• Welcome to ZD Forums! You must create an account and log in to see and participate in the Shoutbox chat on this main index page.

Do you often feel accepted?

Jimmu

Administrator
Staff member
ZD Legend
Administrator
Joined
May 6, 2012
Location
Sydney, Australia
For the most part I feel accepted. I guess there are a number of specific circumstances where I could elaborate too though.

During a few years of high school I went through somewhat of a self identity crisis where I wasn't so sure if people really accepted me, or if they would accept me if they knew me better, which caused some angst for a while but after leaving high school I eventually had the realisation that if people don't accept me I can just find other people and move on easily. Since then I think I fit in well with all my friends and I generally get along well with most people. Being as authentic as possible helps a lot I believe.

On ZD I have nearly always felt accepted. There have been a few periods where I haven't been so sure what people's general consensus about me was but at this point I feel pretty comfortable that I get along with just about everyone here when I speak with them.

As a foreigner living in Japan do I feel accepted? Generally I do feel accepted here but there are cases where it seems that people would rather not have me here due to be not being Japanese (pretty much no young people are like this) but that is very rare and I have never had anyone specifically verbalise anything to that nature toward me. I think the fact that I speak decent Japanese and have adapted myself to understand and fit into Japanese society without standing out as much as possible helps a lot on that front.

As a LGBT person do I feel accepted? In my family, yes. In my friend circle, also yes because they aren't my friends if they have any issue. In general society (in Australia) I think I would feel somewhat uncomfortable in some situations disclosing myself in public places (such as holding hands with a partner for example) because there are probably often going to be assholes around who would shout harassment. That being said, given that the vast majority of Australians voted to support same sex marriage a few years back it is clear and proven that most Australians are not homophobic and are totally accepting.

In Japan all of my friends have never had an issue with it either. People aren't really strongly homophobic in Japan on a mass scale and most people who may seem that way are more ignorant (having never met a LGBT person) than malicious since there is no traditional religious opposition to LGBT relationships in Japan. Also, even if someone is homophobic the chance of them ever confronting you or shouting rude comments in public toward you is nearly zero since people don't tend to do that here. One legal issue causing a feeling of being somewhat unaccepted though is that same sex marriage is not recognised in Japan and as a result of this foreigners who are working in Japan can not bring their same sex partners on spouse visas to live with them which is something I hope they will fix in the near future as they are likely missing out on a fair amount of decent foreign skilled workers due to this oversight (I say oversight because I am pretty confident that this is something that is not on people's radar to consider at all rather than something many people would be strongly opposed to).

This is a much longer post than I expected to write.

TLDR: mostly yeah.
 

Giri

Peter Pan
ZD Legend
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Location
India
Certainly yes........ But not in a way I expect it to be. I don't know if I'm the only person who has faced this situation. I have been accepted by 90% of the people I meet.

But

May it be my old school or new school, I was always treated as a class clown and nothing else. I'm basically a person with lotta humour sense and make ppl laugh wherever I go .
I'm a kind of guy who everyone forgets as easily as they accept me . Everyone talks with me, laughs with me enjoys my presence but hardly anyone have an intellectual talk with me. It's been a lot o yrs and I've made only a handful of besties. I don't feel lonely at all not a bit......This is kind of weird to say and I don't know how many of you understand what I'm coming at after reading this.
Worst of all ,even though most of the girls (the ones in my age)enjoy my presence, every one of them treats me like their younger brother and have bro-zoned me due to my immature nature .In all these years I haven't even been in a single relationship or a date!

I tried to change myself and be serious but that couldn't even last a week. Finally I got tired with this and stopped bothering.
 

Giri

Peter Pan
ZD Legend
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Location
India
For the most part I feel accepted. I guess there are a number of specific circumstances where I could elaborate too though.

During a few years of high school I went through somewhat of a self identity crisis where I wasn't so sure if people really accepted me, or if they would accept me if they knew me better, which caused some angst for a while but after leaving high school I eventually had the realisation that if people don't accept me I can just find other people and move on easily. Since then I think I fit in well with all my friends and I generally get along well with most people. Being as authentic as possible helps a lot I believe.

On ZD I have nearly always felt accepted. There have been a few periods where I haven't been so sure what people's general consensus about me was but at this point I feel pretty comfortable that I get along with just about everyone here when I speak with them.

