What do you consider a friend?
- Thread starter Dio
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CrimsonCavalier
Fuzzy Pickles
I found that, personally, facebook "friends" are not really friends. A real friend is someone that you talk to in real life. It doesn't have to be in person, but just "liking" something they post doesn't constitute friendship. That said, I think facebook is stupid.
But in real life, a friend is someone that you have things in common with, someone with whom you can have conversations, someone that will help you if they can, and someone that you can trust. I think being a friend means being trustworthy, but you also have to have a connection with her/him.
Someone that you casually chat with I don't consider a friend. That's more of an acquaintance. You can be on friendly terms with them, but once you move on with your life, you won't stay in touch with them. Maybe they are short-term friends.
But in real life, a friend is someone that you have things in common with, someone with whom you can have conversations, someone that will help you if they can, and someone that you can trust. I think being a friend means being trustworthy, but you also have to have a connection with her/him.
Someone that you casually chat with I don't consider a friend. That's more of an acquaintance. You can be on friendly terms with them, but once you move on with your life, you won't stay in touch with them. Maybe they are short-term friends.
Unless my Facebook/Twitter friends are also real life friends, I treat them more like acquaintances. I attend many events so I meet many people, including actors who I also work with as a liaison on occasion, and tend to gain a lot of fans following me and chatting with me. I treat them respectfully but I never cross any line because they are usually attempting to be friendly to gain attention from the actors I know.
My real life friends are the ones that I'm always there for and who are always there for me. My childhood friend and I are still in contact after over 20 years, and we can rely on each other for anything. For me, if you're my friend, it's because you are someone I trust with my secrets and my life. You are someone I love and consider part of my family, someone who I can joke with and be myself and not have to wear a mask when I'm around you. Someone who I can go months without speaking to, but we remain friends because we know when we have a free moment we will see each other. Those types of friendships take years and respect from both sides.
On forums like this, I am friendly and open to a fair extent if you are too, but like on social networks, those friendships never run deep because unless you are lucky enough to find someone you click with in a genuine way, most of the time that person is not what they seem. I did meet a guy recently, who I connected with in an amazing way, but it ended painfully for me and I have been careful ever since then.
My real life friends are the ones that I'm always there for and who are always there for me. My childhood friend and I are still in contact after over 20 years, and we can rely on each other for anything. For me, if you're my friend, it's because you are someone I trust with my secrets and my life. You are someone I love and consider part of my family, someone who I can joke with and be myself and not have to wear a mask when I'm around you. Someone who I can go months without speaking to, but we remain friends because we know when we have a free moment we will see each other. Those types of friendships take years and respect from both sides.
On forums like this, I am friendly and open to a fair extent if you are too, but like on social networks, those friendships never run deep because unless you are lucky enough to find someone you click with in a genuine way, most of the time that person is not what they seem. I did meet a guy recently, who I connected with in an amazing way, but it ended painfully for me and I have been careful ever since then.
Kyru
WOAHHHH!
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
Okay, I have like a grading system for friends that comes with a slight description but I feel it applies to everyone.
Good friends: These are those people that you talk to about anything and have trust with saying it to them. You have actually met them and done something more than simply talk, even if it is talking in person I consider this a movement past just talking. These are the people you would want to invite to do things with you like movies or sports activities or to simply hang out with. These are the people who will be there to help you with anything at any time they can. This category includes those best friends that you have had for years and your absolute best friends.
School friends/work friends: These are the people that are merely friends at school/work. You buddy with them in a class/work to make the time be less boring. Also, to keep you from going completely insane. These are above your acquaintances because you are on the verge of asking them to do things more frequently. These people you may ask to do 1 specific activity with because that's all you have in common but besides that 1 activity you don't really bother asking them to do things.
Acquaintances: These are the people you buddy up with for a single event, like a big project of sorts. You work very hard with them for more time than usual but enjoyed working with them. In this case, in passing you will say hello again and be polite but you never really do anything with them after the project/event is over.
NOW! This ranking system doesn't mean if you are in one category you are stuck there forever. This is just in general. So a majority of those social media "friends" are more just acquaintances. But if you think of it in this sort it's kinda depressing because you realize how few friends you have but it's true. Not everyone is a Good friend, most of them are just school/work friends or acquaintances.
