Romantic Advice Please?

[majoralink]

So I have liked this girl for a very long time, and she somehow found out a while ago. And for Christmas, I sent her an anonymous candy cane because she would know that it would be from me. Well she told all of her friends, and now everyone knows I like her. And I really want to try to get her know her better, or get her phone number or something, but whenever I try to talk to her, either her friends steal the conversation, or it becomes too awkward and dies out. That would be fine, but I think i'm in love with her. I haven't had much experience with love, but by all descriptions, this is it. and it's not lust. I've had that before and they're very different.

What should I do?

 

[1upmuffin]

You are not/shouldn't be in love with a girl you barely know. Also, if she knows you like her already and your conversations haven't gone well I think this isn't the girl for you and you might come off as creepy if you keep trying.

 

[Justac00lguy]

Am not sure whether you want Romantic advice or just general girl advice....

Well if you really like her and she knows there is no reason why you shouldn't tell her how you feel! Most of the time for people the hard part is to get the girl/boy they like to actually notice them, so if you have actually talked to her before it's a step in the right direction

It's common to he nervous when talking with a person you really like but the best thing to do sometimes is too just act confident! I know it may seem hard but if you get in the frame of mind that every conversation you have with her may be awkward or you think about it too much...you are bound to get nervous. I would probably try and find some common ground with her! If you have something to talk about that always helps

 

[majoralink]

I know that I shouldn't love her, or even like her, but she is honestly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I think about her all the time, and no matter how many bad things I hear about her, she just becomes prettier. I can't find anything wrong with her, her voice is so melodic, and I could talk about her for weeks. But I'll spare you the details.

The thing is, I am the opposite person that she is. I'm not handsome, I have horrible acne, greasy long hair, an arched back, and I like to think that I am nice, but I'm not sure if i'm even kind anymore. My best qualities would probably be my crappy sense of humor and somewhat smartness. And if I try to tell her that I like her in any way, the entire school will be making fun of me the next day.

 

[PalaeoJoe]

Unfortunately, 1upmuffin may be right, but justac00lguy's advice seems like good advice as well. What you may need is the advice of a girl, advice from one of them may be the most beneficial.

 

[Terminus]

The thing is, I am the opposite person that she is. I'm not handsome, I have horrible acne, greasy long hair, an arched back, and I like to think that I am nice, but I'm not sure if i'm even kind anymore. My best qualities would probably be my crappy sense of humor and somewhat smartness. And if I try to tell her that I like her in any way, the entire school will be making fun of me the next day.

Ooh. Feel your pain sir. When I liked any girl at my school it got around fast (so few students) and "Pathetic nerd has a crush" was the biggest piece of gossip. I too have an odd sense of humor that seems to work against me.

But back to the main topic, I'm in a similar situation. I like someone as well, and one of my friends found out. Fortunately it's still a secret, but the problem is the same.


Yeah this probably wasn't helpful but this was more a post of sympathy rather than help. I believe "Blind leading the Blind" would be an appropriate phrase.

 

[ThePurpleKnight]

Well when I was first trying to talked to a girl I thought was cute, before I actually had any true feelings of love for her, I was just interested in getting to know her but my friend who was trying to indroduce me had to go, but I had prepared a note incase I was unable to speak explaining my situation, she took it well and I did get to know her better and we're sort of friends, not the kind that hang out, but I have her added on facebook and stuff. Idk if my story helps you but a note might be worth considering. Girls are all different, we can't be sure any advice we give you is good advice, some girls might be more likely to talk to you if you give the a lot of attention, but others might just prefer you treat them like a regular girl, which can be difficult I bet.

 

[majoralink]

Thanks for helping everyone, it means so much to me. And there's one last thing I forgot to mention.

I think I might be wearing her down in a way. I sometimes talk to her friends, and try to include her in the conversation and we all make jokes and stuff. When I first knew her, she didn't really like my jokes. But as I tell more, she actually chuckles or laughs at some of them. And every day on the way from music to homeroom, I hold the stairwell door for her. She has never really acknowledged my doing so, but recently she has said thank you, or smiled at me. And lastly, I occasionally see her glance at me and smile.

