General Art -

[Siniru]

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[*M i d n a*]

A story about cat people, eh? Cool.

 

[Woyogoyo]

There's a chapter with my character from the Starshine RP's name in it? I'm flattered.

 

[TheRizardon]

I just read the Prologue. It seems interesting. I will read the first chapter later today, then i'll tell you what I thought of it.

 

[Woyogoyo]

Pretty good so far. Two questions:
1. Why isn't Shiranui in the chapter? I mean, the chapter's called Shiranui and the light spirits.
2. Why isn't Skye annoying?

 

[Siniru]

1. He is. The end
2. Heh. Her true colours will be shown later

 

[Woyogoyo]

Okay.

 

[*M i d n a*]

I read this in several attempts, but because I was busy with some stuff. It's good, but might I suggest that you separate your sentences? The way you have it makes it look like a wall of text, and to my knowledge many readers don't like that. Yours isn't that bad, I've seen terrible walls of text before, but if you use the ENTER button and separate your sentences and your dialogue, then it will make your story better-looking and reader friendly. Check the Example if you want, just so you can see what I mean.

Example

Spoiler

There was a silent crunch as the group's paw-steps came to a halt. They were in Star's garden; square and plain with a lone washing line in the middle.

Star spoke first, her paws fiddling with her pink-winged tail as she voiced what was burdening her mind.

"How are we going to beat Nightslash? Isn't he a monster in every sense of the word?"

It was true. She was a young Mizu of unnoble birth. How can somebody so inferior beat something like that? Why...?
This is a nightmare. Just a dream. She will blink open her eyes with Maia pecking at her face. It just does not seem real.... But still, something feels weird.....

 

[Siniru]

Ok! Ill go with that.

 

[Dan]

That was near perfection in my eyes!