Why Every Zelda Game is the Worst

Let’s begin by saying that while there are better and worse Zelda games, even the worst Zelda game is infinitely better than most games by other developers. In those rare instances wherein Nintendo has faltered, other non-Nintendo games rack up the misstep tally ten to Nintendo’s one. But–like any of us–Nintendo is not infallible. And today we’re here to talk about where they failed the most in each and every title… based on our own varied opinions as fans of the series.

Jump inside to read why I feel every Zelda game is the worst Zelda game.

“Worst”, of course, is a matter of opinion. And I find that our opinions on favorites/least favorites is greatly informed by timing. It seems to me that whichever game we play first is oftentimes our favorite. But more importantly: it sets the mold: it tells us “This is what a Zelda game is” and thereafter the games which come closest to resembling that mold or improving upon it are “the best ones” whereas the games which are the most stylistically different from “the mold” or contradict it in some way are “the worst ones”.

Say, for instance, that The Wind Waker was your first Zelda game. “The mold” to you might be “bright, cartoon-y, colorful, with expressive farcical expressions.” When Twilight Princess came out and was the antithesis to that mold, you’d probably decided that it didn’t quite capture “the Zelda essence”–based on your own definition, dictated by the mold set by the Zelda game you’d first played.

Or perhaps your first Zelda game was Ocarina of Time. When The Wind Waker came out with its brand new art style which featured very stylized characters in a very deformed “chibi” cartoon style… you likely thought “this isn’t Zelda! This isn’t serious and realistic like Ocarina of Time.” Well, while it is true the character models in Ocarina aren’t nearly as deformed, they’re still fairly cartoon-y in shape. Nor was Ocarina all that much darker in color palette or story. I would argue that The Wind Waker even stepped further into darker territory than Ocarina if Time: the entire world had been destroyed in the back story with countless lives lost, and now a mad man kidnaps your sister, and you–a very young boy–have to leave your ailing grandmother to fend for herself whilst you track this mad man down, who–it turns out–has a thing for kidnapping pretty young girls, and ultimately stab him in the face, killing him. This is a surprising dark game in theme. Imagine that it had Twilight Princess style graphics and music… It might have received a more mature rating.

My point is that there are as many different opinions on what makes Zelda Zelda as there are fans of the series. Heck, I even know some old-schoolers for whom the original Legend of Zelda was their first game, and some of these people feel that Ocarina of Time/The Wind Waker/Twilight Princess/Skyward Sword (the 3D Zelda games) aren’t true Zeldas because they’re not top down sprites adventures. These are what they consider to be the “worst” Zelda games. One of those guys had played and loved The Legend of Zelda, The Adventure of Link, A Link to the Past, and Link’s Awakening… but couldn’t bring himself to finish Ocarina of Time because it “just wasn’t Zelda” to him. But when The Minish Cap came onto the scene (a game commonly regarded as one of the lesser-than titles by those of us who started Zelda in the Ocarina-era) he said he felt Nintendo had finally brought out a true successor to A Link to the Past. It’s all about perspective. The Minish Cap is my least favorite Zelda, for the record, but I’ll get to that next week.

There are kids today for whom Skyward Sword is their first Zelda game. These kids will likely look back at Twilight Princess‘ now-dated graphics, at Majora’s Mask’s gigantic polygons, at A Link to the Past‘s archaic sprites… and wonder how those games could be considered Zelda when clearly Zelda is all about a detailed painterly art style, a love story, and flying through the clouds on your Loftwing. Perspective.

Which game do you consider the worst Zelda game? Does it happen to be the polar opposite in some way to the first Zelda game you played? Let me know in the comments below! Next week I just might analyze your specific first/worst scenario while talking about mine: A Link to the Past/The Minish Cap. Stay tuned!