Zelda Art Loz the First

[Keeseman]

Hello, it's finally here, the story that started our adventures in LOZ world, and if you saw our preview, you should know about the new character, the narrator. We are able to talk to him, but so our viewers know when they're supposed to pay attention to him, the words will be magenta, Okay here we go.

L.egend O.f Z.elda L.egend

ゼルダの伝説

Chapter 1: The boy's strange dream, Enter the world of LOZ!

First there was silence, then there was pixilation, then Steven realized he was lost in his imagination and was a “legend of Zelda” sprite made out of pixels.

“WOAH!” he shouted. “What’s going on, I can’t feel my legs”
He looked down then shouted: “I don’t have any legs. I think I need a hug.”

“Hello?” He called.

Hello? His echo replied.

“Is any one there?” He called back.

No. Said his echo, oh wait a minute.

“Ahhh!” Steve screamed when he noticed what happened.

“Why do you have to scream?” A voice asked.

“Who’s there?” Steve asked.

“It’s just us” Said another voice.

“Who’s us” He asked.

“Us” Said the first voice, and then John & James got up and yawned.

“You woke us up” Said John who was the first voice which Steve didn’t recognize because John sounded like a 10 year old (he is supposed to be 14).

“Yeah, I never heard you scream so loud before,” James said as he stretched his back.

“Wow,” said Steve in astonishment. “I definitely couldn’t recognize your voice! It caved out!”

“What?!” James exclaimed as he held his voice-box. “John!!” he shouted. “We’re...Ten-year-olds!!!”

“Great!!” Said John. “Now I Have to go through puberty all over again! Four years down the drain!!”

“And now my voice is squeaky again!!” said James in disgust.

“Hey!!” Steve said offended. “There’s nothing wrong with a Ten-Year-Old voice! I should know!” he said proudly. “I’m already ten!”

“But aren’t you turning Eleven this April?” John asked.

“Noooo!!!” Steve shouted in dismay. “Why is this happening?”

“Better yet,” John said. “What are we doing in the Legend of Zelda in the first place…?” John got an idea. “Weren’t we talking about something like this before we fell asleep?” he asked aloud. “Steve, how long have you been here?”

“About…ten seconds, before you guys showed up,” Steve answered.

“A-ha!” John said triumphantly. “When Steve fell asleep, he ended up in this…‘dream’, world,” John said as he observed the poor graphic background. “And we must’ve followed when he fell asleep! So whenever we sleep, we end up here!”

“Aw, Man!!” Steve groaned. “Now I’ll NEVER get any sleep!!” Steve swelled up in anger. “Once I find whoever brought us here…I shall clobber him… beat him… and use him as a cat-post!!!”

“Steve! You shouldn’t say that!” James exclaimed. “You should kick the TAR out of him!! And swat him for me when you get the chance.”

Yeah I think I know what you’re thinking if they come here when they sleep why now? Well the fact is this happens all the time, they dream, but this time they are having the same dream at the same time, isn’t it cool?

“Waaah!” the boys shouted in surprise. “Who’s there?” John asked.

Huh? What do you mean? Oh, I’m so sorry, look up. And so they d—

“Quite describing everything!!!” John shouted—“I said QUIT IT!!” Okay! Touchy! Listen here, boys! If I don’t tell the readers what you’re doing, I’m going to lose my Job!!!

“What readers?”

Forget I said it. But the point is I have to say what’s going on one way or another.

“Okay, Fine.” John sa- “but that doesn’t mean it won’t be annoying”

Yeah yeah what ever, but before we start again, any questions?

John raised his hand, (wow that is annoying).

“Do we have to be pixelated?” John asked. Oh, whoops! Sorry! Hang on a second... *FLUSH!!* The pixelation was swept away by a powerful whirlwind, leaving the boys and the background in real shape. Steve checked to make sure he had lower limbs.

"That's much better!" Steve said. Anyway, back to questions! John raised his hand again.

“Uh, why are we wearing skirts?” he asked.

They are not skirts, they are tunics! Very traditional for boys of this time to be wearing, any other questions?

“Um, do we always have to where the skirts” James asked

They are not skirts, they are tunics, and no you do not have to where them all the time, any more? Steve raised his hand. Not about the skir—tunic. Steve lowered his hand.

“Yeah, I do” said James, Man I’m getting a hoarse voice.

“Where do we start in this, this.. LOZ world” James asked

I’m supposed to narrate and help some, not say every thing you’re supposed to do! Just think of what to do.
The boy’s thought a moment, then the answer came to them as they looked to the distance, and repeated what they saw.

“Bud“ said John.

“WISE” said James.

“ER” said Steve.

 

[Zelda's_Child]

Haha, love it.

I especially like the bit about going back to ten year olds, very inventive!! ^^

 

[Keeseman]

Chapter: 2 Thirsty, Aaaand it begins

After the boys stopped saying Budwiser they stared to head in the direction of a cave with big words saying BUDWISER on top. But after a while they realised it was farther than they thought.

