I feel alright today, I guess. I was bored earlier, but I'm now listening to music. Music makes me feel better for some reason. Messes with the chemicals in my brain to equal happiness. Or at least, some degree of it.
I am always really afraid to turn up music really loud, and I wish I could so I could hear every little detail and nuance in the song, But I can't cause someone will always tell me to turn it down. If I could listen to it loudly, it would be ecstacy...
I want a pair of headphones that are kinda expensive, but I can't buy them because it seems as though I always have to spend money on something else... There's always money needed for my girlfriend's car and money to save up for trips that I have no idea if they're even happening or not... I just want to buy things that make me happy but I haven't been able to barely at all since I started my first job 3 months ago. And I freaking hate my job... I feel like quitting sometimes because the people who go to the grocery store I work at are just mean, and I know I'm doing my best. My manager Steve is a prick... I wanna quit, even if it means I get no money cause it's not like I really have money anyways... It stresses me out so much. I only took the damn job because it was the only job I could get because my friend's sister is a supervisor there and she reccommended me... It's a job that's not even fit for me in the first place! I have a heart condition and I push carts a whole lot. It's not good for me. When I say push carts, I mean more that 5 at once. It may not be hard for you, but it is for me. I get the job done fine but I just wish I could work at a place like GameStop serving people my own age who I can relate to that aren't jerks. Where I'm not in such a damn rush. It seems like the rush of working at a grocery store (and it's always a rush because I work at the busiest grocery store in my city besides Walmart) makes everyone angry and I would never be able to get along with anybody. I want to, but no one wants to get along with me. I'm tired of it. I wish I could do something easier or at least something I liked at the moment, but I got more stuff I gotta worry about before getting a new job like getting my GED.
Oh yeah, and I didn't get my GED because something messed up on their end at the education office so I have to take all the tests again, and that means I have to pay for them too. So, I need to get that done before anything else. Oh yeah, I bet some people's impressions will change about me just because I have to get my GED and that I didn't graduate. Yeah, that doesn't mean I'm not smart. I used to not think I am smart but I learned to not care about other people's opinions. I care about my own. I know I'm smart. I was in honor roll all through elemetary and everyone said I was gifted and I had the highest reading level in school but I became depressed and my grades fell off; In case anyone was wondering.
I know that you guys probably wouldn't think less of me... I know... But other people do. But, I don't really care. Oh well for them, right? Right?
I just want some more enjoyment in my life. Can I get a freaking pair of headphones to start? Ugh.
:bleh:
I didn't know he was a spambot but now I know for sure :xd:
