How Do You Start/Continue a Conversation?

[Eduarda]

Little mini-question if anyone wants to answer, if your sort of stuck with someone you don't know for an extended period, say if your waiting for something/someone, at work or school or just out and about, would you try and spark up conversation or sit in silence?

I definitely prefer the silence. It's not that I'm rude and cold. But I am awkward and shy, and not good at making conversations. If someone would try to speak to me, I would get nervous quickly. I prefer the silence anyways. I don't know why. I never liked unnecessary noise and loud sounds too much. If someone tried to make a conversation, I would try to answer to the best I can, but I would get nervous and skip over a lot of things or get confused. If they tried to start a conversation, and my awkward answers made it die out, I would feel pressured to try to continue the conversation as I'll feel bad. But I won't do a good job at it I'll probably just bounce the questions they asked, back at them. And then I would be to nervous too say anything else.

 

[CynicalSquid]

I definitely prefer the silence. It's not that I'm rude and cold. But I am awkward and shy, and not good at making conversations. If someone would try to speak to me, I would get nervous quickly. I prefer the silence anyways. I don't know why. I never liked unnecessary noise and loud sounds too much. If someone tried to make a conversation, I would try to answer to the best I can, but I would get nervous and skip over a lot of things or get confused. If they tried to start a conversation, and my awkward answers made it die out, I would feel pressured to try to continue the conversation as I'll feel bad. But I won't do a good job at it I'll probably just bounce the questions they asked, back at them. And then I would be to nervous too say anything else.

I agree with you.

Whenever my father introduced me to someone they would say "Hi." and I'd just let out a soft grin. My father tells me I'm being rude, but it's actually because I'm shy and awkward. I like silence anyways. I'd much rather sit in a room with someone in silence then try to make conversation. I try to make conversation with people who talk to me though. I usually just give short answers and then remember something I wanted to say later but couldn't because I was too nervous. If I'm with a close friend though, I feel pressured to start a conversation or continue talking. That doesn't work out though because it's 2 minutes of talking and 5 minutes of talking (those were random ratios by the way.)

Anyways, I like silence better than pointless small talk when I'm physically with someone. I only talk when I have to and don't like talking in any other situation..

 

[Yuuago]

I don't usually engage in casual conversation. If I speak to someone, it's because I have something specific that I want to say to them; to ask them about something, or whatever. And then after I say everything that I need to say, I'm done. I'm aware that this isn't really considered acceptable in some areas, but... I find that drawing things out longer just ends up boring for both people involved.

(The same goes for online conversation. I usually only message someone if I have a specific thing that I want to say. This is partly why I don't chat any more; I run out of things to talk about)

The typical "small talk script" in my city generally involves greeting someone. Then the two of you complain about the weather. After you're finished complaining about the weather, you complain about traffic. After that, you grumble about how the city planners don't know what they're doing. I'm not sure what comes after that. Probably the weather again.

 

[Firice da Vinci]

How do I start a conversation? With strangers, my combination of introverted and shy side consume me, making it nearly impossible to start much of anything. Most times other people can start one for me. A majority of people at school already have a decent grasp on my personality type and can pick out the best topics to match it. Though rarer, I do occasionally "begin" conversation. Normal greetings are reserved for when I feel uncomfortable, but such an instance sets communication to naught. For casual meetings, I prefer to be spontaneous. For example, the optimal starters are, "I'm wearing pajamas under muh pants!" and "Sup, my fellow thuggies. I got Dits fer days." No seriously, words like that emerge from my mouth.

Continuing a conversation is a different story. It is possible that when my mood is not performing at its best, the "meet-and-greet phase" may never be passed. See, my self-esteem can be easily tarnished when someone either ignores me or seemingly did not hear me. I begin to question why any effort to get friendly was ever put forth. This leads to mild or medium depression stirring up inside, which certainly does not help the situation. In fact, I might just walk away and do whatever until I cheer up of get and excuse to leave. That is what happens to an introvert that show extroverted qualities--it becomes difficult to express your other half.

 

[Curmudgeon]

Little mini-question if anyone wants to answer, if your sort of stuck with someone you don't know for an extended period, say if your waiting for something/someone, at work or school or just out and about, would you try and spark up conversation or sit in silence?

It depends. If they're buried in their phone or a book, I'll generally leave them alone. If there's eye contact at any point, I'm probably going to say something, though I don't try to force a conversation that is clearly an annoyance to the person I'm trying to talk to. Thinking about it, people tend to talk to me first and I'm usually willing to engage in some harmless small talk. If anything, it helps pass the time.

 

[Salem]

Keep it serious, thanks.

I am, I just wanted to summarise how awkward I am in starting and continuing conversations in real life with a joke kinda..

 

[Violet Link]

I don't start conversations, because I'm the person who ends it. But if I want to keep it going and going, I'll just think of something and go with the flow with the topic. I don't really know how to start a conversation and if I actually even gonna start, no one really will talk about it...

 

[Beauts]

I think the best way to fill a silence or to continue a dying conversation is to compliment the other person. Like 'oh by the way I like your insert thing'. They'll usually be like oh thanks and then get renewed interest in talking to you, therefore make more effort themselves to keep the conversation going. If you can't think of anything you like about that person and you are only there with them for some banal antisocial reason aka group interviews or something, either make something up talk about something generic like yes, the weather, or the decor, or how tired you are or something.

Side note on the Oscar Wilde quote: talking about the weather is not unimaginative if you live in a country with changeable weather, something Mr Wilde should have realised methinks. Here in England you get 4 seasons a day, so there's always something to say. If you live somewhere that never does anything, for example is always sunny, always rainy, always snowy etc, you're kind of screwed, however. I would suggest you go back to the compliment thing.

If the person is still antisocial despite the above efforts, they are a lost cause. Some people are just meh.

 

[Salem]

Side note on the Oscar Wilde quote: talking about the weather is not unimaginative if you live in a country with changeable weather, something Mr Wilde should have realised methinks. Here in England you get 4 seasons a day, so there's always something to say. If you live somewhere that never does anything, for example is always sunny, always rainy, always snowy etc, you're kind of screwed, however. I would suggest you go back to the compliment thing.

What? Why is England?

 

[Beauts]

What? Why is England?

Well obviously other places, but some people live in static climates that don't change much. I've only ever lived here so I can't speak for other places.