When Is Silence Golden?

[A Link In Time]

At some point in our lives we've all likely heard the adage, "Silence is golden". But what exactly is the merit of this statement? When is it better to speak or remain tight lipped? Is the ability to remain silent a quality we are gravitating away from in the modern day?

The social world permeates every facet of contemporary existence. The push is towards staying connected with friends and family over networking sites like Facebook and Twitter as well as IMs including Skype. At school and in the work place, heavy emphasis is placed on communicating with others in order to partition a task and finish it more quickly and effectively. Those who fail to do this are deemed queer.

We've all seen social outcasts in our lives. There's always that one kind who sits alone at lunch in the corner. The largest affected group in this area is the mentally handicapped, not because of their inability to express thought altogether but rather failure to do so clearly.

Often times we spend the weekend at the theatre with friends after five days of rigorous work. While providing for short term entertainment, this lifestyle ultimately leaves us exhausted. We lack time to ponder over ourselves; our past, our present, our future. It's that lack of a quiet hour which places many in a stressful situation as they feel the burdens of life closing in one them.

Conversely, it's sometimes not alright to remain silent. When a wrong is observed, it's our moral duty to either confront the offender and explain to him or her why the deed was malicious or when matters fall out of our hands, inform authorities who will do the same.

These are a few of my thoughts regarding silence versus speaking in certain situations. Now I'd like to hear from you. When is it better to have your voice heard and when is some quiet time for reflection and meditation optimal?

 

[Mamono101]

You have posed a rather interesting question. I have been trying to collate my own thoughts for about the last 10mins now and it is doing my head in!

"Silence is golden"...what exactly is the merit of this statement?

I feel that while this adage is good to ponder, it holds very little merit in regard to the ethical implications that arise from remaining silent, as you have also mentioned (I'll get to that later). I do not think that silence itself is necessarily a good thing. While taking a moment for yourself can be beneficial, especially if there are many stresses that you face, not venting any pent-up frustrations or emotions that have been accumulating inside your own body can be detrimental to your over-all mental well-being and general enjoyment of life.

Conversely, it's sometimes not alright to remain silent. When a wrong is observed, it's our moral duty to either confront the offender and explain to him or her why the deed was malicious or when matters fall out of our hands, inform authorities who will do the same.

As I mentioned above, this adage does come with ethical implications. If you see a young child alone and crying as you were walking down the road or in your local shopping mall, etc, you would stop to ask what the matter was: is he lost, alone, hurt...Transpose this same situation onto an adult. Most people wouldn't even look twice. They would keep their mouths shut pretending they never saw [insert whatever happened here] and go on with their lives. From this perspective, saying "silence is golden" for people like that is akin to "Ignorance is Bliss" or "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

The social world permeates every facet of contemporary existence.

I feel that social networking sites and to a lesser extent forum based websites are at the entire other end of the spectrum when it comes to "talking". I had an aversion to Facebook for many years, even though I have an account and although I use it more and more each day because that's the primary mode of communication from my friends, it does not substitute talking to a real person. Having your entire life laid out for anyone to see is another reason I dislike these websites. Do we really need to know what some celebrity is doing at any given moment of the day? In this respect, silence can be golden.

I have attempted to sift through my thoughts and write them down in a way that others will hopefully be able to understand them and hopefully they make sense.

 

[TheMasterSword]

The so called rule of thumb, the Silence is Golden rule is followed, but many a times it is followed for the wrong reasons. If anyone has watched what would you do on ABC, you would see how many keep their silence, as when an actor played a morman and he broke of his engagement when he found out his Fiance wasn't a virgin, as she had a one night stand in HIGH SCHOOL. There was another case when a woman was clearly distraught, and her husband obviously abused her as she had bruises on her face and he pushed her around on the table. Many people just gave him bad looks. The worse of all involved special needs, there are a multitude of these scenarios, and its sad how sick this world truly is. Also, what exactly makes this rule work? Are there terms when you should keep quiet or speak out? IN the movie theaters, they always have the Silence is Golden/Turn your Darn Cell Phone off Public Service Announcements. But they never Clarify when to use your cell phones, etc. A prime example is the Colorado Movie Theater shootout (It's been a while since you heard about that, isn't it?) The man comes in through the emergency exit and throws a smoke bomb. If people had their phones ready, at least one life could have been spared or saved. The paramedics might have come soon enough to help some wounded who died. Is the rule supposed to be applied there? There are a plethora of scenarios I can point out, but it seems that in this current state of the world, the majority of this so called rule is used negatively. Also, I feel its neccesary to say a lot of people don't follow the rule in theaters, they text in films etc. They even changed the ads! "Turn your phone of, or on silent. " Come on people! There is a time for silence, and the majority of the time we need to step up and fight back.

 

[bunny]

I think everyone needs to be alone and have some peace and quiet now and then, but I don't think secluding yourself is a good thing. We still need to be around other human beings, but too much can become frustrating at times.

 

[Cel-Shaded Deku]

None of these sayings are useful to me. They're all vague, subjective statements that don't really give any insight or guidance on how to handle a situation. I have used "silence is golden" as "It's great to get away from noise after a hard day's work", and some of them are just contradictory, i.e., "The pen is mightier than the sword" and actions speak louder than words". I agree more with actions speak louder than words but sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword.

Getting back to silence is golden: that's obviously not a good way to view social interaction. If you have something to say it;s probably best to say it, but don't rudely interrupt someone who is already speaking. Besides the alone time thing I mentioned earlier there aren't many situation where silence is golden could apply. One is a criminal situation in which you're being arrested and you, of course, have the right to remain silent.

