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General Art If Only

Zelda's_Child

~Insert Epicness Here~
Joined
May 15, 2010
Location
Wherever I want to be
Hey ZD!!
Thought I'd show you some of my latest work. This was written as a task at school. My teacher got inspired by a writing competition, and decided that we would be tortured by it!
In the end I entered it in the competition. I havn't yet got results, so we'll see how it goes.
Note: There are Zelda references in the story... comes from me being a nerd... >.<
Note 2: SORRY DIN!!! I USED YOUR NAME BECAUSE IT IS EPIC AND I'M TERRIBLE AT NAMES SO YEAH!!! I'M YOUR #1 FAN BY THE WAY!!!!!

Alright, without further ado, here comes my story!:


IF ONLY…

Wednesday 14th March 2010
Dear Diary,
I wish I wasn’t different. Whilst my classmates have the ability to speak, and laugh together in friendship, to read without the letters turning bright colours, to look at a painting without hearing eerie noises, I do not have this luxury. I find it difficult to read and write, but it was a request from my tutor, Miss Akera. She thinks that the more I practice, the better I get. I have no way to express my feelings to her, for I am lacking the gift of speech. As a fourteen year old, this is a difficult way of life. Here, I will list all my problems.
· Synethesia
· Mute
· Odd habits
· No friends
Okay, maybe I do have a friend. But I’m too tired to write now. I’ll explain tomorrow.

Friday 16th March 2010
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe that I forgot about you yesterday! At least now my thoughts are cleared, on a Friday evening. Let’s start from the start.

My first problem is synethesia. It is a disorder that not many people have. It jumbles up your senses. They say that you cannot see music, but music has clear images to me. For instance, what people say is a flute and a clarinet, is a beautiful white frangipani flower with pink and gold tips. Speaking of flowers, when I touch at them, I get a sweet taste of honey and cinnamon in my mouth. People at school say that it isn’t normal. They don’t understand.

Another problem of mine is that I’m mute. That means I can’t talk. It is extremely annoying for a fourteen year old girl to express feeling just with hands, pen and paper. I try to scream, cry, shout, and whisper, but still no noise comes. I get teased so much, but I cannot respond. It is devastating.

I have odd habits. Tell me, do you know anyone who has a habit of poking their eyes, trying to push them in? Who smells things to make sure they are safe? Who checks under her bed to make sure nothing’s there? Me. Anyone who knows me, is either frightened by this strange girl, amused or starts to tease me.

And finally, I have no friends. I don’t need to explain. There is nothing more to say. Oh, I do have one friend. His name is Jackson. His touch smells of chocolate. He lends me an ear of his iPod and asks me, What can you see, Elanore? I write on my notebook what I see. He never tires of listening to my different sights, and I think he understands. He shows me his drawings, touches my hands, writes things on paper, and asks me what happens. His Y’s are a beautiful lime green, and his 8’s are a brilliant purple. I don’t know how to describe how I feel about him. I see caramel. Normal people call it love.

Saturday 17th March 2010
Dear Diary,
I saw Jackson at Kmart today. I passed him in an aisle with his mother. I touched him on the shoulder and smiled. He said that he was buying a present for his dad for his birthday. I tried to tell him that it was my mum’s birthday in a month, but he didn’t understand.

&shy;&shy;&shy;Sunday 25th March. 2010
Dear Diary,
I hate that doctor. I HATE him!!! Yesterday I went to a place that made me go in a strange machine, wearing a white gown. They put me through it and looked at my throat. They said they were looking to see if they could give me a voice. Frauds! I was so angry when I got out. I’d prefer to have no voice than have operations in my throat.

Friday 14th May 2010
Dear Diary,
Today was Jackson’s birthday. I’m sorry I haven’t written for a month. I’ll probably only write once in a while because I have a lot going on. Jackson gave out little chocolates to our homeroom. At recess I gave him a box of Favorites, and he shared them with me.

I’ve been to 2 doctors who havn’t been able to give me a voice. I don’t care anyway. I have my DS, and I use Picto Chat to communicate.

