It tears my heart that no matter what I do, I can't do anything right. Not with my academics, not with my friends, not with my family. This feels like nothing is going right and yet I don't want to die. I tend to believe that I am the one that causes the problems, that I am the one who ruins everything for others, that I only damage them. And despite everything that has happened to me, I still believe in that one thread of hope that I'm holding to. I just want to feel accepted. Maybe that's too much to ask. Hell, I'm practically annoying others with this post right now. I should stop trying to express myself and just get a lobotomy. At least then I wouldn't have to worry so much...