Does any of this actually mean anything? What actions should I take next? I don't care for dating her yet (hopefully one day i'll have the honor of dating her), I just want to talk to her and get to know her, y'know, get her phone number or something. What are some ways I can start a conversation with her? How can I attempt to get her number? I'm so lost, and I really appreciate all of you taking your time to read this and respond.

 

[ThePurpleKnight]

Thanks for helping everyone, it means so much to me. And there's one last thing I forgot to mention.

I think I might be wearing her down in a way. I sometimes talk to her friends, and try to include her in the conversation and we all make jokes and stuff. When I first knew her, she didn't really like my jokes. But as I tell more, she actually chuckles or laughs at some of them. And every day on the way from music to homeroom, I hold the stairwell door for her. She has never really acknowledged my doing so, but recently she has said thank you, or smiled at me. And lastly, I occasionally see her glance at me and smile.

Does any of this actually mean anything? What actions should I take next? I don't care for dating her yet (hopefully one day i'll have the honor of dating her), I just want to talk to her and get to know her, y'know, get her phone number or something. What are some ways I can start a conversation with her? How can I attempt to get her number? I'm so lost, and I really appreciate all of you taking your time to read this and respond.

People nowadays spend a lot of time online, if you are already "friends" it may be a better idea to just ask to add her on facebook, skype or msn or something, DO NOT ASK FOR ALL, that would be considered weird, just go for one, it's all about how you bring it up to, don't just go up to her and ask her to add you, but maybe mention it if the opportunity passes. If she already knows you like her she may be noticing you more because she's thining about the fact that you like her, whether or not you do actually love her, which is not for me to question or even be a sceptic about, it's probably best you don't tell her you love her until you have gotten to know her well enough that she would believe it, can't think of a bigger way to fail in starting a romantic relationship than telling a girl you love her and her not believing it.

The fact that you don't care about dating her yet will probably help you, but if you can find out what's important to her in people without snooping around, asking her friends, or asking her, then you can compare it to how you are and see which parts of you it is better to show off, DO NOT CHANGE TO MATCH WHAT SHE LIKES IN A PERSON. That's just another form of lying and you never wanna lie to someone of whom you hold in such high regard.

Let me help you by using myself as an example, I care more than anything about a persons morality, I don't like people who are sexist, racist, or homophobic and I don't even like people who tolerate it, so if a boy liked me and he happened to be against sexism as well, it would help him to show such a thing to me, like if someone around us made a kitchen "joke" he could speak up.

Now ofc this is me, I don't know what kind of things matter to the girl you know, and if you can't figure them out without asking anybody or doing anything weird then just forget about this until you do know.

 

[GirlWithAFairy]

My advice.... ignore her. One sided relationships are never worth it and if shes being like this now then imagine what she will be like when you date.

 

[BoxTar]

Ah, young love...brings me back to my high school days...

Alright, this is coming from a guy who stumbled in and out of "love" many, many, MANY times whilst in school. So I think I'll know what's going on here, though I am not you, so I might be wrong, but let's continue anyway!

From the sound of it, you are blinded by the physical attributes of this particular female, her beauty, her voice, etc., and ignore all of the apparent "bad things said of her". This is your first red flag. Dude, you've gotta step back, get the blinders off, and actually see her for who she truly is. If you don't, you might not like who she is on the inside (as was stated previously by ThePurpleKnight). Also, "wearing her down" isn't exactly a positive thing. If you are somewhat smart, and I don't wanna say this cuz I've never met her or anything, but it's happened to me and many others I know: she may try to use you. I don't know, I'm probably wrong, but I just wanted to put that out there, and you should at least keep it in the back of your mind. If at any time it seems as if this starts to become apparent, you better put those brakes on cuz its not a good feeling to be used. It's like...the opposite of love or something.

