Game Thread Round Robin Roleplay

[MightyMario]

A nightclub filled with aliens?! This was almost like a certain place from a certain movie that was really popular back before Cayde was born.

Maxie, Cayde, and Zerris cautiously made their into the nightclub and sat down at a booth, watching dancing aliens and alien singers performing in an language that sounded very similar to English.

An alien with a insectoid head noticed them and went to receive their orders.

“Welcome to the Base! May I get your orders?” they said, dropping drool from their mandibles.

“Oh, uh, water, please.” Zerris said, still reeling from the day’s events.

Maxie ordered a beer, and Cayde screamed in anguish, catching the aliens’ attentions.

 

[OGSniper]

All but one of the aliens looked away after they saw it was only a kid screaming. The 7-foot alien, nicknamed Slinger for what he did back in '91, just stared. Not at the frightened kid, but at the fellow who just received his beer.

Slinger almost didn't believe it.

He not only recognized but knew who that scoundrel was. He had a personal score to settle.

As Slinger started to discreetly walk to towards his next victim, Maxie, who just now remembering who the alien was by his ugly face, slowly started to pull his trusty old sidearm out. Just then, someone else across the room, fired a few rounds...

 

[AwdryFan1997]

All but one of the aliens looked away after they saw it was only a kid screaming. The 7-foot alien, nicknamed Slinger for what he did back in '91, just stared. Not at the frightened kid, but at the fellow who just received his beer.

Slinger almost didn't believe it.

He not only recognized but knew who that scoundrel was. He had a personal score to settle.

As Slinger started to discreetly walk to towards his next victim, Maxie, who just now remembering who the alien was by his ugly face, slowly started to pull his trusty old sidearm out. Just then, someone else across the room, fired a few rounds...

The lasers illuminated the entire room as they burned holes through Cayde's table. The gunman continued firing until there were no rounds left in his blaster. The whole nightclub was silent. Maxie grimaced as he realized he couldn't take Slinger out when everyone was watching. The gunman, a little blue fellow with three heads (only two of which had eyes and only one of which had a mouth) put away his weapon. Cayde stared at the smoldering hole, where a horrifying centipede-like creature (the reason why she'd screamed earlier) had been just seconds before.

"My apologies, madam," the blue man said, before turning to the entire nightclub. "Peoples of the universe, may I have your undivided attention. This establishment has been infested by Venomous Galactipedes. Per Proclamation protocol, you are ordered to remain on the premises until authorities can arrive to decontaminate the building and interview all witnesses. Please avoid any consumables, and try to remain at least a foot apart away from your fellow guests."

Cayde looked at Zerris. Both were completely confused by all of this. Maxie leaned over to try and explain. "Some douchebag tried slipping us a Galactipede, one of the deadliest and most illegal bugs in the known universe. And I think I know who."

Maxie, Cayde and Zerris all stood up, as directed by the employees of the nightclub. A human gentleman in formal military attire stepped forward. "On behalf of the Bill Filer Institute, I would like to apologize for this inconvenience. The Institute will cooperate fully with extraterrestrial authorities, and will provide any aid necessary to displaced aliens to make it home safely." The gentleman then started conversing with a man who was dressed in a tank top and a kilt unironically. Zerris looked over and saw that Maxie had gone.

"Cayde, where's your, uh, brother?"

Maxie had slipped off in pursuit of Slinger. This journey led him to the men's restroom, where a man who probably wasn't born purple was lying on the ground being very much not alive. Slinger looked up from his victim to see Maxie. "Hyme! You were stupid enough to fall into my trap! You've just been framed for bringing in the Venomous Galactipedes, you moron!" Without waiting for a response, Slinger beamed away in a flash of light. Armed soldiers then stormed into the room, and pointed their guns at Maxie.

"Well, fellas... looks like we got 'im..."

 

[Guinea]

Alfonso reached the nightclub, out of breath and very much exhausted. He ducked behind the side of the building. Munchie poked his head out and squeeked.

"Yeah, sounded kinda bad in there. Luckily I know of a secret back intrance. Remember that guy who sold me the lemons? His name is Slinger. He said to push in one of these bricks..."

Alfonso felt around the wall, pushing on the bricks until one of them clicked. A small door opened further down the wall. He crouched and made his way into... the bathroom? Yep, one of the stalls. He peeked through the crack of the door and saw Maxie surrounded by gaurds.