As a foreigner living in Japan do I feel accepted? Generally I do feel accepted here but there are cases where it seems that people would rather not have me here due to be not being Japanese (pretty much no young people are like this) but that is very rare and I have never had anyone specifically verbalise anything to that nature toward me. I think the fact that I speak decent Japanese and have adapted myself to understand and fit into Japanese society without standing out as much as possible helps a lot on that front.

As a LGBT person do I feel accepted? In my family, yes. In my friend circle, also yes because they aren't my friends if they have any issue. In general society (in Australia) I think I would feel somewhat uncomfortable in some situations disclosing myself in public places (such as holding hands with a partner for example) because there are probably often going to be assholes around who would shout harassment. That being said, given that the vast majority of Australians voted to support same sex marriage a few years back it is clear and proven that most Australians are not homophobic and are totally accepting.

In Japan all of my friends have never had an issue with it either. People aren't really strongly homophobic in Japan on a mass scale and most people who may seem that way are more ignorant (having never met a LGBT person) than malicious since there is no traditional religious opposition to LGBT relationships in Japan. Also, even if someone is homophobic the chance of them ever confronting you or shouting rude comments in public toward you is nearly zero since people don't tend to do that here. One legal issue causing a feeling of being somewhat unaccepted though is that same sex marriage is not recognised in Japan and as a result of this foreigners who are working in Japan can not bring their same sex partners on spouse visas to live with them which is something I hope they will fix in the near future as they are likely missing out on a fair amount of decent foreign skilled workers due to this oversight (I say oversight because I am pretty confident that this is something that is not on people's radar to consider at all rather than something many people would be strongly opposed to).

This is a much longer post than I expected to write.

TLDR: mostly yeah.
@Jimmu ! you are definitely accepted as one of Goron brothers! :hug::goron: Edit :- oops I double posted!
 

Sheikah_Witch

passionate open autistic european female
ZD Legend
Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Location
Sweden
Oh no. Not always, at least. It was much worse growing up. I was the 'special kid' always being pushed around and made fun of, bullied and nobody ever wanted to accept me. Even my family had difficulties with me and practiced a lot of negligent behavior towards me.

Then of course, you do manage to find your way into places and communities as you grow up, places who are accepting of all different kinds of personalities.
But it's been hard, there always seems to be something that people hold against me wherever I go, whether it be my personality, my political leanings, my orientation, or anything else that makes me me.
So far I found the swedish fandom community, who were like a second family to me back then, a group of friends at middle school, and ZD, (In short: nerdy folks :D ) places where I feel like I can comfortably practice being myself without fear of judgment.
 

Giri

Peter Pan
ZD Legend
Joined
Aug 16, 2019
Location
India
Oh no. Not always, at least. It was much worse growing up. I was the 'special kid' always being pushed around and made fun of, bullied and nobody ever wanted to accept me. Even my family had difficulties with me and practiced a lot of negligent behavior towards me.

Then of course, you do manage to find your way into places and communities as you grow up, places who are accepting of all different kinds of personalities.
But it's been hard, there always seems to be something that people hold against me wherever I go, whether it be my personality, my political leanings, my orientation, or anything else that makes me me.
So far I found the swedish fandom community, who were like a second family to me back then, a group of friends at middle school, and ZD, (In short: nerdy folks :D ) places where I feel like I can comfortably practice being myself without fear of judgment.
:hug:
 

Castle

Ch!ld0fV!si0n
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Location
Crisis? What Crisis?
Gender
Pan-decepticon-transdeliberate-selfidentifying-sodiumbased-extraexistential-temporal anomaly
In my late pre-adolescent to mid teenage years, I had severe behavioral issues that made me a social pariah despite having an outstandingly congenial and outgoing personality early on.

But I somehow got over it and have better learned how to understand and deal with people. Since last year, I finally feel accepted for the first time. At my work. Sad that it took so long. I seriously blame my misguided parenting and society's gradual and seemingly ongoing death spiral into social ruin, but I feel as though the last few years have marked a turning point for society - and for the better, no less. Before that, I had lost all faith in my fellow human beings and I had shut myself away from them as best I could. But ever since these people joined me in making serious attempts to correct the problem, I've found that society has been far nicer and much more congenial overall. It's just an immensely minute - but influential - microcosm of society that continues to act up, and they aren't the sort I ever have to personally deal with where I'm from.

I'm the sort of person who can only be happy when other people are happy. And people are happy when they are content with the opportunities avilable to them. Prospects for people in America are improving over all. It seems like it is sadly still an ongoing fight elsewhere in the world. But so long as we can hold the malcontents at bay long enough to stabilize society, we should be okay.
 