Friday 21st May 2010

Oh my Din!! Mum just told me last night that in 2 weeks I am going to hospital for an operation. They’re going to take out my voice box!!! I am really really scared. Jackson said that he will visit me though. That somewhat feels like soft pillows pressed against- oh wait, they call it comfort. Anyway, tomorrow Jackson’s coming over to help me play The Wind Waker on the Gamecube. I find it hard to with my synethsia.

Saturday 22nd May 2010
Dear Diary
Zelda is so much fun! Jackson came and read to me what the people were saying. The letters were going different colours, which was confusing. I smelt mint when this really weird guy named Tingle came out. Anyway, the thoughts of operations still brought me down.

Saturday 5th June 2010
Dear Diary



I’m in the hospital. Tomorrow I am going into surgery. I am giving my diary to Jackson to take care of. Just in case I die, Jackson, here is my will.
  • My diary goes to you.
  • My toys go to my cousin Amanda, except my big dog toy, which goes to my parents
  • My other belongings go to Mum and Dad.
Sunday 6th June 2010
Dear Diary,
They’re just about to call me in. Good luck to me.

Sunday 13th June 2010
Dear Diary,
Elanore died last Sunday. She didn’t make it through the operations. I miss seeing her at school. She showed me a whole new way to look at the world. Her synethesia must have changed the way I look at things. Thing is, I loved you, Elanore. Goodbye, and rest in peace, beautiful.


The


End.
 

Master

Upcoming
Joined
Sep 5, 2010
wow Chelsea. This story is just beautiful , hope you keep on writing ! Hope you Win ! ;)
 

Random Person

Just Some Random Person
Joined
Feb 6, 2010
Location
Wig-Or-Log
Oh my goodness. That was not an ending I saw coming. I'm a very sensitive Random Person so that pretty much brought tears to my eyes. I must admit, you're pretty good at writing. I was turned off by the character's Personality, she really does seem weird, but the style of writing made me want to see what would happen.

Great job on realism. I loved how you made it so she didn't write everyday. And the change in text when Jackson got the diary was very impacting. The font you used for him was perfect in my opinion.

All in all, it's not my preference of a subject to read, but you're style of writing is incredibly good if you're just judging by this story. For people who like stories like these, it's incredibly well done.
 

Zelda's_Child

~Insert Epicness Here~
Joined
May 15, 2010
Location
Wherever I want to be
:D Thankyou both of you! To tell the truth, I hate being given topics, and I personally thought this was poorly done. This isn't quite my style of writing, I felt uncomfortable near the end. There was a 1000 word limit, so I wanted to wrap it up quickly, and I did that by killing her off. Nice, aren't I? :xd:

I wanted to make her really strange and weird, because sometimes I feel like that myself. I felt quite unaccepted at the time I wrote this, and so I wanted to express that feeling through writing. Although, whenever I'm feeling down, there are a few guys that I know that I can go to and they'll usually make me feel better. So that's nice. ^^

My teacher gave it to the principal and vice principal to read, and I got two principals awards. Thing is, the vice principal at my school has synesthesia(which I misspelt in the story :dry:) as well, so that got me extra points with her.

Anyways, thanks both of you for commenting. ^^
 

Chelsie

tap the galaxy oh (◔ิз◔ิ♪
Joined
Jun 5, 2010
Location
Australia
That...Was...Awesome Chels! It's really well done. Well congratulations on the really excellent story ^^
 

knowlee

Like a river's flow, it never ends...
Joined
Jun 2, 2009
Location
USA
This was a beautiful story, ZC. It really gave me a shock when I saw what the ending of the story turned out to be. I loved this story. :)
 

Chiraku

Demon slayer
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Location
Thailand
Holy, and I thought my stories were depressing, and I'm not talking about the comedy I'm writing. Was the story supposed to be sad? Like was it a 'write a sad story' test? Another thing, I thought people hated the 1000 word capacity, while with you it's a 1000 word limit, I'm glad you like writing stories so much! :)
 

penguinboy82

Nature's troll
Joined
Mar 17, 2010
Location
Pacific Northwest
My gosh, that was incredible. That was one of the best (short) stories I have ever read. The only thing that could use improvement (and I say this with all due respect) is that it seemed like you cut it off a little quick. But, looking back, I don't see how you could have prolonged the ending more without it being "I am walking towards the door" then, "I am walking in the door" then, "Jackson is next to me" and so on and so on.
....___________
10.999999999999/10
 

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