I eat other cookies and become so fat that I become massive enough to create a noticeable gravitational force and the cookie starts orbiting me when I walk by it. I don't notice the cookie orbiting me but I have it!
But you rented the Poltergust from a vacuum shop that I own and you had to return it before you can empty it because the late fee is already too high.
I have the Poltergust and the cookie.
I beat you in the @ss with a hammer until you die from getting beaten in the @ss with a hammer. (Just like Abraham Lincoln)
I claim the hill.
While you are all distracted from laughing at me for claiming the hill in the claim the cookie thread I steal the cookie and beat you all in the @ss...
You get mauled by a bear. You don't survive but the cookie does.
I claim the cookie and protect it by hiding on a moon. NOTE: I said a moon not the Moon. There are so many moons out there that you'll be searching forever!
Another thing, the cookie is poisioned so you can't eat it. Read the origional post.
After you die I sergically remove the chewed up cookie from you. I claim the cookie.
I use hacks to replace all of the lightbulbs in your house with Iorn Knuckles. Since no one can survive while that many Iorn Knuckles are attacking you die.
I sneak into your house to claim the cookie when the Iorn Knuckles fall asleep.
The cookie reaches it's expiration date and turns into a zombie cookie. The zombie cookie kills everyone but me then I de-zombify it.
I claim the cookie.
I distract you with my amazing abbility to juggle 37 bowling balls at the same time while my pet ninja-tiger sneaks up behind you to enject poison into your neck.
My ninja-tiger and I take the cookie.
*Presents "Get out of losing the game free" card* I don't lose the game and I make you lose the game. When you lose the game your head explodes.
I claim the cookie.