The Tears of the Moon

[LozzyKate]

Preface: A nightmare

The orange sun, sunk deeper into the horizon’s line. A girl, young and fragile sat, crying in the golden sand of the beach. She wore a white cloak. Her face was covered and her body outlined in a white glow. The waves crashed against the rocks around her. A motionless body lay next to her. The body was that of a monster. It searched for the girl. Dark clouds loomed over the darkening sky. Thunder rumbled the remains of the girl’s only home. Lightning brought flashes of horror to the world. Screams echoed from the distant village.

‘They are searching for me. I am next. Innocent people are being mutilated because of me. O Goddesses of the Heavens, please, keep me safe,’ she thought. Suddenly, a line of purple lightning shot down from the sky. It rocketed towards the girl. A figure dressed in a black cloak willed the lightning to strike the girl in the head. She twitched for a minute. Her cloak faded to black. The outlining glow of her body disappeared. Her love for good, and hate for evil mismatched. The Sacred Purple Lightning brainwashed the girl. She stood. The hood of her cloak fell off her head.

The girl was one of the most precious, extravagant, and beautiful girls in the world. She had mid-length red hair that glistened from the pouring rain. She had red eyes that were changing to black. A long rod was lingering in her right hand. Two daggers hung in their sheaths at her waist. A chain whip stuffed in a bag and hung on her belt, as well. The girl was not a girl from the looks. She was a woman of twenty years. As the cloaked person examined her, they walked towards her.

“Hello, Din, young daughter of the Goddess of Magic,” the cloaked person’s voice was pitched like a female’s. She removed her hood and stood in front of Din. The woman of twenty-one years had dark irises under her eyes. Her eyes were silver and full of hate. She held the affinity of lightning. This woman was evil and was searching for anyone she could find. Her hair was long, silver, and wistful. “My name is Alexis. You may call me Lexi when you have served me in the way I have dreamed for you to.”

Din did not answer Alexis. Din stared deeply into Alexis’s eyes. Alexis grew tired of the long pause for Din’s response. Alexis grabbed Din’s wrist, whispered a calling in the Ancient Language of the Hylians, and lightning transported them to a place where evil roamed and lived free.

The area was an island all on its own. Fog swirled all around the trees, plants, and creatures. Alexis dragged Din fast through all the mayhem. She needed to get to the top of the Demon’s Palace.

“He is awakening, Din. The ancient Demon is awakening. You are needed to fight. Dark Magic is rare to find.”

“I understand. What is the Demon’s name?”

“He will speak it once his soul is lifted from the holes of hell.”

Din cringed. “Who put our Lord there?”

“The goddesses,” Din blinked and remembered something before she was hit and brainwashed. At that moment, the island seemed to become darker around them. The goddesses were once the protectors of the world, but they failed with this island.

“Is something the matter, young one?”Alexis called a lightning bolt, the color of purple, into her hand. She touched at the start of Din’s spine. Din shivered and all of her past memories were blocked a hidden.

“We are here,” the palace in which they stood was beautiful, but full of dark and evil power. The palace was tall as a mountain. The walls were black and strong. Before Alexis and Din, was a large sarcophagus. It was golden and had many pictures of the time when the Lord ruled. The sarcophagus sat in a poll of water. The water emitted a white glow.

“The Pool of Awakening,” Alexis said, as if she read Din’s mind.

The water bubbled insanely. The top of the sarcophagus flew off. The body of a man sat up. A powerful light emitted from his body. He wore all black. When he turned his head his eyes were mesmerizing. They were all black. There were no whites in his eyes at all. He stood and left his sarcophagus. All the creatures cheered and cried in their strange languages.

“Be prepared, Din. Evil will rule this world for a long time. Now, you have the honor of living with it. Not against it.”

"Young monsters, creatures, and Hylians, it is tonight that I have risen from my place in hell. It is tonight that we start our invasion on the world and claim everyone and everything! Let us begin with the distant lands of Hyrule!" Lightning flashed from the sky. Thunder boomed against the world. The Lord snapped his fingers. All monsters and Hylians present collapsed. He did his ultimate control ritual. Alexis was the only one that stood.

 

[ChargewithSword]

Very good start, mysterious and dark. Keep this up. I barely noticed any grammar and spelling mistakes, so that is a good thing.

