How strict were your parents?

[Dan]

Recently I was taking a pleasant stroll down the bread isle at my local supermarket. I often walk around the isle for the sole purpose of smelling that fantastic fresh on the shelf bread smell. Whilst I was taking a huff of the good stuff a rather large and elderly lady on a mobility scooter knocked into me sending my delighted supple teenage body crashing to the floor. I must have been knocked out cold for a few seconds as when I opened my eyes I saw this rather plump women snogging bi-curiosity into me.
Naturally I reached for my phone and started writing out this hazy experience which got me thinking just how strict parents can be.

Were your parents ever strict with you? What is the worse punishment a child should receive from a parent? My Grandfather was always a old fashion belt whip kind of guy. There was never any funny business to be had when I went to his house, you either cleaned out the drain pipes and received 50p for your work or else faced the belt.

 

[Salem]

I'm not sure how strict, but they never allowed me to stay overnight someplace else unless it's grandma's house, also my parents NEVER beat me.

 

[Dio]

I dont think my parents were particularly strict. I'd rub my sisters toothbrush in soap occasionally which they would shout at me for, but it was worth it. My dad would give out a smacked bottom every once in a while for disobeying him when I was small. I am grateful for the smacked bottoms though as they taught me a valuable lesson, if someone does something you dont like...hit 'em and it will sort them out.

I was allowed out to play but I preferred the indoors anyway. I started to drink with permission from my parents at 16. My dad would have allowed me to sooner but mummy didn't want me to damage my developing liver. They did let me smoke a pipe at the age of 4 though.

 

[Moonstone]

My parents were a little strict, my dad moreso than my mom. The worst punishment I ever had was having my cellphone taken away for an entire month, or my allowance docked. Most of my punishments were being sent to my room. Once, my dad got mad that I was up at 4am playing Zelda on a school day, and shut the game off before I could save. It was Majora's Mask so I lost a ton of effort that I had put in.

My parents never hit me. They never coddled me either. I got gifts on my birthday and Christmas, but otherwise I had to earn good grades or do my chores in order to make money and buy my own things, even from a young age. But the things I bought I was allowed to have, I don't think my parents every told me I couldn't buy a game that I earned with my own money, regardless of the age recommendation on the box.

 

[Spiritual Mask Salesman]

My stepparents let me do anything as long as I wasn't around them or bothering them.

 

[snakeoiltanker]

My parents, I always thought were strict, until learning later of what my older brother went through. I think they got nowhere with him and figured they would try something different with me. Guess that didn't work either.

My mom would always get pissed off at me and just say "wait till your dad gets home" which ment my dad would have to come home and whip my ass with a wooden paddle not really even knowing that he agreed why. Poor guy. He always felt so bad for doing it. I remember him saying "okay I'm gonna smack my hand three times, and I need you to scream and cry with each hit" HaHa. I never thought about that till now... Big Bob was awesome. He would ground me too my room...where my TV nes and snes was. Yeah like that sucked. Oh man. Okay. No my parents wernt strict. Just compared to some of my friends parents.

 

[kodachrome]

Not terribly. Mostly just expectations. My parents have always, always emphasized academics, from day one; doing well in school was a non-negotiable. B's were fine if you honestly tried your hardest, but they were absolutely not OK if you weren't really trying. My dad also insisted on all three of us doing sports and playing an instrument, but unfortunately for him, nobody was good at or liked either. My older sister suffered through the bassoon and swim team until the end of high school, but both my brother and I quit by middle school. (My family half-jokes that full credit goes to me for whittling my dad down, and my younger brother just reaped the fruits of my labor.)

As far as everything else, they were easy. None of us were troublemakers or ill-behaved or anything, so trust was a given--no curfews or rules or anything. There was no real reason to be strict. Nothing really ever happened anyway; my parents would just yell, and that would be it.

 

[Vanessa28]

When I was a kid, I was allowed to play outside and get inside at a specific time. Also, going to bed at specific times. I thought that was reasonable. It was no different than the other kids at the time. My father was extremely abusive and I got beat up by him several time. To avoid being beat up, I did as they said. Not that it helped me much because I got beat up anyway for the smallest things.

 

[DARK MASTER]

When I was a kid, I was allowed to play outside and get inside at a specific time. Also, going to bed at specific times. I thought that was reasonable. It was no different than the other kids at the time. My father was extremely abusive and I got beat up by him several time. To avoid being beat up, I did as they said. Not that it helped me much because I got beat up anyway for the smallest things.

I'm sorry. I hope that is illegal now.

 

[Malia]

Pretty strict in some ways, pretty loose in others.

In regards to strictness, I grew up in a culture where physically harming a child is considered a normal form of discipline. So this was regular for me growing up; taking a beating from a fist or various objects. Now that I'm older, I know much better than this form of abuse is unacceptable and, should I have kids, I will prob never hit them, but when it was happening I knew that it was A Thing for a lot of other people--friends, class mates, other kids at church, you name it--so I genuinely thought this was okay.

As for whether or not it was effective--not really since I behaved so long as my parents were watching me. All it really taught me was to be good when they were looking, rather than the underlying message of whatever it is they were trying to teach me between right and wrong.

It was a bit divided in regards to gender roles. My Mother was insistent that we behave like traditional "girls" ie wear dresses, cook, clean, be polite, be demure, that sorta thing. Whereas my Father was a bit more liberal in that he allowed me to take up boxing, participate in rugby, insisted I do yard work, that sorta thing (mind, part of that was outta necessity because my brothers are lazy ****s).

They were both pretty strict on prayers/religion/attending church.

In ways they were looser, because the above was pretty conservative, they were actually really good for letting me form my own political opinions, which was absolutely unheard of for a female where I grew up. Further, they let me pick out all my own subjects for school (I had a lot of friends whose parents just did that for them as thy pretty much dictated their career path and education). I was also fine to wear what I wanted (remember, conservative culture so a lot of parents made their daughters dress so they were covered from head to toe). I should acknowledge, though, that part of this leniency came from the fact I was headstrong to start with, so there were some things they tried to curb me with, but when I flat-out refused to comply, they eventually leave me be.

It's a bit of a mixed bag of individualism and collectivism, and liberal vs. conservative, gender roles vs. doing what was necessary. I was luckier than most of my friends, I know this, though I am no fool as I acknowledge that making a comparison doesn't necessarily make one's situation good. It can make it less ****ty. In my case, I think it's a mix of both being in a less ****ty situation, and being genuinely lucky with some of the more liberal aspects of my growing up. As for the bad/super-strict stuff. Well. At the very least I know I do not wish this on anyone, let alone my own unborn child since I know it wasn't good for me. It's not something I wish to repeat or perpetuate for the future of society.

 

[InsomniacAttack]

Strict in some ways, not very in others. My Mom has always been a lot more strict than my Dad. My Dad always told me that he only had three rules for me and as long as I followed these rules, we were cool.
1. NEVER steal anything from anyone or anyplace, ever.
2. NEVER drink and drive or get in a car with a drunk or buzzed driver.
3. ALWAYS use a rubber.
He said if I followed these rules, I could do whatever I wanted within reason.

My parents never use physical punishment. They believed that talking about what I did wrong or simply revoking a privilege was enough punishment.
Right now, they're less strict than ever. My Mom still cares more than my Dad, who asks me about my sex life and will sometimes send a beer my way every once and a while. I love them both a lot and think they did a very good job raising me correctly.