@CynicalSquid
You have been complaining for months and as far as I can tell have done nothing to attempt to improve your condition. I don't know your whole angle but you can't rely on others to save you. The only one who can pull you out of the pit is yourself. Find anything to hold onto that makes you even the slightest bit better, even the smallest spark is better than darkness. I had to deal with heavy stuff last year and it took tons of effort on my part to even begin to recover. A lot of changing the way I think, the way I speak and act. I'm still figuring it out.
Notice even the smallest of things you have, if they even did anything at all to make you just a little less sad, hold onto that and don't let go.
Think of only the positives.
The negative thoughts are not yours.
Start acting happy even if you know you're bullshitting, your brain won't know a fake smile from a real one.
I wish everyone could just be happy but it's one of the hardest things to get so you have to keep at it every single day.