"Uh oh... ok, Munchie, you're up."

Munchie scurried out of Alfonso's pocket and dashed towards the gaurds. Maxie glanced down at the mouse just in time to see it start to glow.

"What the hell?!" said one of the gaurds, bringing up his laser rifle to take aim at Munchie, but he was too late. Munchie flashed a bright color, and teleported right into the gaurds face, taking a large bite out of the gaurds eye. The gaurds dropped his rifle and screamed.

"Let's GO!" Alfonso shouted, kicking open the stall and rushing the remaining gaurds. He kung-fu'd the crap out of one of them, while Maxie dropped the other ones with his pistol.

"It's you, the singing guy... what's with the rescue?" Maxie asked. Munchie crawled back into Alfonso's pocket.

"I was in the neighborhood," Alfonso said, tossing Maxie a lemon. "Here, my treat."

 

[MightyMario]

Cayde had to get out of there before she got her mind erased or something else entirely. She took Zerris and went through what she thought was the exit, but instead went into an area down below the nightclub. Clearly she wasn’t supposed to see this part.

“What the heck is this place?” she said as they walked through the hallway covered in deep blue lighting. There was a tune that sounded awfully like the Looney Tunes theme song playing distantly.

“I don’t know, Cayde. Let’s just get out of here before we see something we shouldn’t.” Zerris said, his arm wrapped cautiously around Cayde’s.

Continuing to walk, they saw a glass window providing a bright room. The room was colored like the sky with clouds and grass, almost like a child’s playroom.

It was a child’s playroom, upon further inspection. The TV was playing cartoons, toys both Earth-made and alien-made everywhere, and a colorful rug in the center.

A machine dinged in the room, producing a plate of cookies and milk for whoever was occupying the room.

The room’s only occupant, a blonde haired girl aged 12 walked over and grabbed the plate of cookies and sat down in front of the TV, eating and watching Looney Tunes.

Cayde felt immensely sick to her stomach. Why was a girl down here? What were they doing to her?

She wasn’t ready for the answers as Zerris handed her a clipboard off the wall without saying a word. He was just as shocked.

CONTAINMENT FILE: X783

CLONE OF CAYDE SHILEN

DATE CREATED: 10/16/2006

KEEP LOCKED UNTIL CLONE MATURES

CLONE IS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH VOICEBOX, USE PICTURE CARDS AND SYMBOLS PROVIDED

DO NOT ENTER ROOM WITHOUT SECURITY

DO NOT TAMPER WITH CLONE IN ANY WAY

DO NOT STEAL, ORIGINAL CREATION

Cayde clicked open the door and entered. The clone took notice of her and smiled.

 

[OGSniper]

"This is most pleasant, wouldn't you say?" Questioned the clone.

"What are you? Who made you? What are you doing here?" Cayde asked quickly

"She wasn't supposed to know..." Said a voice behind her.

Cayde turned around to see something that caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

Her father stepped out of the shadows to greet his only daughter...

 

[AwdryFan1997]

"This is most pleasant, wouldn't you say?" Questioned the clone.

"What are you? Who made you? What are you doing here?" Cayde asked quickly

"She wasn't supposed to know..." Said a voice behind her.

Cayde turned around to see something that caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

Her father stepped out of the shadows to greet his only daughter...

Cayde was absolutely horrified. There before her was her father, who she knew for a fact was dead. Zerris was not faring much better, and was about to leave when Cayde's father closed the door on them, locking the four of them in the room.

"Then we'll have to dispose of them," they heard the clone say. Zerris looked at the clone, then back at Cayde, then back at the clone, then back at Cayde.

"The clone's mouth didn't move!" Zerris whispered loudly.

"What?"

"When it spoke! Did you hear it speak? It- her- THE MOUTH DIDN'T MOVE!"

"Shut up, boy," Cayde's father said in a tone that made Cayde shiver. Her father had absolutely never spoken like that before. "We need the original Shilen alive, if we are to complete the Arconian experiment. But the spare..." It was only then that Cayde realized that her father was also a clone. And he was grimacing at Zerris.

The Cayde clone's smile turned wicked as he raised her hands and then pointed them at Zerris, with her palms open. Bright flashes of what appeared to be lightning came pouring from the clone's hands, aimed directly at Zerris' torso...

