Something that rally came to my mind is that my randomness really does affects my friends and family in a negative light. I don't try to intentionally attack, hurt, damage, or ruin people's lives, but for some reason, I just can't help myself. It's be going on for years and usually is done whenever I'm comfortable with the people nearby. I'm sick and tired of always having these personalities control. One time I could be actually thoughtful and concerning, and the next moment I am wild and chaotic. It's no wonder why I get pushed away from my friends, because I unintentionally do so in the first place. Why must I be like this? Really, why am I like this? I hate it and sometimes I wish I was better off dead so that no one had to deal with my shenanigans.
Since today is in fact Mother's Day, I am going to buy dinner for my mom at Pizza Hut later this afternoon so that I can honor for doing the world's hardest job, and that's always taking care of me no matte how messed I become in life, she will always be there for me because she will sacrifice her life just so she can see rise to the top. I say that's the greatest love that I have ever receive and I just know when she is gone from this world, I will always have her in my heart because for 11 years (at the time of this post), she single handily took care of both me and my brother with no father and always made sure that she provided everything that she needed for us to succeed in our lives.