onebizarrekai
gay energy
this is funny. it really doesn't match the game very much, but it's really funny. I call it
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask the Altered Series.
Link: All right, Navi, let’s explore this town!
Navi: But don’t you think it’s a little weird why we’re in Majora’s Mask and we skipped the real entire beginning?
Link: It’s called the Altered Series. It’s supposed to be altered.
Navi: I get the feeling you should be asking that question I asked and I should be answering it.
Link: Navi, that’s not important right now.
Navi: Nothing is important right now. We haven’t been given a quest yet.
Link: Just come on, Navi. Hey guy, what are you doing?
Guy: These guys are pointlesss.
Link: Your workers?
Guy: Yeah. See that guy over there? He doesn’t even work. He just walks around in a circle holding a big board all day and night. Same for that guy up there.
Link: Then why don’t you tell them to work?
Guy: I HAVE!!! THESE IDIOTS DON’T LISTEN TO ME!!!
Link: Have you tried getting somebody else to tell them?
Guy: WE HAVE NO TIME. THIS BUILDING MUST BE FINISHED BY THE CARNIVAL.
Link: What carnival-
Guy: Just go away.
Link: What’s with that guy?
Navi: He’s probably just angry because his workers aren’t working.
Link: I need to find an inn. It’s almost nighttime and I have no where to sleep. Maybe it’s over there.
Inside the building…
Link: Is this the inn?
Guy: Does this look like an inn to you?!
Link: I didn’t bother to look around…
Guy: GET LOST PUNK!!
Link: Whoa whoa there. What’s with the angry attitude?
Guy: NONE OF YOUR BUISINESS PUNK!!
Gorman: Dude, fetch me a glass’a milk.
Guy: Yes sir…
Link: How come you’re being so nice to that guy and not to me?
Guy: I’M TRYING TO BE NICE!! I’D REALLY LIKE TO BE YELLING AT THAT GUY RIGHT NOW!!
Link: Why aren’t you telling me why you’re angry?!
Guy: FINE I’LL TELL YOU! The road to the Romani Ranch where we get our milk has been blocked by a giant boulder! Now we have to go to that terrible, disgusting milk from those darn Gorman people!
Gorman: EXCEUSE ME, MISTER?! DID YOU FORGET I AM GORMAN!?
Navi: You know, Link? I think it would be a really good idea to get out of here right now.
Outside…
Navi: Link, come here. This sign says ‘Stock Pot Inn’. Maybe you can get a room there.
Inside the inn…
Link: Excuse me but can I have a room?
Anju: Oh I am sorry but you need to make a reservation if you plan on staying here…
Link: Why?
Anju: Because this is the only inn in town and a lot of people don’t have houses. We’re totally booked before the carnival.
Link: Can I at least go to the bathroom?
Anju: I wouldn’t go here if I where you…
Link: Why?
Anju: Because we sort of…*got a toilet monster.
Link: You what?
Anju: Have a toilet monster. He lives in the only toilet in the inn.
Link: Have you seen it? Is it anything like a monster?
Anju: No, he’s just a hand that sticks out of the toilet. He doesn’t hurt you, but people NEVER use that toilet.
Link: You’re starting to freak me out now…
Outside…
Navi: If you have to go to the bathroom why weren’t you looking for one?
Link: Well…*Never mind that.
Navi: Does that mean you don’t have to go at all?
Link: I guess…
Navi: Uhhh!
Later…
Link: Hey, it’s a store. Maybe they got some nice things there.
Inside…
Link: Excuse me guy, but don’t you think you should be waiting for customers instead of facing the opposite way scratching your back?
Guy: Welcome!
Link: I guess he doesn’t care. Can I get some arrows?
Guy: 30 rupees, please! Enjoooy your arrows! Hehehe!
Outside…
Link: THAT GUY LAUGHED LIKE BARNEY!! WE ARE NEVER GOING IN THAT STORE AGAIN!!!
Later in North Clock Town…
Link: Balloon poopin’ time.
Navi: Pooping?
POOP
Navi: What the heck…
Jim: Why’d ya poop my balloon?!
Link: Did you really think that you’d be able to poop it with that blowgun? You kept on hitting the wrong place. You get better aim with a slingshot or bow and arrow.
Jim: Well I don’t have either of those. And it’s not called a blowgun! It’s called a pooper!
Navi: Good grief…
Jim: Well, since you pooped my balloon, we’ll make a deal! If you can find all of us before tommorow, we won’t beat ya up!
Hours later…
Jim: That took you forever. But it’s not morning yet, so we won’t. So because ya beat us we’ll teach ya the secret code to get into the sewers.
Link: How is that helpful?
Jim: The professor lives at the end’a the sewers and has some nice stuff.
The code was 15423
Link: Forget it.
One of the kids: But he has the-
Another kid: Shut up! That his most-
Jim: Shut up! Both of you! Or you’ll have to feel the wrath of my pooper!
Link: This entire town is crazy. Not all the places in this town have to be crazy!
Deku: What are you doing!? Get away from my house!
Link: But-
Deku: GET LOST. Now you shall be punished for trying to steal my house!
Link: But-
Deku: I shall turn you into something like me!
Navi: I get the feeling you’re going to be going through some fierce things right now…
BOOM
Link: What the heck has happened to me!?
