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I put on the bunny hood and catch up to you with ease, plucking the cookie lightly from your hands and replacing it with a gold rupee, which is cool (and weird) enough that it slows you for a moment. When I hear you yell "HEY!" and start running faster, I do too and make it to the Temple of...

I come out from behind a tree and bait you charismatically with a larger, fresher, fake cookie. When we exchange, i run off maniacally and use my Longshot to reach Death Mountain, quickly chaining shots along boulders with pre-cut indentations the Longshot hook can latch onto. I HAVE THE COOKIE

I find Navi and squeeze her in my half-consious delirium until she finally uses the neat fairy healing thing and LEAVES. Then while you are distracted oogling over the cookie in your hands, I use the same stick to bash your head in. Hey, whatever works. I pluck the cookie neatly from your lap. I...

At the last second, my heroic companion that just happens to be able to warp everywhere(read: Midna) brings my Zora armor and shoves my helmet on my face just before I drown. Being immune to the scrams, she kills the Redeads and helps me bust open the wall with water bombs(hey, they're rocks). I...

I g talk briefly with Hitler's grandson. Using my smooth talking skills and my sword(just a little bit) I can easily coax him to find and dominate all third-world countries. I come with him, and scour the countrysides for survivors. You are somehow among them. I whack you face with an...

Are you kidding me? Who needs a Loftwing-Roc's cape, y'all. I fall slowly, still holding the not-so-true cookie, that is technically still the true cookie since you can't eat a Cookizard. My befuddled mind struggles with Igos du Ikana. As I stagger through the fields of Hyrule, Link mistakes me...

Of course I don't have enough badges. I play neother Pokemon nor Cookiemon. This whoe time, I was wearing my fireshield earrings, so I did not die. The lava would've been lethal if not for the Gorons, which I befriended long ago. They save me. I tell them my story ,and take them to the...

I find you on the top of Death Mountain, where my Loftwing is injured. My Loftwing dies. In anger I kill the first thing in sight, which is you. I see the cookie you dropped before you fell down(the probably non-lethal) Death Mountain. Its oered in stomach acid, who would eat that? Nonetheless...

I'm up on Skylot now, thanks to Farore's Wind. I call my loftwing and attack you from above. My Loftwing gracefully loops back upwith you in her claws, drops you into lake Floria for about 3,000 feet up, and we fly back down to snag the cookie. I HAVE THE COOKIE.

I arrive, and after reading through well over 2,000 posts and getting the feel of my enemy's strategy, I decide to distract you with the sound of my Phantom playing the Song of Time a ways off. As you slowly walk towrds the sound, I slyly send Ciela at you with the hammer...prime it...BANG...