King of the Hill!

[Jedizora]

I eat cabbage. I claim the hill.

 

[Cabbage]

Why do you use cabbage against me?
I pelt you with my extra explodin poisonous muffins. We own the hill once more.

 

[AwesomeTingle]

You were too close when you threw those muffins. Some of the toxins bounced back and hit you, but very little. So the disease wasn't noticeable. In a few weeks you were sick in bed, in deathly agony. Finally, you died. I decided, that since no one else had the hill, I would take it.
I claim the hill

 

[Cabbage]

I'm gonna go classic here-I throw you into a pool of acid. We claim the hill again.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

Hello? You never killed me AwesomeTingle. So, I had the hill this whole time... you fail at life

 

[SwiftestPhantom]

I distract you with a shiny object dangling on a fishing line, and then hit you in the head with a cinderblock. I CLAIM THE HILL!

 

[MikauIncarnate]

I suddenly become devoid of all creativity in terms of claiming the hill, and just push you off it.

I, Cabbage, and SamuRaichu claim the hill

 

[Cel-Shaded Deku]

I disguise myself as SamuRaichu and lock both of you in a closet that is made of two foot thick steel.

I claim the hill.

 

[Cabbage]

After over 4 hours of welding and cutting, we make it out of the closet.
I get extremely mad and get a chainsaw and... You know what happens next.
We claim the hill.

 

[Cel-Shaded Deku]

But alas, that was only a clone you killed which self-destructed. I claim the hill.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

In the moment before the clone self-destructs, Midna suddenly realizes what is going on and teleports us to Castle town. When we're there, we realize that cabbage isn't looking very good, and try and get the doctor to treat her. But he wont, because she's a cabbage, and he's a racist jerk. So, we travel to Kakariko, (just by warping, we don't go through that whole wagon protection thing again) and leave her in the hands of Renaldo and Impa. SamuRaichu stays to help, and since nobody is at Telma's bar to draw us a map of the hill, I trek far and wide, collect nearly every bug, gold skulltula, and mask before I finally come to the hill, which you are sitting upon, laughing maniacally. We go through a whole cut-scene about how I'll never get the hill, and then you force me transform into zora-wolf Link. That was a bad call on your part, because as soon as Midna's out in the open, she punches you in the face with her hair, accidentally causing you to warp to arbiter's grounds directly in front of the mirror of twilight, just before someone is about to come through it. Goodbye Cell-shaded Deku. I then stake a flag in the hill to claim it and call up the kitten army, telling them to go check on cabbage, and if they're okay, to bring them here. After a few days, noone has opposed us, and we begin rebuilding our castle of awesomeness.

We already claimed the hill earlier in this paragraph, but: we claim it again.

 

[Hylian Knight]

But then Hylian Knight sees his friend Mikau Incarnate and Cabbage in the distance and asks to join the group in SamuRaichu's stead.

"Have you heard the news of SamuRaichu? Hylian Knight asks the group.

I explain through "telepathic messaging" SamuRaichu told me where to find you.

Cabbage accepts therefore Hylian Knight has joined the group.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

I look at Hylian knight, and very somberly say, "you just referred to yourself in both first and third person. By the way, SamuRaichu isn't leaving, but sure, you can still join"

After correcting this grave grammatical error of great importance, I accept Hylianknight's claiming of the hill.

 

[Firice da Vinci]

I sure feel sorry for you, MikauIncarnate. SamuRaichu has to be less active and Cabbage can't be on for the next 2-3 weeks. Anyways, I lick the hill and claim it as my own.

I claim the hill.

 

[MikauIncarnate]

Um... okay... I re-claim the hill by staking another flag in it.

The hill is mine!
And Cabbage's and SamuRaichu's and Hylianknight's!
We claim it!