Link Floyd
ᵒⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵘⁿ
Well...I've been writing this story called 'Stand-Up Comedy' since spring of 2014...and I finished it a few months ago and I think it's time that it makes it's debut online! (Even though I posted a few chapters on Tumblr..soo I guess it's not really a debut...) Anyways, I would like some feedback since this is the first story I've ever completed so let me know what you guys think and if you like it, I'll continue posting! Thanks.
“Alright! Sit down!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled at the mass of students gathered in the center of the classroom conversing.
“I said sit down!” she yelled again. She would repeat this at least three times every day. Finally, the students went to their desks. The agony of knowing they would be in class with her for an hour gnawed at their souls.
“Okay, today we will be presenting our projects about famous figures throughout American history.” Mrs. Rosenburg said, beginning to drone on about how America is so great.
“The first student who will present is…” Mrs. Rosenburg said, drawing a tiny slip of paper out of a little hat.
“Felix! Get on up here! Felix?”
Mrs. Rosenburg looked to where her most infamous student usually sat, but the seat was empty. “Does anybody know where Felix is?” she asked.
Suddenly, bursting through the door was a teenage boy about 5”6. His eyes were inviting yet dark and deceiving, covered by thick glasses. He was wearing a red cap that said ‘SWAG’ on the side.
“Hello, you finally decided to join us. What’s your excuse for being late this time?” Mrs. Rosenburg said to him.
“Well, I had my hat on, and some teacher just stopped me and told me to take it off but then I told her that it’s stupid to have a rule banning hats and then she wrote me up for detention.” Felix explained sincerely.
“It’s not stupid. We as the students and staff of Maybury High School have to uphold traditional values for the safety of our community.” Mrs. Rosenburg informed; her slight country accent showing in the process.
“How is wearing a hat unsafe?” Felix asked.
“Okay, I don’t wanna hear another word about it. You need to present your project. Remember, this isn’t stand-up comedy! Also, you need to shave that thing growing on your face; having a beard is also against our policies, if you didn’t know already.” Mrs. Rosenburg responded.
Felix let out a heavy sigh and walked to the front of the room, turning on the computer and going to PowerPoint. The class giggled and joked as the computer loaded.
“God, he’s so annoying. I wish he could get kicked out or something already,” one girl said to her friend with a sigh. There was one particular student who sat behind Felix’s desk who begged to differ. She turned to a boy named Deven sitting next to her and said, “He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”
“Word.” Deven said to the girl, Hope, whose face was a fiery shade of red. An image appeared on the screen from the projector of Martin Luther King Jr.
“I did my project on Mr. King,” Felix began, when suddenly he was hit in the chin by a paper airplane. One particularly weird student named Jeremy shouted, “HOMO!” as the whole class laughed; the ones who were awake, of course.
“Shut up! I’m not in the mood today!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled. “Go on Felix.”
He cleared his throat and continued. He read the next slide. “Martin Luther King was an important Civil Rights leader,”
Oh, he’s so intelligent and witty!” Hope whispered to Deven.
Felix switched to the next slide which had a picture of a black dog fighting a white dog.
“What kind of picture is this?” Mrs. Rosenburg asked, scribbling notes on a clipboard.
“I typed black versus white into Google and this is what popped up,” Felix explained.
“Well, it isn’t appropriate for class! What does it have to do with Civil Rights?!” Mrs. Rosenburg began to yell. Felix gave her that cheeky grin of his.
“Well, I thought,” Felix began but was interrupted by the fuming Mrs. Rosenburg.
“You thought NOTHING!” she screeched, slamming her hands on her desk and standing up, preparing for battle.
“Now listen up!” she said to him, when suddenly a loud roar from a plane from the airport next door took off over head. You couldn’t hear anything else. Mrs. Rosenburg stood, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes, waiting. She waited for almost five minutes, and the noise finally stopped.
“Now get out of my classroom!” she commanded, like a drill sergeant. Felix began walking away. When he got to the door he announced, “When I’m in the detention room, everybody protest outside holding ‘Free Felix’ posters.”
“Wait!” Hope shouted as Felix turned the door knob.
“Hope, please sit down in your seat.” Mrs. Rosenburg said, sounding the most polite she has sounded all day.