Good friends: These are those people that you talk to about anything and have trust with saying it to them. You have actually met them and done something more than simply talk, even if it is talking in person I consider this a movement past just talking. These are the people you would want to invite to do things with you like movies or sports activities or to simply hang out with. These are the people who will be there to help you with anything at any time they can. This category includes those best friends that you have had for years and your absolute best friends.
School friends/work friends: These are the people that are merely friends at school/work. You buddy with them in a class/work to make the time be less boring. Also, to keep you from going completely insane. These are above your acquaintances because you are on the verge of asking them to do things more frequently. These people you may ask to do 1 specific activity with because that's all you have in common but besides that 1 activity you don't really bother asking them to do things.
Acquaintances: These are the people you buddy up with for a single event, like a big project of sorts. You work very hard with them for more time than usual but enjoyed working with them. In this case, in passing you will say hello again and be polite but you never really do anything with them after the project/event is over.
NOW! This ranking system doesn't mean if you are in one category you are stuck there forever. This is just in general. So a majority of those social media "friends" are more just acquaintances. But if you think of it in this sort it's kinda depressing because you realize how few friends you have but it's true. Not everyone is a Good friend, most of them are just school/work friends or acquaintances.
misskitten
Hello Sweetie!
I guess I have four categories and some of which have some blurred lines.
There are my close friends, the people who I trust to be there for me if I ever need them. These are people who've come into my life at different times, but who have stayed with me for a long time and show no sign of ever leaving.
There are my other friends, people who I enjoy spending time with, but who I may not yet have bonded with on a deeper level. These are people I hang out with regularly, like my boardgaming friends who invite me to their game nights and come to mine and who I otherwise see at our weekly club meetings.
There are my internet friends, here I don't just count anyone I talk to on the web, but people I interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis. A lot are actually people I've met in real life, but who live too far away from me for us to hang out any other way than on the web. A lot of them are people I've gotten to know through conventions, so I see them whenever we attend the same events, but some are people I know from other things. These are the people who I feel close to, but sadly am not physically close to.
And then there are my acquaintances. People I've gotten to know through things like school, work, etc. Perfectly fine people, just not anyone who I interact with much outside of work/social media.
There are my close friends, the people who I trust to be there for me if I ever need them. These are people who've come into my life at different times, but who have stayed with me for a long time and show no sign of ever leaving.
There are my other friends, people who I enjoy spending time with, but who I may not yet have bonded with on a deeper level. These are people I hang out with regularly, like my boardgaming friends who invite me to their game nights and come to mine and who I otherwise see at our weekly club meetings.
There are my internet friends, here I don't just count anyone I talk to on the web, but people I interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis. A lot are actually people I've met in real life, but who live too far away from me for us to hang out any other way than on the web. A lot of them are people I've gotten to know through conventions, so I see them whenever we attend the same events, but some are people I know from other things. These are the people who I feel close to, but sadly am not physically close to.
And then there are my acquaintances. People I've gotten to know through things like school, work, etc. Perfectly fine people, just not anyone who I interact with much outside of work/social media.
I have my good friends who I really trust and get along with very well. The friends I know are there for me for always amy me in turn for them.
Then there is everyone else. Some a lot nicer than others. Some I get along with a lot better than others. SOme are much nicer and more caring than others.
That's it. Distance or the lack of it makes no difference to me.
Then there is everyone else. Some a lot nicer than others. Some I get along with a lot better than others. SOme are much nicer and more caring than others.
That's it. Distance or the lack of it makes no difference to me.
I'm an easy going person in reality. I make friends easily but that doesn't mean the friendship is like besties forever. I did get some great support from some friends on facebook after my mom died or when my sister went into her transition (male to female) and I posted updates about her progress.
There are many people I call friends but only a few I call best friends. As I've told many times before, my super best friend died earlier this year. And this month it will be a year ago when my mom's health went downhill and she moved from earth into a better place. At times like this I do miss my best friend a lot. I often want to pick up the phone and call her and just have a fun talk as we usual had and then I'm like "shoot, she isn't there anymore."But fortunately I'm busy with work and have my mind on other things. A true friend to me is someone you can rely on in bad and good times. Someone who's there for you and doesn't complain when you call in the middle of the night. Or when you just decide to go to their home to check on them. You don't have to share the same interests in everything. It's just the deep bond. To be there for each other.
