Zelda Art *cough* DERP *cough*

[Pip-Indigo-13]

Heh heh... so I wrote this story. Erm... I hope it's not too bad, lol. It's definitely not the best, thats for sure. It's the first fanfiction I ever finished. I'm still practicing writing.

I don't know why, but I enjoy writing about the beautiful scenery in Kokiri forest. This story is my take on how Link met Saria.

How Link met Saria, a legend of zelda fanfic - FanFiction.Net

I'm only 13 (going on 14,) mind you, so yeah. I'm not totally experienced, but I try my best. Criticism is quite welcome. I don't mind it at all as long as it's constructive. (But if you say it sucks thats fine, lol. xD)

 

[Pinkfish11]

Cute! the only thing I could say is that the first word of the story probably should start with "In" instead of "The". Other than that, pretty good for a first fanfic!

 

[Pip-Indigo-13]

Thanks, I appreciate it!

But... if I started with, "In" it would be, "In Lost Woods thrived of so many trees, thickets and shrubs it was like someone had dumped a bucket of green paint all over the world and smeared it with brown extract."

So... are you saying reword it so that it starts with "In" and makes sense? Hmmm... I suppose. Thanks for the feedback!

 

[Pinkfish11]

Thanks, I appreciate it!

But... if I started with, "In" it would be, "In Lost Woods thrived of so many trees, thickets and shrubs it was like someone had dumped a bucket of green paint all over the world and smeared it with brown extract."

So... are you saying reword it so that it starts with "In" and makes sense? Hmmm... I suppose. Thanks for the feedback!

Oh I meant "In the" Sorry if it wasn't clear.

 

[Pip-Indigo-13]

Oh I meant "In the" Sorry if it wasn't clear.

So, "In the Lost Woods, there thrived of so many..." I see. Would that sound better?

 

[Pinkfish11]

Yes, because it shows where the plants thrived. (and if you want, removing "of" in the first sentence and adding "that" after "shrubs" might make it flow better)

"In the Lost Woods, there thrived so many trees, thickets, and shrubs that it was like someone had dumped green paint all over the world and smeared it with brown extract."

 

[Pip-Indigo-13]

Alrighty! It's been edited. (Might take it a bit to update the file, though...)