“Can I present my project now? For the whole class? Including Felix?” Hope asked, blushing. Mrs. Rosenburg paused and then said, “Alright, fine. Felix, sit at my desk. Everybody else wake up!”
Mrs. Rosenburg walked over to Jeremy, who had fallen asleep.
“What is that?” she said, noticing something orange sticking out of his mouth.
“A Cheeto?!” she yelled, slapping Jeremy to wake him up. He groaned slightly, stretching is arms.
“You’re not allowed to have food in class!” she screeched at him.
“What? Do Cheetos threaten the safety of our student body?” Jeremy said.
“He has a point,” Felix quipped.
“I don’t need your input,” Mrs. Rosenburg said.
“Mrs. Rosenburg, do you need a hug?” Felix asked in a nice, sincere tone.
“Don’t even touch me,” she answered, with a look of disgust on her face. “Okay, Hope. Go ahead and show us this masterpiece of yours.”
Hope turned on the projector and a slide that said ‘My American Hero by Hope Sandabald’ appeared on the screen.
“Hi, I’m Hope Sandabald and this is my project on a true, American hero.” She announced, with a giggle. She clicked to the next slide and a picture of Felix appeared on the screen. The entire class shouted “Ew!” with a few vomiting noises in the background as well.
“Felix,” Hope said, turning to him as she clicked the next slide. She pointed at the screen and read what it said.
“Will you go to prom with me?”
A few girls thought it was sweet, but for the most part everyone was dumbfounded. Felix stood in silence, tilting his head to the side and laughing a little. The rest of the class began chattering.
“HOMO!” Jeremy shouted again. Mrs. Rosenburg put her index finger on her lips and tried to calm the rambunctious class.
“Get out of here, Felix!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled, shooing him out.
Suddenly, there was a huge crash. It seemed to come from the other side of the school building. The principal came on the announcements.
“Emergency! Everyone evacuate the building! A plane has just crashed into the science wing! Exit the building immediately!” he exclaimed. All the students were thrown into a panic as Mrs. Rosenburg tried to escort everyone out of the room and out of the building.
“Hurry!” she yelled.
Everyone had exited the building. They stood outside, watching the school burst into flames.
Felix turned to Mrs. Rosenburg, who was completely devastated, and said, “Now that was a threat to our safety.”
Deven chuckled. “Word.”
“Alright! Sit down!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled at the mass of students gathered in the center of the classroom conversing.
“I said sit down!” she yelled again. She would repeat this at least three times every day. Finally, the students went to their desks. The agony of knowing they would be in class with her for an hour gnawed at their souls.
“Okay, today we will be presenting our projects about famous figures throughout American history.” Mrs. Rosenburg said, beginning to drone on about how America is so great.
“The first student who will present is…” Mrs. Rosenburg said, drawing a tiny slip of paper out of a little hat.
“Felix! Get on up here! Felix?”
Mrs. Rosenburg looked to where her most infamous student usually sat, but the seat was empty. “Does anybody know where Felix is?” she asked.
Suddenly, bursting through the door was a teenage boy about 5”6. His eyes were inviting yet dark and deceiving, covered by thick glasses. He was wearing a red cap that said ‘SWAG’ on the side.
“Hello, you finally decided to join us. What’s your excuse for being late this time?” Mrs. Rosenburg said to him.
“Well, I had my hat on, and some teacher just stopped me and told me to take it off but then I told her that it’s stupid to have a rule banning hats and then she wrote me up for detention.” Felix explained sincerely.
“It’s not stupid. We as the students and staff of Maybury High School have to uphold traditional values for the safety of our community.” Mrs. Rosenburg informed; her slight country accent showing in the process.
“How is wearing a hat unsafe?” Felix asked.
“Okay, I don’t wanna hear another word about it. You need to present your project. Remember, this isn’t stand-up comedy! Also, you need to shave that thing growing on your face; having a beard is also against our policies, if you didn’t know already.” Mrs. Rosenburg responded.
Felix let out a heavy sigh and walked to the front of the room, turning on the computer and going to PowerPoint. The class giggled and joked as the computer loaded.