Fortunately I do have some very cool friends and have fun. I'm going to a bbq on the 22th this month with a friend from work. So I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
I also have friends I met on other forums and met in real life as well. But the distance makes it more tough to hang out and have some fun times.
There are many people I call friends but only a few I call best friends. As I've told many times before, my super best friend died earlier this year. And this month it will be a year ago when my mom's health went downhill and she moved from earth into a better place. At times like this I do miss my best friend a lot. I often want to pick up the phone and call her and just have a fun talk as we usual had and then I'm like "shoot, she isn't there anymore."But fortunately I'm busy with work and have my mind on other things. A true friend to me is someone you can rely on in bad and good times. Someone who's there for you and doesn't complain when you call in the middle of the night. Or when you just decide to go to their home to check on them. You don't have to share the same interests in everything. It's just the deep bond. To be there for each other.
Fortunately I do have some very cool friends and have fun. I'm going to a bbq on the 22th this month with a friend from work. So I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
I also have friends I met on other forums and met in real life as well. But the distance makes it more tough to hang out and have some fun times.
Malia
Passive aggressive custom rank B)
A friend, to me, is someone who is willing to stick by you when you are at your worst or lowest. It's easy to have good times together, but being there when someone is feeling like absolute **** or acting up because of other circumstances, and remaining loyal, is something I find is very, very rare, but once I find it, it's something I will guard fiercely.
I also consider a friend someone who is willing to be truthful, even if it hurts me. I don't wanna be lied to or pacified in any manner.
We do not have to have a lot in common. In fact, I like a bit of diversity between me and others because I can learn from them about things that perhaps I've not yet been exposed to. If I can have the above as a solid foundation, then chances are I'm going to love the heck out of the other person, though I understand fully finding the above is no easy feat to start with.
An acquaintance is someone who I can be friendly with and we're generally on good terms with the other person, but it doesn't really go beyond that.
As for online vs. RL: I have no distinction here. The same applies to my interactions in both areas. This isn't to say that I think every online person I come across is gonna be a shining beacon of truth lol; I get people put up facades online, and you know what, I don't care lol because more often than not a lot of us, myself included, treat the internet as an escapism. But I have found friendship so strong over this form of communication that I would eviscerate anyone who dare tried to tamper with it, for example, I have a best friend over in Canada that I visit once - twice a year and we met online before RL. I consider him to be just as valid and just as precious as I do my RL friends because he's been there for me when I've been absolutely ****ed over, and stood resolute through it all. Generally, my rule is if you dare to see me as a real person beyond the monitor before you, then I will treat you as such, but if I am just an ~internet girl~ who is an avatar and nothing else, then I'll see you the same way--no hard feelings at all.
I also consider a friend someone who is willing to be truthful, even if it hurts me. I don't wanna be lied to or pacified in any manner.
We do not have to have a lot in common. In fact, I like a bit of diversity between me and others because I can learn from them about things that perhaps I've not yet been exposed to. If I can have the above as a solid foundation, then chances are I'm going to love the heck out of the other person, though I understand fully finding the above is no easy feat to start with.
An acquaintance is someone who I can be friendly with and we're generally on good terms with the other person, but it doesn't really go beyond that.
As for online vs. RL: I have no distinction here. The same applies to my interactions in both areas. This isn't to say that I think every online person I come across is gonna be a shining beacon of truth lol; I get people put up facades online, and you know what, I don't care lol because more often than not a lot of us, myself included, treat the internet as an escapism. But I have found friendship so strong over this form of communication that I would eviscerate anyone who dare tried to tamper with it, for example, I have a best friend over in Canada that I visit once - twice a year and we met online before RL. I consider him to be just as valid and just as precious as I do my RL friends because he's been there for me when I've been absolutely ****ed over, and stood resolute through it all. Generally, my rule is if you dare to see me as a real person beyond the monitor before you, then I will treat you as such, but if I am just an ~internet girl~ who is an avatar and nothing else, then I'll see you the same way--no hard feelings at all.