Deku: There! That’s what you get for messing with me!
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask the Altered Series.
Link: All right, Navi, let’s explore this town!
Navi: But don’t you think it’s a little weird why we’re in Majora’s Mask and we skipped the real entire beginning?
Link: It’s called the Altered Series. It’s supposed to be altered.
Navi: I get the feeling you should be asking that question I asked and I should be answering it.
Link: Navi, that’s not important right now.
Navi: Nothing is important right now. We haven’t been given a quest yet.
Link: Just come on, Navi. Hey guy, what are you doing?
Guy: These guys are pointlesss.
Link: Your workers?
Guy: Yeah. See that guy over there? He doesn’t even work. He just walks around in a circle holding a big board all day and night. Same for that guy up there.
Link: Then why don’t you tell them to work?
Guy: I HAVE!!! THESE IDIOTS DON’T LISTEN TO ME!!!
Link: Have you tried getting somebody else to tell them?
Guy: WE HAVE NO TIME. THIS BUILDING MUST BE FINISHED BY THE CARNIVAL.
Link: What carnival-
Guy: Just go away.
Link: What’s with that guy?
Navi: He’s probably just angry because his workers aren’t working.
Link: I need to find an inn. It’s almost nighttime and I have no where to sleep. Maybe it’s over there.
Inside the building…
Link: Is this the inn?
Guy: Does this look like an inn to you?!
Link: I didn’t bother to look around…
Guy: GET LOST PUNK!!
Link: Whoa whoa there. What’s with the angry attitude?
Guy: NONE OF YOUR BUISINESS PUNK!!
Gorman: Dude, fetch me a glass’a milk.
Guy: Yes sir…
Link: How come you’re being so nice to that guy and not to me?
Guy: I’M TRYING TO BE NICE!! I’D REALLY LIKE TO BE YELLING AT THAT GUY RIGHT NOW!!
Link: Why aren’t you telling me why you’re angry?!
Guy: FINE I’LL TELL YOU! The road to the Romani Ranch where we get our milk has been blocked by a giant boulder! Now we have to go to that terrible, disgusting milk from those darn Gorman people!
Gorman: EXCEUSE ME, MISTER?! DID YOU FORGET I AM GORMAN!?
Navi: You know, Link? I think it would be a really good idea to get out of here right now.
Outside…
Navi: Link, come here. This sign says ‘Stock Pot Inn’. Maybe you can get a room there.
Inside the inn…
Link: Excuse me but can I have a room?
Anju: Oh I am sorry but you need to make a reservation if you plan on staying here…
Link: Why?
Anju: Because this is the only inn in town and a lot of people don’t have houses. We’re totally booked before the carnival.
Link: Can I at least go to the bathroom?
Anju: I wouldn’t go here if I where you…
Link: Why?
Anju: Because we sort of…*got a toilet monster.
Link: You what?
Anju: Have a toilet monster. He lives in the only toilet in the inn.
Link: Have you seen it? Is it anything like a monster?
Anju: No, he’s just a hand that sticks out of the toilet. He doesn’t hurt you, but people NEVER use that toilet.
Link: You’re starting to freak me out now…
Outside…
Navi: If you have to go to the bathroom why weren’t you looking for one?
Link: Well…*Never mind that.
Navi: Does that mean you don’t have to go at all?
Link: I guess…
Navi: Uhhh!
Later…
Link: Hey, it’s a store. Maybe they got some nice things there.
Inside…
Link: Excuse me guy, but don’t you think you should be waiting for customers instead of facing the opposite way scratching your back?
Guy: Welcome!
Link: I guess he doesn’t care. Can I get some arrows?
Guy: 30 rupees, please! Enjoooy your arrows! Hehehe!
Outside…
Link: THAT GUY LAUGHED LIKE BARNEY!! WE ARE NEVER GOING IN THAT STORE AGAIN!!!
Later in North Clock Town…
Link: Balloon poopin’ time.
Navi: Pooping?
POOP
Navi: What the heck…
Jim: Why’d ya poop my balloon?!
Link: Did you really think that you’d be able to poop it with that blowgun? You kept on hitting the wrong place. You get better aim with a slingshot or bow and arrow.
Jim: Well I don’t have either of those. And it’s not called a blowgun! It’s called a pooper!
Navi: Good grief…
Jim: Well, since you pooped my balloon, we’ll make a deal! If you can find all of us before tommorow, we won’t beat ya up!
Hours later…
Jim: That took you forever. But it’s not morning yet, so we won’t. So because ya beat us we’ll teach ya the secret code to get into the sewers.
Link: How is that helpful?
Jim: The professor lives at the end’a the sewers and has some nice stuff.
The code was 15423
Link: Forget it.
One of the kids: But he has the-
Another kid: Shut up! That his most-
Jim: Shut up! Both of you! Or you’ll have to feel the wrath of my pooper!
Link: This entire town is crazy. Not all the places in this town have to be crazy!
Deku: What are you doing!? Get away from my house!
Link: But-
Deku: GET LOST. Now you shall be punished for trying to steal my house!
Link: But-
Deku: I shall turn you into something like me!
Navi: I get the feeling you’re going to be going through some fierce things right now…
BOOM
Link: What the heck has happened to me!?
Deku: There! That’s what you get for messing with me!