"CAYDE!!" Zerris screamed in horror, as we cut away from this thrilling cliffhanger.

Alfonso reached the nightclub, out of breath and very much exhausted. He ducked behind the side of the building. Munchie poked his head out and squeeked.

"Yeah, sounded kinda bad in there. Luckily I know of a secret back intrance. Remember that guy who sold me the lemons? I think his name was Slinger. He said to push in one of these bricks..."

Alfonso felt around the wall, pushing on the bricks until one of them clicked. A small door opened further down the wall. He crouched and made his way into... the bathroom? Yep, one of the stalls. He peeked through the crack of the door and saw Maxie surrounded by gaurds.

"Uh oh... ok, Munchie, you're up."

Munchie scurried out of Alfonso's pocket and dashed towards the gaurds. Maxie glanced down at the mouse just in time to see it start to glow.

"What the hell?!" said one of the gaurds, bringing up his laser rifle to take aim at Munchie, but he was too late. Munchie flashed a bright color, and teleported right into the gaurds face, taking a large bite out of the gaurds eye. The gaurds dropped his rifle and screamed.

"Let's GO!" Alfonso shouted, kicking open the stall and rushing the remaining gaurds. He kung-fu'd the crap out of one of them, while Maxie dropped the other ones with his pistol.

"It's you, the singing guy... what's with the rescue?" Maxie asked. Munchie crawled back into Alfonso's pocket.

"I was in the neighborhood," Alfonso said, tossing Maxie a lemon. "Here, my treat."

Maxie looked down at the lemon, completely baffled.

"Did you do this?" Alfonso asked, examining Slinger's victim. "That's so gruesome... Galactipede attack, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yeah, that wasn't me," Maxie clarified, "That was Slinger's work. He tried to frame me for it, probably as revenge for our previous encounter..."

Alfonso seemed pleasantly surprised. "Oh, you know Slinger? He sold me these lemons!"

Maxie looked down at the lemon again. "Lemons."

"Yeah, lemons."

"Lemons."

"Try it. It'll give you special powers!"

Maxie didn't hesitate to hesitate. He pocketed the lemon. "No thanks. I've got enough power as it is. But I'm not powerful enough to take down Slinger. You wouldn't happen to have a phonebook, would you?"

"A what?"

"You know, like, the yellow pages or whatever. Has everyone's phone numbers."

"Who you gonna call?" Alfonso asked, cocking his head.

"I'll tell you that when you tell me your history with Slinger..."

 

[Guinea]

Zerris was struck with the lightning from the clone, and the force of it threw him back against the wall. But it was strange... he wasn't electrocuted. Hitting the wall was the only thing that hurt, and...

Well, hitting the wall hurt a lot. Zerris hit his head on impact and fell to the floor, out cold. The clone of Cayde's father bent down to grab him, but Cayde pushed him away.

"Don't you touch him!" she yelled, kneeling down to check on Zerris, shaking him.

The two clones looked at each other for a moment, and the father clone shrugged, then said something that made Cayde's blood run cold.

"The Lion and the Witch will be here soon. We cannot have our progress impeded any longer, dear daughter..."

-----------------------------------------

Alfonso told Maxie everything. About how he met Slinger back in '91 during his bounty hunter days, and how they teamed up together for a while. Eventually they parted ways but met up again at one of the alien bars. Slinger had killed a group of space pirates and kept their cargo of lemons, which Alfonso bought. He explained that his pet mouse ate one of them, giving it the power of teleportation, and how he himself became able to communicate with animals after trying one. It was how he managed to make the monsters disperse, he sang to them in their language.

"And these lemons do what exactly? Grant random abilities? Why are you selling them to humans, then?" Maxie asked.

"Just to make things interesting," said Alfonso. "Why should aliens have all the fun? Humans are just as strong, given the right push."

Maxie shook his head and grinned. "Chaotic as Hell, huh?"

"I guess so," said Alfonso. He motioned towards the door. "We should go find your sister and her boyfriend before they get into trouble. Your phone call might have to wait."

"Oh, you want to tag along? Why?" asked Maxie. Alfonso shrugged.

"I'm bored," he said.