P.S: I believe Subrosia is Hyrule's equivalent of hell.

 

[TriforceHunter]

Hey, it wasn't really that bad, it was ASOWME!!! Keep it up!

 

[*M i d n a*]

Preface: A nightmare
The orange sun, sunk deeper into the horizon’s line. A girl, young and fragile sat, crying in the golden sand of the beach. She wore a white cloak. Her face was covered and her body outlined in a white glow. The waves crashed against the rocks around her. A motionless body lay next to her. The body was that of a monster. It searched for the girl. Dark clouds loomed over the darkening sky. Thunder rumbled the remains of the girl’s only home. Lightning brought flashes of horror to the world. Screams echoed from the distant village.

Nice story you got going here, Kate. But what did bother me a bit was the starting sentence, the very first comma you used I believe does not need to be used, but that is just my opinion. I highlighted it so you can see what I am talking about.

I hardly noticed any misspelled words, so you are fine in that regard. Good work and good start. I will be keeping a watchful eye on this one.

 

[Master Kokiri 9]

Nice job Lozzy. I think you did pretty well and it's off to a good mysterious start. However, there are a couple spelling mistakes, but nothing too horrible. Keep it up!

 

[Din Akera]

Wow girl! You really took the feedback I gave you on the last one and applied it! Your thoughts are much more fluid and less broken. I like the entry too! But I'm bias on that subject, lol.

Fantabulous start off. good job my friend!

 

[LozzyKate]

Chapter One

*10 years before Preface*

Chaos flooded the village of Kakariko. Homes and building were on fire, burning slowly to the muddy and filled earth. Rain flooded the air, blinding the villagers trying to escape the evil invading their home. Screaming circled around the crowding and bunched people.

“Mommy? Mommy, where are you?” A small child wandered into an alleyway of two buildings that were not yet touched by the deadly flames. Two monsters caught sight of her and stalked her into the dark lane. The cackled and chuckled to each other. They spoke whispers of how to murder the young girl. She was defenseless. She held no weapon. She had mid-length, brown hair. Her eyes were as green as a leaf. She was up to an adult’s waist in height. She wore a green leaf dress, a green cloak covering her arms and body. “Momma?”

“Right here, darling,” one of the monsters mimicked.

The girl fell into the trap of the monster’s acting and turned around. The little girl screamed. The monsters sauntered towards her. The girl turned herself around and ran with all her might to find help. She ran deeper into the alleyway. It grew darker and colder. The rain pelted the girl in her face. She ran to a dead end at a brick wall. Laughter echoed from the further distance.

“There is so use in running my precious, delectable, darling. No one can save you now. You’ll be seeing your mother very soon.”

“My momma? You monsters! You killed her? Why? My momma did nothing to you!”

“She smelled good. Just as good as you, but you are so much better than her,” the other monster croaked. The monsters lunged at the girl. She screamed so loud it echoed the alley.

“Get your hands off of her!” A boy dropped down from the roof of the building on the left. He landed in front of the girl who was now trembling and crying. The boy shaped a ball of fire in both of his hands. He threw them both at the monsters. They started wailing in agony. The burned until they were black and shattered into ashes. He turned around to face the girl. She pulled her knees up to her chest. She started rocking back and forth. The piece of grass that was growing out of the ground, oddly grew, reached the girl’s face, and caressed her. The boy squatted in front of her.

“What is your name, sweetie?” He had eyes as blue as ice. His hair was short, black, and discombobulated. He was muscular, mature looking, and protective. He showed concern for the young girl. He was only a foot taller than the girl. “If it helps you tell me, my name is Xeld. Those monsters won’t come after you anymore, I promise,” the girl cringed, screamed, and shook even more violently. Xeld noticed the piece of grass that was trying to calm the girl. He questioned if she controlled earth.

“M…m…my n…name is…K…Kate. My mom…where…is she? Did they really…kill her?”
Xeld’s eyes widened as she said that. He knew what happened to her mother. They had gotten separated in the scurrying crowd. She had searched everywhere for her daughter. Eventually, two monsters, the same that chased Kate, found her, attacked her, and fed on her mutilated body. Xeld had gotten there a minute too late.
Xeld was staring into space when Kate ran into him and cried. “It’s okay, Kate. It’s…It’s all over now. The monsters are all gone. You are safe now.”