“How much longer?” Steve asked. No one answered-- “I was talking to you” Steve said.. Oh, you meant me, heh heh. Yeah what was that again?

“How much farther?” Steve repeated. Mm, probably another 4 miles.

“Great.” John grunted.

“How far have we gone?” James asked. About 2 miles, nuthin big.

“Oh boy.” James sighed.

After an hour of walking the boys heard a scream coming from the left. They went to investigate, and they saw an old lady being chased by bull dog, or are they pig monsters? Any way.

“Help” the old lady called out.

“What are we going to do?” Steve asked.

“Use your head.” John said.

“No thank-you, I don’t want a headache.” Steve said shielding his head.

“No, he means think, what else would we do.We have swords.” James said.
With that they jumped out and attacked the monsters (moblins). John did a down wards thrust on the leader, then James ,knowing all the basic attacks, fired sword beams at some of them, Steve took the rest out with a spin attack. The surviving moblins ran away in to the woods.
The boys then faced the old lad-- “OK OK, I think we know it’s Impa!” John shouted “yeesh, you are annoying.” Alright, then, I’ll fall out for a while. Later!

“Are you okay?” James asked Impa.

“Yeah, I’m fine and grateful that you and your friends jumped in when you did they, would have taken me to--” “Gannon” John finished.

“Yes, and now that I think about, it why don’t you help me?”

“Hm...” John pondered. “From what I’ve read, an old lady out in the woods is either a forest fairy disguised as an old hag...” Impa glared and growled at John. “Or a poor, cursed Princess.”

“...I’m not either!” Impa said angrily.

“Then we’re not interested!” John said as he and the other two began to walk away.

“But I am connected to a princess!!” Impa added.

“I’m in.” John said as he u-turned and walked back to Impa.

“I’m the nurse-maid of Princess Zelda, but she was captured by Ganon, and I was chased from the castle. I thought I could get help from an old friend, Bud the Wiser, but unfortunately I was attacked!” Impa explained.

“Hey!” James said with a snap of his fingers. “That’s where we were headed!”

“Then I’ll come with you!” Impa said. “Me and Bud have to talk!”

Let’s just cut to the chase. After a few more hours, the boys were coming towards the Budweiser’s bar. Well, to be honest, the boys weren’t walking, Impa was carrying them!! Each on one finger!

“Looks like how She was depicted in the OoX manga wasn’t fake!” James commented.

“We’re here!” Impa said as she dropped the boys. The boys rose to their feet and entered the cave with the big BUDWEISER lights on the outside. When they entered, it looked like a modern-day beer bar, with a man in a white shirt behind the bar, cleaning a cup. John walked over to the table.

“Is Bud the Wiser here?” he asked.

“He’ll be here in a second!” the man said as he spit into the cup and dropped it. As the cup shattered, he tore off his shirt to reveal a red tunic. “He’s here! You must be here for your fortune!” he said as he took out a crystal ball.

“You’re Bud the Wiser?!” James asked in disbelief. “What are ya doing in a bar?!”

“I’m a wise-man, a bar-owner, and a fortune-teller; the classic triple-threat!” Bud said with a proud smile. “Plus, nobody would suspect that the almighty Bud the Wiser would be a bar-owner!”

“Unless he was a drinker!” Steve said mockingly.

“Which I am...not!” Bud said slowly.

“We’re in a dream,” John said. “Anything’s possible!”

“That’s right!...:O” Bud looked surprised. “How’d you know?!” He demanded.

“That fish holding the sign in the crystal ball told me!” John said. Bud looked at the crystal ball and smiled nervously.

“Oh! That’s not the crystal ball!” he admitted. “I lost the crystal ball when I couldn’t find my favourite bowling ball, so I’m using this thing!”

“Cut the small-talk!” Impa shouted as she pounded the bar table. “These boys need help! The kingdom’s under siege!”

“Alright!” Bud said. “Pushy!! What do you wanna know?” he asked.

“Give them... the story!” Impa said.

“Oh come on! Not that one!” Bud groaned.

“Do it!” Impa growled.

“Alright fine!” Bud said reluctantly. “Me and Impa first met in college--”

“Not our story!!” Impa growled. “The other one!”

“Alright, When Impa was 9, she kept her pa from slaughtering a runty pig, but she had to sell it to her uncle, who was going to slaughter him until--”

“NOT THAT ONE! Give us the *beeeeeeeeep* Legend story!!” Impa swore.

“Kay fine!” Bud said as he took out a book-case.

“How did it end?” John whispered to Bud.

“The Uncle’s name became synonymous with bacon after what the pig did!” Bud replied. John drew back in horror. “The Legend of Zelda!” He took out an old tablet, dusted it off, and showed it to the boys. “It was originally in Ancient Hylian, So I used my superior translation skills to make a modern-language copy”

You call that superior translation?! Bud: Oh, sorry!