“God, he’s so annoying. I wish he could get kicked out or something already,” one girl said to her friend with a sigh. There was one particular student who sat behind Felix’s desk who begged to differ. She turned to a boy named Deven sitting next to her and said, “He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”
“Word.” Deven said to the girl, Hope, whose face was a fiery shade of red. An image appeared on the screen from the projector of Martin Luther King Jr.
“I did my project on Mr. King,” Felix began, when suddenly he was hit in the chin by a paper airplane. One particularly weird student named Jeremy shouted, “HOMO!” as the whole class laughed; the ones who were awake, of course.
“Shut up! I’m not in the mood today!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled. “Go on Felix.”
He cleared his throat and continued. He read the next slide. “Martin Luther King was an important Civil Rights leader,”
Oh, he’s so intelligent and witty!” Hope whispered to Deven.
Felix switched to the next slide which had a picture of a black dog fighting a white dog.
“What kind of picture is this?” Mrs. Rosenburg asked, scribbling notes on a clipboard.
“I typed black versus white into Google and this is what popped up,” Felix explained.
“Well, it isn’t appropriate for class! What does it have to do with Civil Rights?!” Mrs. Rosenburg began to yell. Felix gave her that cheeky grin of his.
“Well, I thought,” Felix began but was interrupted by the fuming Mrs. Rosenburg.
“You thought NOTHING!” she screeched, slamming her hands on her desk and standing up, preparing for battle.
“Now listen up!” she said to him, when suddenly a loud roar from a plane from the airport next door took off over head. You couldn’t hear anything else. Mrs. Rosenburg stood, hands on her hips, rolling her eyes, waiting. She waited for almost five minutes, and the noise finally stopped.
“Now get out of my classroom!” she commanded, like a drill sergeant. Felix began walking away. When he got to the door he announced, “When I’m in the detention room, everybody protest outside holding ‘Free Felix’ posters.”
“Wait!” Hope shouted as Felix turned the door knob.
“Hope, please sit down in your seat.” Mrs. Rosenburg said, sounding the most polite she has sounded all day.
“Can I present my project now? For the whole class? Including Felix?” Hope asked, blushing. Mrs. Rosenburg paused and then said, “Alright, fine. Felix, sit at my desk. Everybody else wake up!”
Mrs. Rosenburg walked over to Jeremy, who had fallen asleep.
“What is that?” she said, noticing something orange sticking out of his mouth.
“A Cheeto?!” she yelled, slapping Jeremy to wake him up. He groaned slightly, stretching is arms.
“You’re not allowed to have food in class!” she screeched at him.
“What? Do Cheetos threaten the safety of our student body?” Jeremy said.
“He has a point,” Felix quipped.
“I don’t need your input,” Mrs. Rosenburg said.
“Mrs. Rosenburg, do you need a hug?” Felix asked in a nice, sincere tone.
“Don’t even touch me,” she answered, with a look of disgust on her face. “Okay, Hope. Go ahead and show us this masterpiece of yours.”
Hope turned on the projector and a slide that said ‘My American Hero by Hope Sandabald’ appeared on the screen.
“Hi, I’m Hope Sandabald and this is my project on a true, American hero.” She announced, with a giggle. She clicked to the next slide and a picture of Felix appeared on the screen. The entire class shouted “Ew!” with a few vomiting noises in the background as well.
“Felix,” Hope said, turning to him as she clicked the next slide. She pointed at the screen and read what it said.
“Will you go to prom with me?”
A few girls thought it was sweet, but for the most part everyone was dumbfounded. Felix stood in silence, tilting his head to the side and laughing a little. The rest of the class began chattering.
“HOMO!” Jeremy shouted again. Mrs. Rosenburg put her index finger on her lips and tried to calm the rambunctious class.
“Get out of here, Felix!” Mrs. Rosenburg yelled, shooing him out.
Suddenly, there was a huge crash. It seemed to come from the other side of the school building. The principal came on the announcements.
“Emergency! Everyone evacuate the building! A plane has just crashed into the science wing! Exit the building immediately!” he exclaimed. All the students were thrown into a panic as Mrs. Rosenburg tried to escort everyone out of the room and out of the building.
“Hurry!” she yelled.
Everyone had exited the building. They stood outside, watching the school burst into flames.
Felix turned to Mrs. Rosenburg, who was completely devastated, and said, “Now that was a threat to our safety.”
Deven chuckled. “Word.”