“Momma isn’t. She wasn’t safe. She is gone now. I should’ve held her hand like she told me to, and none of this would’ve ever happened,” Kate put her head on Xeld’s shoulder.

“Your mother was very strong. She told me when I found her that she was protecting you. She gave you time to run away. Kate, look at me,” Xeld put his hands on Kate’s jaw with both hands, and pulled her face away from his shoulder to look at him. “I will protect you now. You mother asked that of me. I will be like a big brother to you. But first, answer me these three things. What was your mother’s name? How old are you? And, how can you control earth?” Kate slid from Xeld. She sat with her legs underneath her. The rain poured hard. A strange shelter of earth came over top of them. Xeld gazed at it.

“My mother’s name was, Farore. I am eight years old. I’ve been controlling earth from birth. My mother is the Goddess of the Earth,” Kate wiped the tears from her eyes. Before Xeld could say anymore, a terrifying scream echoed down the alleyway. Xeld grabbed Kate by the wrist, ran out of the alley and into the mayhem, and found dozens of motionless bodies lying on the ground. Blood painted any grass that was left and the earth. Several people escaped Kakariko as the rain paraded down in a rhythm.

“Kate, whatever you see, whatever you hear, do not let go of my hand for a split second. I promised your mother that you would never get hurt,” Xeld took a pistol out of his waist belt. He had a red t-shirt on, with black pants and black boots. The belt held all of Xeld’s weapons. A pistol, a sword, and two daggers were on the belt. As Xeld took the pistol out, he quickly loaded it with one hand, and shot every monster that still roamed the village. Xeld ran with Kate following at the same speed.
As they exited the village and pushed through the crowd quickly, Xeld and Kate were never freed or released from harm’s way. Once the two of them were a safe distance from the village, they sat down at the base of an old oak tree. Kate turned her head back to Kakariko. “The only home I ever had, destroyed.”

“This day was meant to come. Your mother sat in meetings for years predicting it to become reality. Everyone thought she was crazy, but in the end she was correct. I’m sure now, she will keep you protected and help us find survivors, who are not a part of this evil lurking the land, to fight and travel with us. May time let us last long enough for that to ever happen,” Xeld twirled a small flamed between his fingers. Kate held a Dandelion and blew on the top of it. A soft wind carried the little bits away.

“What did you wish for?”

“Peace and friends,” Kate said shallowly.

“I told you, you should’ve asked the woman for directions! You fool! No we are lost!” Two figures wandered into view of Xeld and Kate after ten minutes. Kate stood quickly. She shaped a bow, arrows, and a quiver out of the earth and wood. She readied an arrow in the bow.

“Who goes there? Identify yourselves,” Kate waved the bow up to signal introduction.

“Whoa! Relax! We are just travelers. We are looking for a way to defeat the evil Demon that is going to awaken in ten years, before it happens. I am Mantora. This is my friend Daniel.” Mantora wore a gray tunic. He had dark brown hair. It was short, but well maintained. His black eyes told many stories. Daniel was tall. He was tan and muscular. He wore a metal breast plate, metal shoulder pieces, and kept metal boots on his feet. His hair was jet black, and his eyes were piercing brown, the color of bark. Both boys looked young, but were very mature and strong. They looked older than what they may have been.

Kate slowly lowered her bow. Xeld stood next to her, ready to strike, if anything should’ve gone wrong. “You’re trying to kill the evil as well?” Xeld questioned. The boys both nodded. “We are both seven. Our father was killed three days ago in battle. We control air.”

“I control earth,” Kate confirmed.

“I control fire,” Xeld concluded.

“Air, earth, and fire. That’s a good combo,” Daniel commented proudly.

“Indeed it is, Daniel. Kate, the Goddess must have heard your prayer. Maybe it was good to tell your wish out loud,” Xeld said happily.
For the next ten years, the three fought monsters, minions, re-dead Hylians, and in the process found two more people willing to fight for the sake of light, peace, and good. Lan, said he was sixteen, but that was mentally. He was actually in his thirties. Lan was a giant; one from another dimension to be precise. He could change his size though. When away from his home dimension he preferred to be human size, unless he is threatened by something really huge. His most notable feature though, was a nose that is shaped like that of a rectangular prism, and he was often made fun for it. He would break your face if you did that though.