“Besides the fact that I translated this when i was in college, it predicts how when the land was under siege, the princess broke the triforce of wisdom into eight shards and hid them, for when ‘Link’ the hero would come and save her.” The boys slowly nodded their heads. “In fact!” Bud added as he began to dig under the table. “She broke the triforce... with THIS Jack-hammer!” he said as he produced a large jack-hammer. “She broke the triforce as follows:” he said as he got the Jack-hammer running and shattered the fish-bowl.

“How did that thing work?” John asked. “Is it even plugged in?” Bud picked up an electrical wire connected to the hammer.

“Nope!” he said.

“Then how’d it work?” James asked.

“I pulled the plug!” Bud said.

“On what?” Steve asked. Just then, an electric Zola entered the room from behind.

“This!” Bud said as he plugged the cord into the Zola’s navel. He turned it on again, and the Zola buzzed and zapped, and when Bud turned it off, the Zola had most of it’s life energy zapped and was a Guppy.

“ ‘Thousand rup’s a day don’t cut it!” he squeaked. “If this keeps up, I’ll be an embryo... with a jack hammer for an umbilical!!” he growled as he left the room in a huff.

“He’s payed for my little fountain of youth right here!” Bud said.

“But how come you pay him for it?” John asked.

“I didn’t say he liked it!” Bud said. “Anyway, as the legend predicts, a young hero is supposed to rescue the Princess, but since three boys is all we’ve got, I guess you’ll do. But in order for you three to make legend come true...” he said as he pulled out a long scroll. “You’ll have to sign this contract!”

“How do we sign it?” John asked. A cucco clucked near Steve’s feat. Steve plucked a feather and after charring the tip with a lighter, signed the contract, and gave it to John. John looked at the pen(cil), shrugged, and signed the contract. He handed the pen to James who signed it. Bud smiled and tucked the scroll away.

“Now then... It finally begins!” he said in a loud booming voice. “Zeruda no Densetsu: Hyrure no Fantasii!!”
...I’m bored. When’s the next chapter?

 

[Zelda's_Child]

Mwah ha ha ha ha.

That is awesome. Keep writing!!

 

[Keeseman]

Chapter 3:The Zola-kicking Granny, enter Jango the 5th!

“Boy, you’d think we’re criminals or something.” John said annoyed. They had finished talking with Bud, and after a small incident they came to a bridge and the owner wasn’t letting them pass.

“What do you mean 'or something'? You just caused that old lady to fall in to the Zola river,” said the bridge owner. He was referring to Impa, remember the small incident I mentioned in the first sentence of the chapter?

“Oh don’t worry about her! She’s one though cookie!” John replied to the owner.

“What?” the owner asked.

“Hiyaa!!!” a shout came from lake and Zolas where flung out of the river, and falling back in, after a while Impa came to the surface, swam to shore, got out of the water, and glared at the boys. "Next you don’t want good help just say so!” She shouted.

“Good advice?! You’re driving us crazy!” Steve shot back.

“Fine, I don’t want to work with you three anyway, you three are a pain in the back!” She shouted back. Impa turned around to leave, and the boys noticed that a small Zola was sucking on her back.

“OK, so your not criminals, I suppose you three can pass if you fill some information,” the owner said.

“Why?” James asked.

“Because we don’t have pass ports in this time,” the owner replied. “Now then, you have to answer these questions; 1: What is your business?”

“Adventure.” John replied

“2: Do plan to come back?”

“Yes.” James answered.

“3: What is your class?”

“Hero.” said Steve.

“4: Are you humans?”

“Yes!” All three replied. “Wait, what do mean by that?” John asked.

"Because we're sick of aliens sneaking in from the border!" he replied. "Any idea how close Hyrule is to Middle Earth?!" He asked. “You aren't elves are you? Because if your are.” The owner then pulled a lever that caused that the bridge to ... EXPLODE?! Whoa, that's someting you don’t see every day.

“You said it.” Steve sai... “Just don’t.”

"You’re crazy to just blow up your own bridge!” John said in disbelief. The owner then pulled the lever again and another bridge came up. “I always bring a spare” He said.

“OK, no, we’re not elves.” John said.

“Oh really? You have pointy ears like elves.” replied the owner.

“We are Hylians, a type of human that have pointy ears.” James explained.

“Yeah right prove it.”

Steve took out a picture that the sides of a hylian head and a elve head.

“The hylian ears are shorter while the the elves ears longer than the pointer finger.” John said.

“OK, fine! You may pass with your happy face thats following you.” The boys look around and the My face on the post...

“Stop talking now. And don’t say who's talking.” John sai... “You are impossible!"

After the boys passed the bridge, the owner watched them leave and then called his pet keese over.

“Ok, Keesey! Keep the motion capture crystal and get ready to follow those three! it’s time for another episode of Jango V!"

 

[Zelda's_Child]

Lol. I guess they don't like narrators then...

 

[theothernavi]

This is good so far. I like it! Love the LOTR reference.