I hated puberty.
For me, it was all negative. I basically got a lot of scratchy facial hair that bothers me to this day. My skin is very sensitive; I can't use razors with more than two blades. And I can only shave every other day without irritating my skin. I have to use either an electric razor or a two-blade razor with a moisture strip to avoid cutting myself, so it takes me about an hour to shave a full beard. I'm always running out of hot water and getting frustrated when trying to shave.
The other big change that happened was that I became more aggressive and suspicious of people. I was always a bit intense, but this made it worse. I became less able to relax, trust people, or simply enjoy myself. Like I'm always on guard whether I want to be or not, like I can't let myself be vulnerable. I feel that I will never experience the kind of emotional highs that I experienced prior to puberty ever again, and will always be locked into a slightly more pessimistic and angry way of thinking for the rest of my life.
Prior to puberty, I had actually been fairly popular and well-liked because I was good at making puns, breaking up fights and resolving conflicts, and I was always approaching people that looked sad in order to comfort them about things, which usually ingratiated them to me. Plus, I was always knowledgeable about various things and people would come to me for advice, or something like that.
Oddly, I don't feel I changed as much as the other boys did, though. I didn't get much taller, I'm still only 5'6". My shoulders aren't exactly broad. My voice really isn't that deep, and it never really "cracked," and only got deeper gradually if at all. I'm still kind of androgynous looking even now at age 29. And I didn't understand what was going on between them and girls. I went through a period where I distrusted girls because I believed that other guys were falling in love with them and doing stuff for them due to the girls emotionally manipulating them on purpose somehow. Like maybe they were all sorcerers/witches and this "love" thing was some kind of weird magic spell not unlike the Charm spell in Final Fantasy. That period didn't last long, though, because I figured out that a lot of the guys were pursuing girls that didn't want to be pursued, which ruled out the idea that they were doing anything specific to cause men to like them on purpose.
It was about this time that most other guys started being cruel to me and picking on me for being weak and not having a girlfriend. I was increasingly seen as weak, whiny, manipulative, and kind of a drama queen, even though I wasn't acting any differently than I had before. So I eventually learned to act very busy and serious, in a way that made me seem standoffish and encouraged people to leave me alone (which was the best I could hope for at this point). I also became very dependent on the approval of adults (having lost the approval of my peers), and focused on my academic performance in order to ensure they remained sympathetic to me. I drew so far into myself and became so contained and controlled in public that people started calling me "The Machine" as a nickname. Everything became a hierarchy or a competition, and I was always at the bottom (unless the competition was based on knowledge or intellect). Eventually, most of my friends were women and nerds simply because they seemed not to hate me for being weak, and understood what it was like to feel intimidated by jerks and never get taken seriously. I used to make jokes about 13 being an unlucky number because it's the age at which most people go through puberty.
I was never bullied physically at school, but there was this one bully that admonished me when I asked why it was he never messed with me. I don't know why I asked, but here's what he said. "You'll never be any tougher, so you're not worth the effort. I know your type. You're weak, you're a tattle-tale, you follow the rules, you play victim, and you would probably fight dirty or be vindictive. Besides, you're so weak and uncoordinated that people would feel sorry for you and gang up on me if I tried it. Honestly, your kind make me sick."
It seems like it was worst for me as a teenager and young adult, but that as I get older, I encounter more people that are like myself, so I don't feel quite so abnormal and out of place. I've definitely made my peace with it now, though it took me a long time. Still, I don't think I'll ever honestly be able to say that I liked puberty or the effect it had on me. I'll always sort of resent how it changed me on some level, and indeed resent the fact that nature requires people to endure such changes.
..... (my arms what were you thinking weirdo) Though I did get hair on my knuckles and toes which is gross imo, so thank god for shaving.