When he and his brother, Match, went out to some old ruins when they were really young (Mentally six, actually twelve) Lan was deathly ill. Eventually he just collapsed from exhaustion and was on the verge of death. His brother, desperate to save Lan, found two stones, one of fire and one of electricity. He gave the stone of electricity to Lan and inherited the stone of fire. Lan was saved by the magic of the stone, but now he was bound to it as well. He would have to make sure never to let the stone run out of energy, or else he would die. If anyone was to remove the stone from Lan's gut, he would be paralyzed for five minutes. After five minutes, he would die, unless the stone is put back into him.

The stone was a benefactor though. It gave Lan complete control over the powers of electricity. He also got to be able to use magic because of it. Sadly Lan had a problem; whenever he casted a spell that is not electricity based he would throw up a storm (figuratively). He also had the power of flight, but was afraid of going too high.

Lan's velocity and speed increased by tenfold though. He could run a twenty mile dash in three minutes and still have energy. He was flexible and was awesome in combat with his electric mace. Lan was weak-willed at times though he was only sixteen and would often run away if the danger is too much for the group he was with. He, however, can stay in high spirits when others are down. He also had a code to kill as a last resort, main villains included. If he does kill, it was either when the villain pushes him too far, or by pure accident. Lan is also somewhat backwards when it comes to tech. He and his brother came from a backwater planet so they were often in the dark.

Yann was the second hero to join the crew. He had black eyes also. He wore a red tunic to symbolize he affinity for fire. Xeld and Yann, both, controlled fire. Daniel and Mantora, both, controlled air. Lan controlled electricity. Kate controlled earth. Kate’s mother had sometimes helped or guided the group of heroes to the safest possible place. Now, as Kate was eighteen, Xeld was twenty-one, Daniel and Mantora were seven-teen, and Lan was six-teen mentally, actually thirty, the heroes were coming to face their greatest challenge yet. The Lord of the Demons.

 

[LozzyKate]

Thank you

Thank you to ChargeWithSword for the story behind Lan.
Thank you for all the feedback and compliments. I really appreciate all the support for this and all the sign ups. I wish that whomever wanted to sign up that couldn't could be in this.

 

[Din Akera]

Fantabulous my friend. THough i did find a couple spelling errors. I know you looked for them hard, but when you know the text it is hard to find errors because your head corrects them as you read, making you not see them. lol That is my problem. But You are introducing all your characters well, some, extremely well.

 

[LozzyKate]

Fantabulous my friend. THough i did find a couple spelling errors. I know you looked for them hard, but when you know the text it is hard to find errors because your head corrects them as you read, making you not see them. lol That is my problem. But You are introducing all your characters well, some, extremely well.

Thank you for letting me know, Din. I fixed the errors just now. I really appreciate the feedback. It helps me a lot.

 

[Master Kokiri 9]

Absolutely terrific Lozzy. The detail is very nice and the plot is very interesting.

 

[LozzyKate]

Absolutely terrific Lozzy. The detail is very nice and the plot is very interesting.

Thank you MK9. I appreciate that you enjoy it. I'm currently working on Chapter 2, so there's something to look forward to.

 

[yann]

That's such a casual story!
You're going into such intense depth, while still keeping the audience captive!
Love it!

 

[LozzyKate]

That's such a casual story!
You're going into such intense depth, while still keeping the audience captive!
Love it!

Thanks Yann! I'm glad that you like the story. I got held up today, but I am working on Chapter Two right now.

 

[*M i d n a*]

The story is well written and all, but....yes but lol...but there is a problem.

When you introduced Lan and his brother the mood swinged back and forth from third view to first view. You were speaking as if in the present and past, and you also wrote too much stuff that seemed like as if you were telling us the story, Kate, not the author. Do you know what I mean? I'll give you a few examples and if you want to correct them that is entirely up to you.

The Stone was a benefactor though. It gives Lan (That is the problem right there.) You said gives, when in my own opinion it should had been gave. There are also more examples I could use but I am sure you will find them on your own. The trouble started just when you introduced those two characters, the rest is fine. You should stick to writing it in the third person view and not switch over, it tends to throw the reader off.

Anyway, that is my opinion, Kate, you are welcomed to ignore it and move on. The story is coming along great, I enjoyed reading it, especially that part where my character showed up and helped you out. And having you in my arms...lol that was awesome. Will I hold Din too?