Castle
Ch!ld0fV!si0n
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2012
- Location
- Crisis? What Crisis?
- Gender
- Pan-decepticon-transdeliberate-selfidentifying-sodiumbased-extraexistential-temporal anomaly
why is wind waker so bad?the lore?the gameplay?
Yes. It begins at Start. That intro. The entire backstory of the game is writ to shoehorn the game into the Zelda series. More evidence to me that WW began as an idea and ninty did that obnoxious thing they do where they find one of their existing IPs to cram it into where it never belonged.the lore?
It spits on Ocarina of Time by disregarding the Hero of Time's epic struggle. Do you have fond memories of your perilous and wondrous adventure in OoT? Well screw you. Some time later Ganon inexplicably reappeared but for some inane non-reason some hero didn't and the Gods just deus ex apocalypse'd Hyrule anyway. Too bad. Why'd you even bother?
All so ninty could put tow-headed midget freak Link in a boat and sail around neon-watercolor Caribbean. That's it. They needed an ocean where an ocean never was before. Except - OH WAIT!! Hyrule does have an ocean! Hyrule's had an ocean since the first game. The first time Hyrule didn't have an ocean was in ALttP more than half way through the series. But ninty's long term memory failed decades ago so that little detail is completely lost on them so all they could do was lore bomb the series to make Waker's concept work.
Yes. It was someone's idea to let players set sail in a boat and explore an open world ocean with dozens of islands to discover. Why then is the act of sailing in Wind Waker about as exciting as actual sailing? Why is it just minutes upon agonizing minutes of nothing happening just to get from point A to point B? Why is it that any time I need to make a 90 degree turn I have to come to a complete stop and play that stupid DDR minigame and then wait while the game plays that obnoxious song I just played back at me? Why is it that maybe I might have to jump or shoot at something that doesn't even pose a serious threat anyway as it passes by? Why is it that the only other thing to do in the boat is stop and slowly inch it over arbitrary rings of light to press a button that draws up a treasure chest with a useless crane game prize in it? Why is it that the last third of the game is entirely that over a hundred times over???the gameplay?
Why is it that for 3/4th of the game that stupid boat won't even let me sail in any direction other than a straight line to the next island???
Why does the game even have any other button for combat when you can just Press A in a somewhat timely manner to spam a counter attack that simultaneously attacks and avoids all damage? What's the point of a shield? Why are the first two dungeons tediously long and every other dungeon in the game so obviously truncated? Why are boss fights so simple? Why are puzzles so painfully obvious? Why is half the challenge of this game just navigating a straight line for minutes on end???