsters by my side.
I have a Kame Hame Ha resistant shield but I back up and hide behind the trees so you think I'm gone. When you fall asleep I release a large snake to eat you whole. I claim the hill.
I weaken you by creeping you out with my extreme obsession with the King of Evil. I finish you off from there and then claim the hill. I claim the hill.