 

[bspurka]

I feel as though, silence is only golden at oppertune moments, It helps heal things, helps you think before you act. There are moments in life were words do not do justice. In silence you can reflect on your life, what you can do in your future, it is a time when you are at peace not so much when you should and shouldn't say things.

 

[Sir Quaffler]

Hmm, I feel as if my views on this matter are much different than most other people's.

Most people are extroverts by nature and as such feel the need to be around and talk with people constantly. I as an introvert do not have such compulsions. By all means, I love talking to people I am interested in, and when a topic that I am interested in pops up. In fact, whenever that happens you can hardly get me to shut up. But I feel no need to say something when I have nothing to add to the conversation. If, on a long car ride, people run out of conversation topics, I have absolutely no problems with peace and quiet. I realize most people think of this as awkward silence, but I don't normally think of it that way. I like talking, but I don't like making small talk, which is basically talking about nothing. I see no value in it. People in this modern age are so uncomfortable around even a small moment of silence, it's kinda weird from an outsider's perspective.

Another thing about being an introvert is, since I don't feel the need to constantly be talking with other people even when you don't really have anything important to say, I have a lot of time to ponder the greater and more important things in life and to figure out what exactly it is that I believe. It is this introspection that I feel is lost on so many other people. People keep talking but they aren't really saying anything; they don't really know what they believe and why they believe it. A bit of looking inwards can solve a lot of these problems.

Often times we spend the weekend at the theatre with friends after five days of rigorous work. While providing for short term entertainment, this lifestyle ultimately leaves us exhausted. We lack time to ponder over ourselves; our past, our present, our future. It's that lack of a quiet hour which places many in a stressful situation as they feel the burdens of life closing in one them.

This is a very good point to bring up. Having this moment(s) to yourself to collect your thoughts and reflect on yourself is a very vital skill that I feel is being lost to the general populace. Since I have many times during the week and during each day where I can remove myself from an active social situation and collect myself, I feel much more rested and far less stressed out than my peers.

These are all examples of when silence IS golden.

When silence is NOT golden, however, is when there is a very serious topic that NEEDS to be discussed and you refuse to. This only bottles you up inside and causes you to resent other people until it all blows in one catastrophic event. Trust me, I have seen it happen with my parents, and it is a slow and painful death to relationships, my friend. Refusing to talk through these issues, especially matters that you don't feel comfortable talking about, is not a healthy way to live. I would even argue that, since I am an introvert and therefore have put far more thought into these important and serious matters than most, I am actually BETTER prepared to handle such situations and am not afraid to confront somebody when I need to.

 

[Spirit]

Silence is golden when the tape is.

 

[Sir Quaffler]

Silence is golden when the tape is.

Um...... what? Sorry if I'm coming across rude, but can you elaborate? I don't quite understand what it is you're trying to say.

 

[tysonrss]

Silence is always "golden". I hate overly obnoxious, loud *** people for all their worth.

It's annoying for the sake of good.

 

[TheRizardon]

Silence is golden when it's a rainy night and everyone's in bed.

 

[zellinkda]

Silence is golden in lots of situations. A lot of us on this forum are under the age of 18 years old, also known as a minor. Until each of us becomes an adult, almost always, silence is golden. Teachers may be a little hard on you if you're the loud mouth that screams at the top of their lungs without raising their hand daily. Also, if you meet someone highly revered, you might want to keep your mouth shut in case you say something regrettable. This not only applies to minors, but it applies to practically everyone on the planet. I'm pretty sure everyone knows this, but another place to keep quiet is at a funeral/wake. I can't tell you how many people I've seen talking like they're at a party. It's highly disrespectful for an individual to talk during the ceremony. One has to remember that they are there mourning the death of someone.

it's sometimes not alright to remain silent. When a wrong is observed, it's our moral duty to either confront the offender and explain to him or her why the deed was malicious or when matters fall out of our hands, inform authorities who will do the same.

I must agree here, everyone has to stand up for themselves. I have seen it happen again and again where someone just sits back and lets people walk all over them. we have to be sharp-- so that we can protect ourselves from a disheveled reputation.

 

[Seth]

The so called rule of thumb, the Silence is Golden rule is followed, but many a times it is followed for the wrong reasons. If anyone has watched what would you do on ABC, you would see how many keep their silence, as when an actor played a morman and he broke of his engagement when he found out his Fiance wasn't a virgin, as she had a one night stand in HIGH SCHOOL. There was another case when a woman was clearly distraught, and her husband obviously abused her as she had bruises on her face and he pushed her around on the table. Many people just gave him bad looks. The worse of all involved special needs, there are a multitude of these scenarios, and its sad how sick this world truly is. Also, what exactly makes this rule work? Are there terms when you should keep quiet or speak out? IN the movie theaters, they always have the Silence is Golden/Turn your Darn Cell Phone off Public Service Announcements. But they never Clarify when to use your cell phones, etc. A prime example is the Colorado Movie Theater shootout (It's been a while since you heard about that, isn't it?) The man comes in through the emergency exit and throws a smoke bomb. If people had their phones ready, at least one life could have been spared or saved. The paramedics might have come soon enough to help some wounded who died. Is the rule supposed to be applied there? There are a plethora of scenarios I can point out, but it seems that in this current state of the world, the majority of this so called rule is used negatively. Also, I feel its neccesary to say a lot of people don't follow the rule in theaters, they text in films etc. They even changed the ads! "Turn your phone of, or on silent. " Come on people! There is a time for silence, and the majority of the time we need to step up and fight back.

The entire Colorado shooting was just a few minutes long, I don't think people having there phones ready would have done anything. Lets be honest, most probably had them on anyways but were just on silence.

 

[Mcjoejoejoe]

Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver.