Boo's Pizza II: Electric BOOgaloo

[AwdryFan1997]

Cayde: But… why are we invading Wal-Mart…

*Cayde was out of it*

*Walter sighs and leans against the wall, waiting for Cayde to return to her senses. He then hears the voices of Mart and Benjamin Harrison coming from outside.*

Mart: This is exciting, you know? I can't imagine a single threat in the entire universe that could impede my grand conquest now! You and me, Ben! We will rule together! I can clear out all of Gaia's old bureaucracy from the old days, and then wipe out most of the population through L.U.C.I.N.A. Project paranoia and, of course, war. They won't recognize Gaia in a decade. Mostly because they'll all be dead! It feels good, man. This really is the Final Fantasy!

*Mart begins laughing like a racist uncle. Benjamin Harrison "gives him some side eye" as the kids say.*

Benjamin Harrison: Okay, I know we've been hanging out for months, but somehow I missed the whole "wipe out the population" thing. Are you trying to commit... genocide?

Mart: Oh, come now, Benny, you can't be getting cold feet at a little mass killing! It's just that every time I see those anime freaks, I see a little bit of Yukon Cornelius' wife, his friends, his children... it makes me uncomfortable, I guess.

Benjamin Harrison: They're human beings! They're sapient lifeforms, just like you or I!

Mart: Since when have you taken issue with murdering sapient lifeforms!? I mean-

*Mart points towards Hermey's house, where Hermey's recently deceased body lay.*

Mart: You had no trouble eviscerating little elf man back there! You did most of the work!

Benjamin Harrison: What do you gain from this!? Not having to be reminded of your dead friend who turned evil because the population of your empire looks like the population of his?

Mart: What can I say, they all look the same!

Benjamin Harrison: Mart!

Mart: Look, it was just really convenient that the details of the L.U.C.I.N.A. Project got leaked. Really... really convenient...

*Mart now begins laughing like a cartoon villain with a comical mustache.*

Benjamin Harrison: You're not saying... the L.U.C.I.N.A. Project was made up all along!?

Mart: What!? NO! That would be... okay, that would actually be a really good plot twist. But it wouldn't make any sense whatsoever! But I should remember that if I need another evil scheme. You should try that, my apprentice! Stage an incident to serve as pretext for your scapegoating! Don't have an excuse to commit heinous crimes? Make one!

Benjamin Harrison: This isn't an excuse, though! There is no excuse!

Mart: I'm gonna be honest, Ben, it sounds like you're not with me on this whole taking over the universe thing. And if you're not with me...

Benjamin Harrison: I'm against you.

*Benjamin Harrison whips out his lightsaber. Mart sighs.*

Mart: Man... I thought we had something special...

*Mart reluctantly begins electrocuting Benjamin Harrison with Force Lightning.*

Mart: This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Benjamin Harrison: [inhuman screaming]

 

[MightyMario]

*Saul tenses up*

Saul: No. Absolutely not. You are here to testify, not your toy.

James: He's right, Siy, hate to say it.

*Siy stared deep into Saul’s soul, clutching Daffy with her arm*

Natalie: Siy, it’s okay. He’ll still be there.

 

[Chevywolf30]

*Siy stared deep into Saul’s soul, clutching Daffy with her arm*

Natalie: Siy, it’s okay. He’ll still be there.

*Siy's fiery stare bothers Saul more than he would like*

Saul, to James: Listen, Shilen, you better make sure you daughter doesn't pull any funny business up there. This is a huge case and I, and all the people wronged by this doctor, would hate for it to go down because of a last minute witness, no matter what she has to say.

*James stands up and glares across the table at Saul.*

James: Ok listen here, Goodman, my daughter is right there, if you want to speak to her, go right ahead. She can understand what you're saying just as well as I can, and she's old enough to know to behave. If you don't treat my family with respect, we'll all march right out of this courtroom.

*Saul sighs and turns to Siy*

Saul: Listen, uh, darling, I need you to be a good girl and-

*Gary interrupts*

Gary: Oh please, Saul, you may be an absolute genius of a lawyer, but your personal skills are lacking. *To Siy* Siy, I need you to listen to me. This is the big chance to make sure that the doctor that lied to you, my son, and so many other kids gets the justice he deserves. I understand that Daffy may want to speak, but unfortunately, our judicial system doesn't pay much attention to stuffed toys, so you'll have to do this without Daffy. When you're up there, I just want you to think of the questions you're being asked, and if it gets to be too much, just say so.

James: Thank you, Gary. And don't forget, Siy, that your mother and I will be up there with you and we love you more than anything else in this universe or any others that may be out there.

*He gives Siy a wink*

 

[MightyMario]

*Siy's fiery stare bothers Saul more than he would like*

Saul, to James: Listen, Shilen, you better make sure you daughter doesn't pull any funny business up there. This is a huge case and I, and all the people wronged by this doctor, would hate for it to go down because of a last minute witness, no matter what she has to say.

*James stands up and glares across the table at Saul.*

James: Ok listen here, Goodman, my daughter is right there, if you want to speak to her, go right ahead. She can understand what you're saying just as well as I can, and she's old enough to know to behave. If you don't treat my family with respect, we'll all march right out of this courtroom.

*Saul sighs and turns to Siy*

Saul: Listen, uh, darling, I need you to be a good girl and-

*Gary interrupts*

Gary: Oh please, Saul, you may be an absolute genius of a lawyer, but your personal skills are lacking. *To Siy* Siy, I need you to listen to me. This is the big chance to make sure that the doctor that lied to you, my son, and so many other kids gets the justice he deserves. I understand that Daffy may want to speak, but unfortunately, our judicial system doesn't pay much attention to stuffed toys, so you'll have to do this without Daffy. When you're up there, I just want you to think of the questions you're being asked, and if it gets to be too much, just say so.

James: Thank you, Gary. And don't forget, Siy, that your mother and I will be up there with you and we love you more than anything else in this universe or any others that may be out there.

*He gives Siy a wink*

*Daffy eventually traded hands and ended up in Natalie’s purse with Stitch*

Natalie: It’s going to be okay. We’re all going together.

Siy: Okay…

 

[Chevywolf30]

*Daffy eventually traded hands and ended up in Natalie’s purse with Stitch*

Natalie: It’s going to be okay. We’re all going together.

Siy: Okay…

*In court*

Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth: The plaintiff calls to the stand James Shilen, Natalie Shilen, and Siy Shilen.

*The family walks up to the witness stand*

Saul: Ok, Mr Shilen, how did Dr Fakename wrong your family?

James: He claimed my daughter had a condition called "Vestrail’s Syndrome," causing her vocal cords to never form. However,

*He motions to Siy, her cue to speak*

 

[MightyMario]

*In court*

Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth: The plaintiff calls to the stand James Shilen, Natalie Shilen, and Siy Shilen.

*The family walks up to the witness stand*

Saul: Ok, Mr Shilen, how did Dr Fakename wrong your family?

James: He claimed my daughter had a condition called "Vestrail’s Syndrome," causing her vocal cords to never form. However,

*He motions to Siy, her cue to speak*

Siy: What’s up? I can speak.

 

[Chevywolf30]

Siy: What’s up? I can speak.

I have very little knowledge of how a courtroom works, I'm just winging it here

Saul: How old were you when you discovered that you could?





*Horace Reavis Smith, Fakename's lawyer, leans over to Fakename and whispers*

Horace: Are there any records of this diagnosis? Especially in posession of the family?

 

[MightyMario]

I have very little knowledge of how a courtroom works, I'm just winging it here

Saul: How old were you when you discovered that you could?





*Horace Reavis Smith, Fakename's lawyer, leans over to Fakename and whispers*

Horace: Are there any records of this diagnosis? Especially in posession of the family?

Siy: 13. Mom and I were captured by Nightmare Fleet soldiers on the Hyrulian peninsula. I just kinda… spoke. “Mama.”

Fakename: Yes, in my file folder. I have all the families.

 

[Chevywolf30]

Siy: 13. Mom and I were captured by Nightmare Fleet soldiers on the Hyrulian peninsula. I just kinda… spoke. “Mama.”

*James tenses up. Saul shoots him a death glare.*

James: Siy has a very active imagination, all that really happened was security on a ferry boat pulling us aside on a random search while we were on vacation in the Keys one year. Sorry for the confusion.

Saul: Anyway, you're now 14 so you've only been speaking for the past year or so, correct?

Fakename: Yes, in my file folder. I have all the families.

*Horace groans*

 

[MightyMario]

*James tenses up. Saul shoots him a death glare.*

James: Siy has a very active imagination, all that really happened was security on a ferry boat pulling us aside on a random search while we were on vacation in the Keys one year. Sorry for the confusion.

Saul: Anyway, you're now 14 so you've only been speaking for the past year or so, correct?


*Horace groans*

Siy: It’s the truth, Dad… Mr. Goodman said to be on my best behavior. That means I have to tell the truth… even if it sounds made up.

*Siy took in a deep breath*

Siy: We were trying to find my sister and stop Wart Mamu from taking over the multiverse and killing every version of my sister…

Fakename: Your Honor, this is ridiculous. This child clearly chooses to believe in sci-fi and fantasy. That duck in her hands shows that she probably hasn’t mentally matured past age 7. Are you sure this witness can provide with a truthful account of what really occurred?

 

[Chevywolf30]

Siy: It’s the truth, Dad… Mr. Goodman said to be on my best behavior. That means I have to tell the truth… even if it sounds made up.

*Siy took in a deep breath*

Siy: We were trying to find my sister and stop Wart Mamu from taking over the multiverse and killing every version of my sister…

Fakename: Your Honor, this is ridiculous. This child clearly chooses to believe in sci-fi and fantasy. That duck in her hands shows that she probably hasn’t mentally matured past age 7. Are you sure this witness can provide with a truthful account of what really occurred?

Saul: The circumstances behind her regaining her ability to speak are irrelevant if the fact remains that she was, at one point, unable to speak!

H.R Smith: And what evidence is there of that? Other than the word of her parents, I want a third party.

Saul: I actually do have documents here, from Mr Shilen. One is the original report from Dr Fakename with the diagnosis, the other is her middle school enrollment form, where it's noted that she's nonverbal, this document is signed and dated by the principal.

Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth: Order in the court! Does the plaintiff have any more questions for the witnesses?

Saul: I do not, your honor.

*James leans to whisper to Siy*

James: Try to, I don't know, keep it believable. Just be careful about what you say.

Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth: The court will now hear the defense's case.

*H.R. Smith leans into Fakename*

H.R.: I have some questions prepared, but is there anything you want to ask?

 

[MightyMario]

Fakename: Mrs. Shilen, if what your daughter is saying is true, how can you explain returning from the dead?

Natalie: …what?

Fakename: You apparently died last year, correct?

Natalie: I-I, um, that-

*Fakename smiled. He got her.*

 

[Chevywolf30]

Fakename: Mrs. Shilen, if what your daughter is saying is true, how can you explain returning from the dead?

Natalie: …what?

Fakename: You apparently died last year, correct?

Natalie: I-I, um, that-

*Fakename smiled. He got her.*

Saul: Objection your honor, this isn't about her.

James: Yes, she was legally declared dead, but she had actually just gone missing and we jumped to conclusions.

*He whispers to Siy: Don't say anything about this*

 

[MightyMario]

*Siy clutched Daffy as hard as she could: coming to the point of a particular roadblock. Does she go along with what her father wants her to do or does she tell the truth? It was all getting to her.

As Fakename, Goodman, and the two parent Shilens discussed and debated about the legality of these questions, the world began to shrink for Siy. Everything became fuzzy as the voices, both familiar and unfamiliar colluded into a mish-mash of noise. Her lip quivered, her eyes darted, and her body quaked. Daffy began to loosen from her grasp.

Siy couldn’t seem to stop it, whatever was happening. Her brain went into overdrive, and the court case became a secondary thought. The courtroom was no more in Siy’s vision, it all went blurry from the tears in her eyes. Eventually it all collided together into a landscape of chaos, unfolded before her very eyes.*

 

[Chevywolf30]

*Siy clutched Daffy as hard as she could: coming to the point of a particular roadblock. Does she go along with what her father wants her to do or does she tell the truth? It was all getting to her.

As Fakename, Goodman, and the two parent Shilens discussed and debated about the legality of these questions, the world began to shrink for Siy. Everything became fuzzy as the voices, both familiar and unfamiliar colluded into a mish-mash of noise. Her lip quivered, her eyes darted, and her body quaked. Daffy began to loosen from her grasp.

Siy couldn’t seem to stop it, whatever was happening. Her brain went into overdrive, and the court case became a secondary thought. The courtroom was no more in Siy’s vision, it all went blurry from the tears in her eyes. Eventually it all collided together into a landscape of chaos, unfolded before her very eyes.*

*James grabs her and leans her against Natalie. H.R Smith notices this and moves in for the kill.*

H.R. Smith: Will you look at that! Just as their case starts to fall apart, little Miss Shilen conveniently collapses! I'm not buying it!

*James looks ready to throw hands with H.R. Smith right then and there, but a look from Saul reminds him what's at stake here. Before James or Saul can speak, Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth speaks.*

Judge Harold P Worthamshire the IVth: Mr Smith, despite repeated warnings throughout this case, you have continued to treat the plaintiff's witnesses with utmost disrespect. You are dismissed.

H.R. Smith: You can't do this, your honor, I am here to represent my client and-

*Two police officers grab H.R. Smith and escort him out of the courtroom*