Castle
Ch!ld0fV!si0n
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2012
- Location
- Crisis? What Crisis?
- Gender
- Pan-decepticon-transdeliberate-selfidentifying-sodiumbased-extraexistential-temporal anomaly
There have been a lot of home video game console hardware over the years, each bearing different names. Some of these names sound pretty sweet. Others? not so much...
What are the coolest and lamest?
Coolest
4.) Gamecube
Alright, so the name is a bit superficial. But at least this was the last time Ninty's gimmicks were superficial rather than a hindrance. The gamecube, despite popular opinion, may have performed as well as any other console at the time but it was its appearance that set it apart. Fun, whimsical, and something futuristic about it.
3.) Xbox 360
That's right! A full revolution in gaming. 360 degrees says it all. A new era in gaming. It's just too bad it was all down hill from there. But at least Microsoft named their console after the 7th hardware generation's pivotal place in gaming history.
2.) NeoGeo
I don't know what it means, but I like the sound of it. "New" -something? I dunno. It just rolls off the tongue, don't it? And it's fun to say.
1.) Dreamcast
Come on! What other name can invoke the notion of escapism and excitement as Dreamcast. I mean, this pretty much sums up video games in one word. New worlds and new ways of storytelling that can be brought to life like no book or movie ever could!
No points for lack of effort
These are the names that are neither good nor bad, but are so utterly generic they barely even warrant a mention.
2.) Nintendo Entertainment System
In Japan it was the "Famicom" or the Family Computer. Straightforward but catchy, right? Well elsewhere it was just the Nintendo Entertainment System, which could mean anything and takes a while to say so everyone just shortens it to N E S or nes which just sounds weird.
1.) Playstation - To Infinity and Beyond!
So the name "Playstation" is utterly generic but utilitarian. It's a station where one plays. Simple. But Sony has never broken from the naming convention of just appending numbers after each new console. In 46 years our grandkids will be playing on the Playstation 22.
Console Naming for Dummies
3.) The Nintendo Switch
Yeah I get it. The name adequately describes the functionality of the console. But as a name it doesn't exactly inspire. And there's even something a might... off putting about it. What about the act of switching can be considered fun in any circumstance? Because the only image that comes to mind when I hear the word "switch" is a leather and latex clad dominatrix wielding a whip and riding crop. Besides, how are kids supposed to take it when their parents tell them, "Hey kiddo! We're getting you a Switch for your birthday!" Scratch that. How are parents supposed to take it when their kids ask them, "Daddy! I wanna Switch for my birthday!"
2.) The Xbox One
So wait. Wasn't the first Xbox just called, "Xbox?" Is this a reboot of Xbox? So after our 360 degree revolution have we gone back to start? Oh! It's supposed to mean "All In One." Yeah well, if you have to set aside space on the box to explain the meaning of the name, then you're doing it wrong. And after all those hours spent in marketing meetings it only took whole minutes before people started calling it the Xbone.
1.) Wii
We all knew this was coming. Wii? Wii could mean anything. Wii three. Wii the people. Or my personal favorite, Wiiiiiiiiiiii!! Alright Ninty, we get it. You're cute and quirky, or at least you think you are. And I know ya'll think it's funny to make everyone go around saying "So I was playing with my Wii last night..." What does Wii even mean? How does the word Wii describe your motion control wreck, embarrassingly outdated, third party deprived, shovelware dumpster fire of a gaming device? We all know what Wii means in French. In that respect I suppose the moniker is a fitting one.
What are the coolest and lamest?
Coolest
4.) Gamecube
Alright, so the name is a bit superficial. But at least this was the last time Ninty's gimmicks were superficial rather than a hindrance. The gamecube, despite popular opinion, may have performed as well as any other console at the time but it was its appearance that set it apart. Fun, whimsical, and something futuristic about it.
3.) Xbox 360
That's right! A full revolution in gaming. 360 degrees says it all. A new era in gaming. It's just too bad it was all down hill from there. But at least Microsoft named their console after the 7th hardware generation's pivotal place in gaming history.
2.) NeoGeo
I don't know what it means, but I like the sound of it. "New" -something? I dunno. It just rolls off the tongue, don't it? And it's fun to say.
1.) Dreamcast
Come on! What other name can invoke the notion of escapism and excitement as Dreamcast. I mean, this pretty much sums up video games in one word. New worlds and new ways of storytelling that can be brought to life like no book or movie ever could!
No points for lack of effort
These are the names that are neither good nor bad, but are so utterly generic they barely even warrant a mention.
2.) Nintendo Entertainment System
In Japan it was the "Famicom" or the Family Computer. Straightforward but catchy, right? Well elsewhere it was just the Nintendo Entertainment System, which could mean anything and takes a while to say so everyone just shortens it to N E S or nes which just sounds weird.
1.) Playstation - To Infinity and Beyond!
So the name "Playstation" is utterly generic but utilitarian. It's a station where one plays. Simple. But Sony has never broken from the naming convention of just appending numbers after each new console. In 46 years our grandkids will be playing on the Playstation 22.
Console Naming for Dummies
3.) The Nintendo Switch
Yeah I get it. The name adequately describes the functionality of the console. But as a name it doesn't exactly inspire. And there's even something a might... off putting about it. What about the act of switching can be considered fun in any circumstance? Because the only image that comes to mind when I hear the word "switch" is a leather and latex clad dominatrix wielding a whip and riding crop. Besides, how are kids supposed to take it when their parents tell them, "Hey kiddo! We're getting you a Switch for your birthday!" Scratch that. How are parents supposed to take it when their kids ask them, "Daddy! I wanna Switch for my birthday!"
2.) The Xbox One
So wait. Wasn't the first Xbox just called, "Xbox?" Is this a reboot of Xbox? So after our 360 degree revolution have we gone back to start? Oh! It's supposed to mean "All In One." Yeah well, if you have to set aside space on the box to explain the meaning of the name, then you're doing it wrong. And after all those hours spent in marketing meetings it only took whole minutes before people started calling it the Xbone.
1.) Wii
We all knew this was coming. Wii? Wii could mean anything. Wii three. Wii the people. Or my personal favorite, Wiiiiiiiiiiii!! Alright Ninty, we get it. You're cute and quirky, or at least you think you are. And I know ya'll think it's funny to make everyone go around saying "So I was playing with my Wii last night..." What does Wii even mean? How does the word Wii describe your motion control wreck, embarrassingly outdated, third party deprived, shovelware dumpster fire of a gaming device? We all know what Wii means in French. In that respect I suppose the moniker is a fitting one.
But yeah, they are kinda cheesy sounding these days. Intelligent Vision and Turbo Graphics are kinda cool sounding, but just putting your company name in front of the word "vision" is rather schmaltzy.