 

[MightyMario]

Cayde felt an exasperated gasp of relief when Zerris started moving again. She grabbed a particularly heavy plastic toy and approached the father clone.

“Soon, we will create the perfect soldier, one who obeys authority without question, one who doesn’t stray from the task…”

Cayde struck his head with the toy and grabbed the Cayde clone’s arm. Zerris followed albeit slowly.

“Where are you taking me?!“ the Cayde clone said as she looked back at her former home.

“Some place that man won’t be able to find you.”

“But that man was my father!”

Cayde felt the urge to scream and say that it was for her own good, but couldn’t find the words lest she break down in tears.

They exited the bar, running past the scene with Alfonso and Maxie.

“Cayde, where the heck are you going?!” Maxie yelled as they ran past.

The three didn’t respond, ignoring Maxie. He groaned and proceeded to run after them.

Climbing over the fence once more, the trio made their way to Maxie’s car. The Cayde clone and Zerris got into the backseat, while Cayde got into the driver’s seat.

“I want out! Let me go!”

“I’m sorry, but we can’t. It’s for your own good.” Zerris held the clone’s hand in an attempt to calm her down.

Cayde shifted the car into drive and sped off, heart pounding and threatening to leap from her chest.

In the bar, a man in a white lab coat shambled up the stairs and grimaced once more.

“Anyone who follows those kids and brings them to me will get 50,000 points…”

 

[OGSniper]

At that moment, everyone but the dancers got up, even the bar tender grabbed a double barreled laser cannon.

Maxie and Alfonso didn't make it to the car in time, so they stole a nearby cargo speeder full of liquor and dashed off towards Maxie's car.

Zerris found some duct tape and tied up the clones hands and put her seat belt on. Zerris pulled out the grenade launcher just in case something started chasing them.

His hunch was right. Out of nowhere a dozen and a half space ships are seen over head and quickly fly by their car.

He gets a ship in the gun's sight and proceeds to fire...

 

[AwdryFan1997]

At that moment, everyone but the dancers got up, even the bar tender grabbed a double barreled laser cannon.

Maxie and Alfonso didn't make it to the car in time, so they stole a nearby cargo speeder full of liquor and dashed off towards Maxie's car.

Zerris found some duct tape and tied up the clones hands and put her seat belt on. Zerris pulled out the grenade launcher just in case something started chasing them.

His hunch was right. Out of nowhere a dozen and a half space ships are seen over head and quickly fly by their car.

He gets a ship in the gun's sight and proceeds to fire...

The projectile detonated well out of range of any of the ships. Still, this did seem to scare some of them off.

"They know that if they try to beam us up or whatever, we'll just blow up their ship from the inside," Zerris thought aloud, his teeth chattering with adrenaline.

"And probably blow ourselves up too!" Cayde said way louder than she meant to. Cayde's clone in the back had gone suspiciously silent. That is, more silent than usual...

"My first time seeing my sister in YEARS, and she steals my car!" Maxie shouted, trying desperately to get the speeder to go faster.

Alfonso looked out the window. "We seem to just be circling the base. Are you sure you want to be chasing those loonies down? Maybe we should go the other way. Like, away from here."

"I am NOT letting that car get beamed up by some inebriated Martians! Do you have any idea how much it cost!?"

Back at the nightclub, the white-clad clone of Cayde's father was surrounded by armed soldiers. Their apparent commanding officer stepped forward. "I'll get straight to the point. Who are you, and why did you put that bounty on those people?"

The clone just smiled. "I am but an intermediary. The hand that moves a pawn in the service of a superior chess piece. I receive orders and then I deliver them. So, please, don't shoot the messenger."

"We won't shoot you," the CO grunted, "but I'll have you know that we will be shooting down the vessels pursuing those humanoids, should they fail to surrender."

The clone laughed. "You don't have it in you! They're just desperate people who'll take any chance to make a quick buck. Enough bucks to live in safety and security as they finally hop off this desolate blue rock."

"That may be so," replied the old soldier, "but I have my orders, too."

Zerris couldn't take his eyes off of the ships overhead. It's as if their pursuers had started chasing them without thinking through how they were going to catch them. Suddenly, one of the ships exploded in a blaze of orange. "OH-!! DID YOU SEE THAT!?"