Now, if I am incorrect, which I probably am, then you've gotta take this SLOW. You rush into it, the girl gets creeped out, tells her friends, and you're a laughing stock, and I'm sure you don't want that now, right? Start out simple, ask her things that are minor, but not awkward. Try to relate on a school level. Do you have any similar classes? Complain about homework or something. You wanna make small talk, but appropriate small talk. Just work your way up that ladder and you'll be ok. Just be smart about it. Awkwardness in this day and age in funny and charming, but only in the right, non-creepy way. I can't help you out much there, but you seem smart, so I think you'll be fine.

Lastly, I have to say something. You are not in love. Trust me. I've said before, I'm a guy who fell in "love" countless times over. But, there was this one girl (who got away) who I truly connected with, not because I liked her face, smile, or voice...I did, but...the reason I fell in love with her was because we connected in so many ways. We shared in interest in TV, movies, music, sense of humor, even the same view in what love is itself! We shared things to each other that I wouldn't have told anyone else, and she confided in me as well. And we had only known each other for a short time-less than a year, even. That, to me anyway, was love. I think you'll feel the same if you like her in more than just a visual regard, in my opinion.

Either way it works out, I wish you the best. Be cautious, take it slow, but not TOO slow, and see her as a person and not a thing.

 

[Joy]

And I really want to try to get her know her better, or get her phone number or something, but whenever I try to talk to her, either her friends steal the conversation, or it becomes too awkward and dies out. That would be fine, but I think i'm in love with her.

Awh honey, you can't be in love with someone you don't know. At best it's a crush. You've never talked to her, apparently, and maybe she's a total *****, you never know. Also it doesn't seem like you're friends with the same people. Do you have good friends in common, and do you hang out together through these common friends? I may be incorrect, but my guess is no.

I know that I shouldn't love her, or even like her, but she is honestly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I think about her all the time, and no matter how many bad things I hear about her, she just becomes prettier.

Sounds like you fell in crush with one of your popular girls. If she's that beautiful, everyone will want her and you probably won't be her first choice, seeing as you're not even properly friends with her.
What kind of bad things? If she's got a slutty reputation, that doesn't increase your chance, whatever people say about sluts, they're actually quite picky.

The thing is, I am the opposite person that she is. I'm not handsome, I have horrible acne, greasy long hair, an arched back, and I like to think that I am nice, but I'm not sure if i'm even kind anymore. My best qualities would probably be my crappy sense of humor and somewhat smartness.

If I'm right, and if she is a popular girl, it's never gonna happen and I'm sorry for you but just stop trying.

And every day on the way from music to homeroom, I hold the stairwell door for her. She has never really acknowledged my doing so, but recently she has said thank you, or smiled at me.

How gracious of her! >.< Dude, that's just being polite, and you should be worried she didn't do it before, not excited that she's doing it now.

No, seriously man, don't. You're just gonna make a fool of yourself and you shouldn't even try. Back off, stop thinking about her, you're not gonna get her because you're nice.
I'm sorry if I've been harsh but that's just the way it seems to me. Of course, I haven't met this girl, so feel free to ignore my advice.

 

[majoralink]

We do have many friends in common actually. I try to talk to her around those friends, but it's just kind of awkward so her friends talk to me instead of her.

And she's actually not a popular girl, she's only pretty to me and the bad things are more appearance-wise, like she has a bit of lip hair or something.

I know i'm going to make a fool of myself, but I really like her. And I am too persistent, I can't and won't stop until she's at least a friend.

 

[Vanessa28]

You are not/shouldn't be in love with a girl you barely know. Also, if she knows you like her already and your conversations haven't gone well I think this isn't the girl for you and you might come off as creepy if you keep trying.

You just can't controle love you know. If you see someone and you fall in love you can't just say: I only fall in love with people I know. He doesn't necessary comes off as creepy if he tries to have a conversation with her. It would be a different story if she doesn't want him and tells him and he keeps on going after her. She already knows he likes her. So she could also say something to him.

My advice would be just tell her. She already knows so just ask her and at least you will know what to expect. And if it won't be the answer you hoped for at least you can go on with your life. Easier said than done I know but it's always better than walking around and keep on asking yourself if she likes you too.

And another advice: Don't force her to be your friend. She might not feel comfortable if you force her to be your friend. This could have the opposite effect

 

[majoralink]

Does anyone have any advice for me on how to get her number?