Hello and welcome to yet another episodes of Xenosucks Xenoblade! I am your host Damir “Demigod” Halilović, and with me as my co-host are my imaginary friends Hannibal Lecter and Nate. We continue today with our daily (Soon perhaps to turn into semi-daily, more on that later) dissection of the newest hit RPG title for the Wii. As per usual, I will keep on nitpicking, calling the game out on its BS, and people will still clog out common sense and spew my inbox with angry messages, not realizing that they’re pouring oil into the fire. I love my job.
Be aware once again that there are spoilers ahead, so steer away if you want to shut out the voices in your head telling you to burn the cat of the fat neighbor kid who stole your piece of cake on your own damn birthday party and always smells like stale milk, while at the same time filling your head with echoes of their own laughter at your very own insecurities and flaws until every last shred of your self-esteem has degenerated and seeped into the black depths of your soul where it joined the big, black, pulsating tumor representing your pent up rage, sadness, bitterness, envy and self-loathing, always reminding you that your mother does not love you, you will not succeed in life and there will be no warm hand to hold your own as you reach old age, dying of bowel cancer, eyes filled with contrite tears, sad and alone in your dark, moist, low-end apartment… I had a point there somewhere…