How Do You Start/Continue a Conversation?

[Eduarda]

If you want to speak to someone you have never spoke to, or don't speak to often, how do you start the conversation? After an "hi" or "hellos" of course.

If a conversation is dying off, but you don't want it to stop, how do you continue it?

- - -

When continuing a conversation, I usually fall back to the "So what are you doing" or "How are you" online. Sometimes, I look around me to see if I can see something I can talk about. I don't start conversations unless I actually have something to say

 

[Terminus]

Starting a conversation?

Honestly I don't ever start conversations. Too awkward.

As for keeping a conversation going, if it's a video call, I'll start looking for unusual things in my room .

 

[Curmudgeon]

A simple introduction usually works. You have to be a student of people. How are they dressed? What are they carrying? Are they presenting any contextual clues that might reveal their tastes, interests, or personality? What does their mood appear to be? Posture? Social standing? All of these things are important. Make a clever observation. Tell a joke (unless you're nervous. This never works). Ask them questions that aren't personal but reveal bits of semi-personal information. Figure out what they do for a living and like to do in their free time. To keep a conversation going, you have to be good at asking questions. Most people like talking about themselves at least a little, even introverts. Asking insightful questions also creates the impression that you're a good listener (even if it's not true)

This is one of the reasons why it's important to be well-rounded. Having a shallow or very narrow set of interests makes it very difficult to communicate in a meaningful way with people outside of your comfort zone. Having a broad set of interests (and being able to talk about them) also creates the illusion that you might just be interesting.

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

It takes a lot of practice and you fall on your face a lot, but failure is part of trying.

 

[Clank]

Online, it depends, with my friends I just start talking random stuff(like how to properly punch someone), whereas with others I just only am polite and do not try to keep conversation going usually.

Physically, I have yet to figure out how to hold a conversation... people that I try to talk to tend to leave quite quickly, I can't figure out why...

 

[Justac00lguy]

Conversations should always seem natural in my opinion. I hate forced conversations with no real meaning or backbone. They should just flow normally and both people should bounce off each other - not literally, lol.

Starting a conversation with a simple "Hi" is a good way to start; however, it's best to expand upon an initial greet and jump straight into a question, especially if it's someone new. If you're newly acquainted then it's best to find out things about each other first, which is by asking questions for course. That way you find mutual interests and an insight into the type of person you're talking to. This is the way I decide how much I like the person or how I speak to them (tone, humour etc.).

For example, if the person I'm speaking to is quite reserved then I'll be slightly reserved to; however, if that person is laid back and has a similar sense of humour to myself then my natural personality will come out. I don't to think this is necessarily changing your personality to fit the person, but instead, adapting it. I find I can get on with a lot of different sets of people in life and I think it's one of my advantages.

Anyway, about holding a conversation. If this is a struggle to you, and you really want to speak to said person, then you should be able to get round it somehow. Like I said before though, conversations shouldn't feel forced or awkward especially when you like that person, but sometimes it can be nerves and social anxiety. The best way to counter this is to come across quite confident. It's not exactly easy to come across confident, but if you have that state of mind then all that anxiety will go and you'll be able to act yourself and communicate as if you were talking to a fellow family member or best friend.

 

[Mellow Ezlo]

I am a terrible conversationalist both online and off, so I always have to look for ways to start a conversation.

Most of the time, I don't start conversations at all, because I have no freaking clue what to say. If I say "hi", then they say "hi" back, it makes it even harder to figure out what to say next. So I'm usually just like "so...", then it carries on from that point. Occasionally, I'll think of something to talk about, then I'll mention it to someone as a means of initiating a conversation. But most of the time, I don't start conversations, I just wait for somebody else to start one.

 

[Salem]

What's a "conversation"?

 

[Blue Canary]

I ask them about what they've been doing.

 

[Sadia]

Simple: I ask "Will you marry me?"

Works like a charm :yes:

Spoiler

But really, small talk isn't that hard, as long as you have some background knowledge of the person. If you know what they're into, their hobbies and interests, you just ask them about that. They'll ramble for a bit, then they'll ask about you, and you'll ramble for a bit. *Poof* Conversation! If you don't know the person, well, get to know them :xd: Ask anything.

Online. Well... idek

 

[CraptainFalcon]

I don't know... I just talk. I usually don't run out of thing to say. If I'm talking with a girl, I make them laugh or something and that usually keeps things going fine. When I'm talking with my friends, I say stupid boyish crap and stuff. Now online is different. I just talk and wait for a reply.

Now Omegle is something else for another time...

 

[Vanessa28]

What's a "conversation"?

Keep it serious, thanks.

You could always start with the reason why you wanted to start a conversation in the first place. Like on this forum you can say something like: I saw some of your post and I like it. And maybe start asking if they like games and how long they are a member etc. Just the usual stuff. Most people like a convo but don't know what to say themselves. If people keep on replying with one word or a single smiley you can tell they don't really have that much to say or don't wanna talk so you can move on

 

[Mercedes]

I dunno, I just sort of... say words. Words in a sentence that are about something that's interesting.

If I've never met someone before usually I ask about them and find out what they like, really. Just find something you can both talk about and then it's just chit chat. I mean, usually I have a reason to start a conversation with someone anyway, but if its just friendly meeting then yeah, talk about things you have in common. Like where you are, what your doing, and then as I said just ask them about themselves or they'll ask you about you, and talk from there!

 

[CynicalSquid]

Online, I just try my best to say something interesting or just force them to continue the conversation.

Physically, I never talk unless I have to so I almost never start a conversation and rarely continue a conversation.

 

[Mercedes]

Little mini-question if anyone wants to answer, if your sort of stuck with someone you don't know for an extended period, say if your waiting for something/someone, at work or school or just out and about, would you try and spark up conversation or sit in silence?

Like, when I had an interview at a University and there was 3 of us asked to wait for an instructor to come down and see us, we got sat in a room for a few minutes and I tried to talk to the other 2 people but they didn't say anything and were happy to just sit in stony silence till the guy got back. :/ And on the other side when I was getting a train to Manchester I didn't have a seat and set next to this guy and we just chatted the entire way till I had to get off. I like that more, can meet some friendly people! Never know who you might meet.

 

[Wolf Sage]

I don't start conversations, and I have no clue as to how to do so. I am even worse at keeping conversations going. This is something that I've been trying to learn for quite some time now, and I'll probably be long dead before I even begin to figure it all out. Anxiety wins.