Lies you were taught in school

[Ninja]

Not necessarily in school per say, but to get me to behave, my mom always told me that those cameras by the automatic doors at Walmart were watching me. If I misbehaved, they would take me away.

...I believed it.

 

[Dio]

Back in the good ol' days of elementary school, I had a teacher who told my class that hummingbirds hitch rides on the backs of geese during migration season.

What you said reminded me of the weasel that rode a woodpecker.

 

[Castle]

I was told that I'd never make it in middle school because of my bad attitude, but my middle school cared less than my elementary did...

HaHaHaha! That line must be in some teachers/principal's manual somewhere.... Yeah, it's complete rubbish.

"You'll not always have a calculator." -Literally Every Math Teacher I Ever Had
ME: Pulls out phone, does calculations n' stuff.