Cayde did, in fact, see that, but didn't have time to respond before another two ships were destroyed. "They- they're being attacked by the nightcl- uh, base!" she quickly exclaimed. Suddenly, the car began to levitate. "It's a tractor beam or something! Zerris, the grenade launcher!"

"About that..." Zerris was looking back behind them, at the grenade launcher that he dropped on the side of then road, which was getting further and further away. When Cayde realized that she was no longer in control of the car, she finally let go of the steering wheel and turned around to her clone. Cayde gazed in horror at the clone's hands, free at last from the duct tape and extended upwards slightly. It appeared that she was the one raising the car into the air, towards the ships that were being picked off one by one...

 

[Guinea]

After the third loop around the nightclub they hit the curb, causing some of the liquor bottles behind them to break. The smell of vodka gave Alfonso an idea. He took off his shirt and ripped it to shreds.

"What's the plan?" asked Maxie, swerving to avoid one of their pursuers. Alfonso speedily made multiple molotovs.

"One I learned in Russia. Got a light?"

Maxie handed him a zippo, and Alfonso began lighting them.

----------------------------------

"We all have our orders," said the clone to the CO. "But how well we follow them is what truly matters."

The CO motioned to his gaurds to seize the clone, but a strange aura burst forth from the clones body. Before their eyes, the clone began to change in appearance.

"What the hell are you?!" demanded the CO, unholstering his service pistol. He took aim at the clone, but the aura encased everyone in the room, freezing them in place. The clone stepped forward and took the pistol.

"I am the Doctor of Death. And I am in charge here."

Suddenly, the fire alarm went off. Someone had thrown molotovs through the windows. The fire began to slowly spread, and the Doctor chuckled.

"I have business elsewhere. You and your men can enjoy the fire. Goodbye," he said, leaving the men to die.

---------------------------------

The car lifted beyond the threshold of the space craft and the opening closed. Cayde, Zerris and the clone girl found themselves inside the docking bay of the ship.

"What have you done?! Do you not wish to be saved?!" shouted Cayde, grabbing the clone by the shoulders. The clone smiled.

"But... we are saved," said the clone.

"What do you mean?" Zerris asked. Across the bay, a door opened. Three figures walked towards them. One was a giant, animal-like, and mean looking. Next to him, a frail lady wearing a hood seemed to levitate across the floor, keeping stride with the last figure, a gruff looking alien. Cayde recognized the first two from long ago, and the third from earlier at the bar.

"Ah, both the clone and the original are here," said the Witch.

"Excellent, this saves us time," said the Lion.

The alien stretched out his arms.

"Welcome to my ship," said Slinger.

 

[MightyMario]

“Great. Just great! Today can’t get any better, can it?! Weird creatures, aliens, and a CLONE of my girlfriend!”

Zerris paced around the docking bay while he continued raving on about the day’s events.

“We are terribly sorry for dragging you away from your humble life, but there’s some serious work to be done.” said the Lion, his mane flowing down.

“I’m not getting my organs taken out just so you can make a soldier!”

“Oh, no, no, no. You see, that clone of your father has gone rogue. Something altered his programming, and we’re not sure what exactly. Has anyone spoken about Arconian DNA?”

“My… brother.”

“Then he’s not your brother then, is he?”

Cayde groaned and placed her hands over her face. The Cayde clone stood there, leading the Lion to talk with her.

“I see my messages were recieved.”

“Yes, Mr. Lion. I must thank you for coming in such short time. Where are we with locating the Witch Doctor?”

“We haven’t gotten much, I’m sad to say. Your rescue was much more important.”

Cayde looked up at her clone and the Lion.

“She’s your leader?!”

“Somewhat, I’d say we all lead our group.”

Everyone’s attention was drawn to Zerris’ continued rambling. The witch held his hand and recited an incantation, which calmed him down and made him fall asleep.

“Don’t worry, Cayde. Once we find the Witch Doctor, we can restore the Doctor back to his normal self and cure the creatures that plague your planet. Your parents are proud of you…”

The Cayde clone gave Cayde a hug.

 

[OGSniper]

Maxie diverted his attention to the large ship beaming up his car. He went pedal to the metal and zoomed towards the space craft to try to get into the "beam" to also be brought up, thinking that it was the ship was bringing them up his car.