~Kilza~

The Rising Sun
ZD Champion
Joined
Sep 9, 2019
For the longest time, the answer to this question would've been "no" from me for the most part. However, over the course of the past year that's really changed.

IRL, for the most part I've always felt accepted by my family. When I was going to school and university, I was a loner. Nobody really talked to me, so I just went and did my own thing. Hard to feel accepted when that's the case. Now, with work, I...sort of just exist? Like, I guess I am accepted in the sense that I do my work and people generally seem happy with my work, but I don't really talk to or know anybody on a more personal level so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Internet wise, it's been a bumpy road. I've sort of gone from community to community, and generally speaking I never really felt accepted. In retrospect, most of that is on me. Whether it was my own thoughts which made me feel like I didn't fit in, or just my own actions that made people turn against me (although the last time that was the case was like 2011). On the latest forum I used to frequent (but very recently stopped), I didn't feel like I was accepted even though that wasn't actually the case. Around this time last year things really changed internally for me and I was finally able to realize that I was accepted, and from that point on I was able to actually make friends there. Unfortunately, the forums went downhill, where a clique of people led by a guy who hates my guts took over and I, along with a bunch of other people, were no longer accepted.

I guess more currently speaking, I feel accepted both by my internet friends who I still talk to on Discord and in the Discord servers I'm a part of. As for these forums, it's early days. Hard to pass any real judgement, but so far I do feel accepted.
 

VikzeLink

The Destructive One
ZD Champion
Joined
Apr 4, 2012
Location
Göteborg, Sweden
Gender
Male
With my family, yes.
But otherwise, nope. Not really anywhere. I've never really felt like I belong completely. But maybe I do, just that I'm so extremely socially paranoid that I don't feel like I am unless it's super-obvious. I'm a so-called High Sensitive person, so I tend to overthink everything.
Sometimes I don't even feel like I belong here. It's like I'm thinking that you guys are thinking "Ugh, here comes the self-promoting guy that doesn't seem to care about any of us". Because in my mind it feels like I'm just being selfish and annoying, trying to push my youtube-stuff, which is not my intent, I just don't know how to social properly.

Even with my friends, I always feel like the oddball that gets to tag along only because they don't want to hurt my feelings. So the real answer for me is maybe. Maybe I am accepted and included, but my dumb, overthinking brain makes me think that I'm not :shrugs:
 

Echolight

A cat lover
ZD Champion
Joined
Nov 28, 2019
Location
The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave
I kinda feel like I belong here, but without some of you guys (especially Giri) I would probably feel like an outcast. It’s just that I am a really shy person, especially in real life, not so much on here. I just get really like, am I good enough, do I say this, or that? I just tend to overthink things and I am really uncomfortable around lots of people I don’t really know. It would take me months to finally talk to people like I do my family. (In real life) but I feel like I know you guys so well, even though I have only been here a little bit. I just want to say, thank you for accepting me.
 
Joined
Oct 1, 2016
Not so much, no. In school I never had many friends. I mean I had some that I was kinda close with but I wasn't really great a making friends. The ones I did have came from knowing them since elementary school. And any I made after that was basically because of my best friend being friends with them. But I felt like a lot of times, if my best friend wasn't around then I wasn't as accepted. Even though the two of us were close throughout basically all of school, I noticed that people would remember her but forget who I was. Our school wasn't huge, so generally everyone in the graduating class knew everyone else but I felt like that wasn't the case for me.

I do feel accepted in my immediate family. We all get along pretty well. Not so much with extended family though.

And online I guess it just depends. The mafia community here has been great and I feel mostly accepted there. But I still have moments where I feel like people don't actually like me, but just deal with me.
 
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
I don't particularly think about it. If I enjoy being around a person I try to stay in the moment, but if a person is making me feel uncomfortable I have to question why. If I believe the answer is because I'm being sensitive then I'll persist but otherwise I disconnect as I don't feel it beneficial to force myself around people I won't enjoy being with.

I guess the key is to not overthink things, which is assuredly easier said than done. If a person or group of people has asked you to be with them then they have accepted you. Assuming ulterior motives isn't particularly fair on them if you have no reason other than gut feeling to believe so. Remain wary of course, you don't want to be playing into the hands of someone who will use and abuse you. But never so wary that it robs you of any sense of belonging at all.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top Bottom