The dinky speeder didn't start floating up, much to Maxie's surprise. He started yelling and swearing as his friends (but more importantly his car) were completely in the alien ship.

Before Maxie could process what happened, a huge explosion erupted in the night sky, blowing up a smaller ship in the process. He turned quickly to see Alfonso with his grenade launcher in hand. Alfonso, knowing what Maxie was going to ask, simply said-

''What? It was on the side of the road, and I picked it up as we passed by it."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This caught the attention of Slinger. He quickly went to the cams and saw Maxie and another guy following closely on the ground. Knowing that Maxie would start some more trouble, he jettisoned a smaller skiff out of his ship and told the computer running the skiff to tractor beam them and to bring them to a smaller bay because Maxie's car was in the larger one.

The skiff quickly used the plasma beam on the speeder, freezing all persons on the craft to make sure that they didn't use the grenade launcher or any weapons.

The small ship then transported the speeder into the other docking bay.

Before the ship finally turned off the beam, Slinger walked in the bay and shot both Maxie and Alfonso with a tranquilizer dart, to make sure that they were out of their hair for just a little bit and that he could transport them to a prisoner cell peacefully.

He did this without letting his employers know, not knowing that the Lion, Doctor, and the Witch Doctor didn't want Maxie aboard.

He had more than just a score to settle with Maxie and the other guy he could sell to be a slave, or he could sell him to a scientist to use his body for science. Any which way, he would get some money and satisfaction from capturing both of them. Not just that, but the speeder he had beamed up was full of liquor. This was just too good.

Slinger quickly put both of the sleeping men into the same cell, thinking that they wouldn't cause any trouble. He didnt check them good enough for weapons, so he accidently left Maxie with a smaller handgun. He stowed away the grenade launcher and left the speeder and liquor where they were. What he didn't notice was a mouse running across the floor carrying a two small space lemon to the door leading back to the bridge. As Slinger finished up his work, he opened up the door to go back to the others and as he stepped into the doorway, the small mouse dashed through the door with him, persevering to try to get to Cayde and Zerris, hoping that they could help out Maxie and Alfonso...

 

[AwdryFan1997]

Munchie narrowly avoided being trampled (or seen) by the Lion, who trundled by carrying what appeared to be an unconscious young man. He continued on, following Slinger to the main control room. The Witch was with him.

"It is probably of use to know that the Filer Institute began firing on us shortly before we left Earth," the Witch said.

"It wasn't the Institute." Slinger maintained his focus on the controls. Munchie could see on the main screen that the ship was now beyond the atmosphere and quietly parked in Earth's orbit. "The other ships chasing the target were shot down by Earthling armed forces."

"I thought the Institute was an armed force?" the Witch asked, seemingly legitimately confused.

"No, Meaugradna," Slinger explained condescendingly, "the Institute is a government-funded non-government non-profit interest group which serves as the primary benefactor for a local branch of the planet's international anti-alien agency that just so happens to be a force that is armed."

"Thank you," Meaugradna the Witch replied, "that makes everything quite clear."

"I think it would be best if I were upfront with you about something," Slinger said, finally turning around to face Meaugradna. Meaugradna's eyes, partly obscured by her hood, narrowed. "I have captured two Earthlings, one of whom I have some unfinished business with. They are in the brig, where Aericole took the target's partner. So we are in fact carrying three spares, not just one."

"This is preposterous!" Meaugradna sneered, "All of this is pointless now that we have the original Cayde Shilen! We don't even need the clone in order to complete the Arconian Nugenerans! I will not tolerate referring to an underdeveloped Earthling as our leader!"

"Aericole seems to be tolerating it quite fine," Slinger mused.

"Aericole is just a stooge like any other! He hasn't the brain capacity for complaint."

"I think he's just a good actor. I can sense when someone's trying to play 4-D chess, and Aericole has us all in 4-D check."

"Inconceivable! Know your place, Slinger. You're a hired grunt, not an equal member of our group! So watch your tongue!"

Slinger chuckled. "Do I even have a tongue?"

Munchie found this all very interesting, and was taking notes. Suddenly, something started beeping on Slinger's control panel.

"Damn it, Meaugradna! You distracted me!" Slinger began frantically pushing buttons and flicking switches. "We're back in Earth's atmosphere, and losing altitude fast! We're gonna crash! Brace for impact!!"